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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“We need to stop importing people who hate us”

186 replies

OneAmusedShark · 03/10/2025 21:13

Overheard an older couple of Caribbean couple talking about the Manchester attack on the train earlier and one of
them used this phrase.

Someone else (who was getting off at the time) shouted at them “You can’t say that! It’s hate speech!”

I didn’t get involved.

Was it hate speech?

OP posts:
CancelTheTableAlan · 04/10/2025 08:29

The potential "hatey" bit, I guess, is saying that the "people who hate us" only come from a group of "imported" people. I think sadly the people who hate others have been here among us for a long time. Muslims don't want to bring down the West, white men arent rapists, Jewish people arent genocidal anti-Palestinians, lonely disaffected young men aren't all incel murderers, etc etc. Yes there are people who are those awful things and also fall into those demographic groups. But they are horrible people anyway.

The way to stop all those horrible things isn't to just stop immigration. The ways to stop those terrible things, including hatred between groups, are complex, multi faceted, need lots of different economic, social, environmental, psychological solutions across the world.

I wouldn't call it hate speech but I think it's reductive.

YelloDaisy · 04/10/2025 08:30

Gerald Kaus on the Rest is Politics podcast explains how to stop the boats.

BeardofHagrid · 04/10/2025 08:31

“We’ve had free speech in this country for a very, very long time.”

-Keir Starmer

YelloDaisy · 04/10/2025 08:32

Did he forget that after the flag flying demos

DancingNotDrowning · 04/10/2025 08:39

Blusteryskies · 04/10/2025 07:45

I think this is very well said, and I agree with a lot of what you say. However let's not pretend that it's only men from ethnic minorities who abuse and subjugate women. White men abuse, batter and rape women and children too. It's often framed as though rape and domestic violence weren't an issue until people of colour arrived. A man could legally rape his wife in this country until the 90s.

Violence and the subjugation of women isn't acceptable in this country, but it is certainly wide spread and hidden. We criticise other countries, but at this point rape is pretty much legalised in this country with less than 5% of rapists being prosecuted.

Case in point - the awfully cringey interview with the Falkirk councillor who knew all about a rape in her town committed by an asylum seeker, but nothing about the two rapes committed by white Scottish men during the same time period in her town. Violence against women and girls is a global issue, and men of all colours and creeds are guilty of perpetuating it.

People aren’t pretending that there’s not a problem with home grown rape and abuse.

we know absolutely there is, but unfortunately there is no option to exile those British born rapists and child abusers that live amongst us.

That doesn’t mean we should ignore those people about whom we can do something.

men who have raped, abused or committed violence before coming to the UK should not be permitted to stay. Those who do it whilst they are here on visas should be deported.

Aesopsnonfables · 04/10/2025 08:40

Crowde · 03/10/2025 22:51

I think we need to be honest about a difficult reality…many parts of the world hold values and societal norms that are fundamentally incompatible with those of the UK. I would love to believe that every human being is inherently good, but that simply isn’t true. In far too many societies, practices like child marriage and the routine abuse of women are not just tolerated but normalised. These views are upheld, not by fringe extremists, but by ordinary people.

It is not acceptable for those attitudes to be imported here. We have fought too hard and come too far in terms of women’s rights to allow misogynistic norms to take root in our society. Men who have been socialised in environments where violence and subjugation of women are everyday realities should not be given free rein to bring those mindsets into this country.

I say this as a British Sikh woman. I am not islamaphobic nor am I seeking approval by appeasing anyone (as I am often accused of when I share my views online).

And quite frankly, I am tired of the middle class tendency to posture and virtue signal under the guise of compassion. This superficial moralism may make some people feel enlightened, but it does nothing to protect women.

