AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

You’re missing the point here, as are some PP.

A self-employed person doesn’t get all the nice perks of being employed. So within their hourly rate they have to consider expenses like:

Insurance
Cost of equipment
Travel
Wear and tear
Any consumables for the particular job
Electricity/property rental (not relevant here)

Every single self-employed person has to consider all their costs when setting rates. That’s even before you’re being charged for them providing their skills, planning and organising the delivery, and time spent communicating with you.

The plumber you referenced does the same. It’s an inherent part of being self-employed. No sick pay, no holiday pay, no employer pensions. No using someone else’s equipment or stationery. Every single cost has to be borne by the self-employed person. So that is all built into the rates customers are charged. Every single industry does this, whether you’re aware of it or not.

Also in your OP you said a “couple of hours” of work. Thats £110 per hour which is extremely reasonable for hiring a skilled self-employed person.

You were extremely rude to her so no wonder she gave you short shrift. If I was the friend who passed the details on, I’d be mortified at your behaviour.

Stick a couple of “tunes” on Spotify. That’s all you have the budget for, clearly.

She wasn’t rude she was right. You can learn to play and play at your next wedding . Stop being so cheeky to people.

Is this real!?

"Very personal remark"? Don’t be silly. As I’m sure you know perfectly well really, it was nothing of the sort. "Gutter mouthed"? Where? You’re sounding ridiculous in your attempt to be the victim.

Currently 96% of responders think you are the one who was unreasonable, but that’s not what you want to hear so you just keep arguing.

If you’ve not just arrived on mumsnet you must have realised you’d get this response.

I’m not sure how you expected her to respond as you were quite rude yourself. If you’d wanted to test to see if she’d be willing to do it for less, you could have said something like “Sorry we just have a budget of X for the Wedding”. Something like that wouldn’t be so confrontational.

She doesn’t need to know anything about you and DF, she was making a point about you devaluing her work and worth.

And chin up, you may do an Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, your next wedding could be to DF again after a divorce.

Oh are you one of those, one of those people that wants for nothing? 😆 I bet you are the tight one amongst your mates.

£220 is CHEAP, I’d snap her hand off - wedding entertainments singers, magicians etc.. often start in the region of £450 north FYI and it’s common for atleast £50 travel fees on top.

Most weddings aren't 40 minutes from the player's home and they can't travel there, do four or five weddings, then go home.

That’s a bargain. Mine was £100 just for the 30 minute (so about a hour all in) ceremony 25 years ago.

Once again people try to equate a working salary with a freelancer. They have to charge a lot more for things like:

1. Insurance to cover the cost of any damage to the piano or risk to other people
2. No sick days, pension, holidays or any other benefit
3. National insurance and tax (you can remove 30% of the cost just for that)
4. Travel
5. Clothing
6. Doing a wedding at a weekend for a what seems like a demanding bride!

at £220 I’d have bitten her hand off!

Exactly! She was cheeky, got a response fit for the cheek and now complaining.

When I used to make cakes I got similar nonsense, it got to a point I simply didn’t even bother replying, I just ghosted them, it wasn’t worth spending more energy replying to someone like that when they want a bells and whistles cake but want to pay Colin the caterpillar prices 🙄

I give the price, if you don’t like it then simply decline and move on, or explain you have a lower budget and then maybe we can work something out, but don’t start saying my prices are too high, etc.

You keep saying about the per hour cost but don’t seem to recognise the hours and hours of practice the pianist would have done to prepare. YABU!

Good for the pianist. It’s reassuring to hear that people are standing up for themselves against cf like you.

I personally think it’s pretty reasonable. Good luck finding something else. Was her response rude? Yes, but she’s not wrong that it takes years to train to play music. But her response was a tad rude.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Vast majority of people say that OP is BU and yet she is still
utterly convinced she isn’t. I’m suffering some serious second embarrassment for her.

You're the rude one. That is a reasonable price. Your paying for her expertise and skill. I don't blame her for responding like that.

The pianist isn't your mate. Why should you get it cheap

I thought this. I paid similar amount for steel drums for 1.5 hours 18yrs ago.

This will be in the daily mail by the end of the week, guaranteed.

You’re not that skilled then or you are skilled but a lot of other people share that skill.

Supply and demand.

Well she’s not wrong.

Lol!!!! Well done for the pianist. I'll do it for £50. It'll just sound rubbish

You were unbelievably rude to expect mates rates from someone you dont personally know.

Also is it an hour, or 2 hours?

If she gets paid then she is doing it professionally even if not a full time job.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, @Bamsmam you know the price of everything and the value of nothing,

Haggling over the price of a live pianist who would bring so much to your wedding in the form of atmosphere and uniqueness really isn't a good look. It's cheapskate. You'll never accept that though, you're far too busy justifying what you believe to be the only right perspective.

We had a live classical guitarist at our wedding and it's one of the things that our guests remember years later.

Just put on a CD or download. Cheap as chips.