To feel bitter towards people especially men since losing 8 stone.

[SharpBrickMaker]

I lost 8 stone and now im a size 10. I feel so much better, not to mention my back doesn't hurt anymore. Which was a major issue for me before.

I have male neighbours that now say hi to me. Who before didn't even know I existed..They seem quite offended when I dont want to chat. When im trying to cross the road more cars mainly men now stop to let me pass. Men now chat to me outside.
Delivery drivers who have been here before now are very talkative and helpful.

I love wearing dresses just now and feel very sexy in them. I've caught quite a few men stare at me and it makes me mad. I don't wear what I wear for them. I do it for me.

My husband has always found me attractive. He still can't keep his hands off me like before, He quite enjoys picking me up now I think. He has never based my worth on my weight or my attractiveness on it. Because of that I actually feel my love for him has grown.

That's the only reason I haven't turned full blown man hater just now I think

Poor men. They cant do right for doing wrong can they?
Look at an attractive women and they are a raging perv. Look at an overweight woman and they are judging 🙄

Delivery drivers and male neighbours all chat to me even though I am an older, overweight woman, and I haven't been run over yet either. I suspect you have changed and are much more confident in your new slim line body and nice dresses and are giving out positive vibes to everyone around you, which they respond to. And yes some men do find slim women more attractive, although that's obviously not universal as there are a lot of happily married women who are not slim, I expect you have a particular taste in men too.

There are so many men in this world who will only talk to a woman if they want to have sex with her. They just think women are a different species. At least you knew which ones to avoid before. It was the ones who avoided you!

I noticed people being kinder to me when I started wearing glasses, more patient in queues etc. I don't hate them all for being huffy with me when I was squinting and long staring.

Also people fall over me when I m with my cute miniature dog.

Visuals trigger responses.

Eat a load of pies and the “problem” will go away.

There's no point in getting angry about the fact the majority of people don't find morbid obesity attractive.

Your DH did, but I'd expect him to really as he loves you.

If others did, the amount of dating apps for hugely overweight people would sky rocket.

Just be pleased with yourself that you managed to lose all that weight and try and lose the anger for your own sake.

This sums it up nicely I think.

I love wearing dresses just now and feel very sexy in them

So you think you’re more attractive after losing eight stone, but you’re annoyed that other people do too?

If you are happier and feel sexier and more confident and more energetic - which you clearly do - people will respond better to you and will find you more approachable. You will project more warmth and cheerfulness and seem more approachable and fun than someone who feels tired and unsexy and is suffering physical pain from a bad back. Those feelings show, one way or another, and people notice - even if it’s not entirely conscious on their part.

So you now enjoy wearing sexy dresses, but you only wear them "for you" and not for male attention?

Life, and human nature, doesn't work like that sweetheart!

Men used to fall over themselves to do favours for me, open doors etc when I was slim. Now I’m a few stone heavier and have kids in tow I’m completely invisible

I’ve had the same experience and feel the same - although it only took a couple of stone to see a huge change in strangers interactions with me. I went from a size 14 to a 10 - 12 so we’re not talking significant change either. Workmen are so much more helpful. Men say hello in shops and try and start conversations.

Same with fitness - when I first started running I had lots of men shouting negative things from vans, then forcing me off paths, starting weird conversations with me. Now I’m fitter (and look more athletic ) they’re really friendly.

I find it very unsettling. And also odd as I’m in my mid 40s and was ‘invisible’ before. I’m certainly no model and just probably conventionally attractive now. It’s really weird to see the change.

I understand it's pretty disheartening Op to see so plainly that these men didn't notice you before, you were the same person but they didn't engage. If you're happily married what they think doesn't matter, just ignore them

I think it’s because it’s about normal decent behaviour. They’re not chatting her up just simply being much nicer. And that’s what’s unsettling. I can understand men being more attracted to her but it’s the fact that it changes their behaviour so much.

That would be convenient for men wouldn’t it?

If we all did that we’d never notice that men as a group behave in many, many ways which disadvantage women.

You’ve said though that you stop for them to cross the road - this is the difference. Men now stop for me to cross the road but they didn’t before or even deliberately sped up at me if I’d stepped out before they’d appeared. The difference in normal decent behaviour is shocking.

I enjoyed being invisible, 50 and fat but now I’m 3 stone lighter I’ve noticed more attention but from women as well.

You're experiencing pretty privalege - a proven phenomenon.
You don't have to engage but you can't make it go away.
You could stuff your face, put the weight back on and be ignored again 🤣

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that morbidly obese men with 8 stone of bodyweight to lose, also get treated differently by both men and women.

What a nasty bitter post. I have also lost a lot of weight and I enjoy it when people notice or when I get the occasional compliment which I didn’t get when I was obese. I also enjoy looking better in nice clothes.

I notice men who are in good shape & nicely dressed more than I notice scruffy fat slobs. So why shouldn’t the same work in reverse?

There was even a study that showed that babies smiled more, and looked for longer at conventionally attractive mothers. Don't ask me to find it - I read about it in the 80s. I'm certainly willing to believe that quite a lot of the way people react is innate rather than conscious.

I think people are being disingenuous or missing the point when they say “it’s not surprising people find you more attractive now you’ve lost weight”. Surely the issue isn’t that they now find her attractive, it’s that she gets more common courtesy and politeness.

@FuzzyWolftuays true maybe with friends and colleagues but I’m not sure a bloke in a car or a delivery bloke has time to pick up on any new found confidence!
OP the fact remains: first interactions are based on looks, and actually that’s the same for all sexes. I’m sure many a previously overweight male will say the same except women don’t tend to be so overtly obnoxious about it.

That is almost certainly the case.

Maybe when you were obese you looked miserable but now you are a healthy weight you look happier and therefore more approachable!

This is completely to be expected and, as others have said, biological/evolutionary sense. (It however doesn't work when you are old! In my 60s and have lost about 3 stone and I am invisible as I was before!).