Edited

Well said. These are the typical reasons why those "left-wing" "liberal" middle classes that support it do so:

  1. they are racist bigots that rarely mix with people of other races and cultures and through non mixing and isolating themselves from others to themselves they have almost no deep knowledge of many cultures based on and how people live and think - while ironically calling those who have better knowledge of them or live among them racist.
  2. they are evil, controlling people that do want detriment to others
  3. they are stupid and naive, with little to no critical thinking.
  4. mix of the above
Dollymylove · 04/10/2025 08:43

Its not hate speech to not.want 1000s of undocumented young men being put up in hotels, free food, medical and dental care, whose rights appear to trump those of the people who are having to bankroll this shit show

EasternStandard · 04/10/2025 08:43

YelloDaisy · 04/10/2025 08:30

Gerald Kaus on the Rest is Politics podcast explains how to stop the boats.

What’s his main take on it?

Livelovebehappy · 04/10/2025 08:44

Of course it’s true. I’m glad that people are more open with how it really is now. ‘Importing’ pretty much describes the situation well…

Aesopsnonfables · 04/10/2025 08:45

DancingNotDrowning · 04/10/2025 08:39

People aren’t pretending that there’s not a problem with home grown rape and abuse.

we know absolutely there is, but unfortunately there is no option to exile those British born rapists and child abusers that live amongst us.

That doesn’t mean we should ignore those people about whom we can do something.

men who have raped, abused or committed violence before coming to the UK should not be permitted to stay. Those who do it whilst they are here on visas should be deported.

Yes there is but it's overrepresented (more likely) to be in cultures routed in deep mysoginy, subjugation and control by males. Why have something that's even more evil.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/10/2025 08:46

Agrumpyknitter · 03/10/2025 21:25

So how do you know which of the brown people have been ‘imported and hate the country’ or do you not care?

Unfortunately there are extremists and people full of hatred that target the innocent. From all backgrounds.

I am of an age where I remember the IRA attacks in the U.K.

I agree. I was living in London and Bristol during the IRA attacks but it didn't make me hate all Irish people.

It's not racist to discuss immigration but it is racist to say 'they all hate this country' or 'they are all paedophiles' because people with a particular ethnicity are not all the same. The people you overheard might have forgotten (or weren't yet born) that in the 70s there were some people who said that all West Indian males were muggers and pimps. It's stereotyping at the very least, probably not hate speech unless they are advocating violence towards them.

Livelovebehappy · 04/10/2025 08:53

CancelTheTableAlan · 04/10/2025 08:29

The potential "hatey" bit, I guess, is saying that the "people who hate us" only come from a group of "imported" people. I think sadly the people who hate others have been here among us for a long time. Muslims don't want to bring down the West, white men arent rapists, Jewish people arent genocidal anti-Palestinians, lonely disaffected young men aren't all incel murderers, etc etc. Yes there are people who are those awful things and also fall into those demographic groups. But they are horrible people anyway.

The way to stop all those horrible things isn't to just stop immigration. The ways to stop those terrible things, including hatred between groups, are complex, multi faceted, need lots of different economic, social, environmental, psychological solutions across the world.

I wouldn't call it hate speech but I think it's reductive.

In theory you’re right. It needs intervention globally to address all these issues, but the reality is it would be impossible to do that. Misogyny and other associated values adopted by many countries is learned behaviour, ingrained from birth. It’s normalised, and bringing into the UK an adult man who has grown with these values, it would be nigh on impossible to wipe out all the years when he has grown up surrounded by people who practice those behaviours, and turn him into someone else.

mamagogo1 · 04/10/2025 08:54

It’s not hate speech as it’s not specific to any particular group, just a sentiment that many agree with however we need to remember that this person was a British citizen and of late at least we have had issues with British born terrorists and/or brought by parents as dc, online radicalisation can happen to any ethnicity or background. Those who work with teens and young adults are acutely aware of the risks of radicalisation, a friend of mine runs a madrasah and he says that the thought of one of his former students being turned into a terrorist keeps him awake at night, despite him running a very moderate, modern madrasah and teaching them the peaceful way

skippy67 · 04/10/2025 08:55

YelloDaisy · 04/10/2025 08:32

Did he forget that after the flag flying demos

The demos that actually happened, and where people were allowed to speak freely you mean?

