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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel bitter towards people especially men since losing 8 stone.

177 replies

SharpBrickMaker · 05/10/2025 09:58

I lost 8 stone and now im a size 10. I feel so much better, not to mention my back doesn't hurt anymore. Which was a major issue for me before.

I have male neighbours that now say hi to me. Who before didn't even know I existed..They seem quite offended when I dont want to chat. When im trying to cross the road more cars mainly men now stop to let me pass. Men now chat to me outside.
Delivery drivers who have been here before now are very talkative and helpful.

I love wearing dresses just now and feel very sexy in them. I've caught quite a few men stare at me and it makes me mad. I don't wear what I wear for them. I do it for me.

My husband has always found me attractive. He still can't keep his hands off me like before, He quite enjoys picking me up now I think. He has never based my worth on my weight or my attractiveness on it. Because of that I actually feel my love for him has grown.

That's the only reason I haven't turned full blown man hater just now I think

OP posts:
TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 03/04/2026 09:37

Wildgoat · 03/04/2026 09:23

I see this kind of thing come up on here a lot and it staggers me how people get all twisted and bitter, like they were entitled to attention before and people saying hello to them.

everyone knows people find healthy weight folks more attractive in general
when we are obese we often behave differently, we don’t make eye contact, we try to hide away, when a healthy weight that behaviour an change, we become more confident,

turning youself into a self proclaimed man hater, and going on about how much your husband fancies you is jist plain odd in my view. You’re too invested in other people and what they think of you.

just enjoy your life and stop with all the silliness.

I feel similar about women who have a whinge about becoming invisible after a certain age.

I mean, if you didn't bother to cultivate any sort of personality between the age of 0 and 49, don't be surprised that once the basic biological imperative of breeding is out of the way, you need a bit more about you to engage people.

There's a man at my work who is so attractive because he's engaged, enthusiastic, warm and has a particular style. All the other men just basically register as "a person" to me because they dress and act blandly.

And of all the other blokes I know, the ones who are attractive to me aren't innately hot or good looking etc - they dress with a certain care, they are confident and warm.

I have never struggled to engage with anyone or felt invisible from size 12 to size 22.

Shizzlestix · 03/04/2026 09:42

Lost 11st and was definitely more invisible when very fat, probably because I felt bad/embarassed and was dragging myself around. My DH has always been attracted to me, regardless of size. I feel so much better but am still invisible except to people who hadn’t seen me since the weightloss. I’ve loved their reactions and I feel very confident, but being mid 50s, I think invisibility is fine/safer/more what I want. The style change is very interesting and probably explains why more people are interested in talking to the OP. What you project is all important re confidence/feeling good, I find.

How do you feel now, @SharpBrickMaker ?

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