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 04/10/2025 08:55

BallerinaRadio · 04/10/2025 08:11

Hey it's her make believe story she's free to decide the ethnicity of the characters!

Jackanory is all inclusive now it's moved on from the early days of Janet and John and the all White's family and friends.👍😁

skippy67 · 04/10/2025 09:00

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 04/10/2025 08:55

Jackanory is all inclusive now it's moved on from the early days of Janet and John and the all White's family and friends.👍😁

🤣

Crowde · 04/10/2025 09:09

FrauPaige · 04/10/2025 08:05

I think that you are naive to think that the current tensions in this country relate to Muslims in isolation. Most south east Asian Britons are feeling the ramifications no matter which religion they subscribe to as white Britons can't typically distinguish between a person or Bangladeshi or Pakistani or Indian descent, let alone which region they are descendant, or which religion they follow.

When you are affluent and nobody flies flags in your area, this may all be a thought experiment for you, I suppose.

So, indulge me.

You have raised misogyny. You wrote:
"Men who have been socialised in environments where violence and subjugation of women are everyday realities should not be given free rein to bring those mindsets into this country"

Do you recognise that gender imbalance extends across south east Asia as a region?

Are you in turn suggesting an impass on immigration from south east Asia?

Nowhere did I mention Islam, nor did I single out any particular religion. Accusing me for targeting Muslims is a great way to obfuscate and derail the discussion though. My concern is about values and attitude people are raised with and whether those norms align with the standards we expect in the UK.

I personally wouldn’t want to see people immigrating en masse from the central strip of India which is a region that remains deeply patriarchal and where women are often treated appallingly. That isn’t an attack on Indians, it’s a recognition of the reality that some areas are still socially regressive and resistant to change.

My point is simple: it’s naive to think that people who have been socialised in environments where women are systematically devalued can just arrive here and immediately adopt liberal, egalitarian values. Cultural conditioning doesn’t dissolve at border control. And pretending otherwise is both dishonest and dangerous.

If someone, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh or otherwise, holds backward, misogynistic views, they have no place coming to the UK.

CrispsPlease · 04/10/2025 09:09

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 04/10/2025 07:10

They are called luxury beliefs. You get the luxury of sounding politically correct/virtuous because you are insulated from the reality or you think you will never personally experience the downside. Same with women campaigning for male sex offenders in women's prisons - won't affect them, so they get the luxury of adopting the popular/convenient belief.

Agree entirely with these statements

Blusteryskies · 04/10/2025 09:10

DancingNotDrowning · 04/10/2025 08:39

People aren’t pretending that there’s not a problem with home grown rape and abuse.

we know absolutely there is, but unfortunately there is no option to exile those British born rapists and child abusers that live amongst us.

That doesn’t mean we should ignore those people about whom we can do something.

men who have raped, abused or committed violence before coming to the UK should not be permitted to stay. Those who do it whilst they are here on visas should be deported.

I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments. All I'm raising is the issue that certain politicians and segments of the media would like to make out that this is a foreign issue.

Last year, over 30% of men arrested for taking part in the riots had convictions for domestic violence and in one city it was 68%. A lot of the thugs who claim to be standing up for women and girls are abusers themselves.

LidlAmaretto · 04/10/2025 09:22

Crowde · 03/10/2025 22:51

I think we need to be honest about a difficult reality…many parts of the world hold values and societal norms that are fundamentally incompatible with those of the UK. I would love to believe that every human being is inherently good, but that simply isn’t true. In far too many societies, practices like child marriage and the routine abuse of women are not just tolerated but normalised. These views are upheld, not by fringe extremists, but by ordinary people.

It is not acceptable for those attitudes to be imported here. We have fought too hard and come too far in terms of women’s rights to allow misogynistic norms to take root in our society. Men who have been socialised in environments where violence and subjugation of women are everyday realities should not be given free rein to bring those mindsets into this country.

I say this as a British Sikh woman. I am not islamaphobic nor am I seeking approval by appeasing anyone (as I am often accused of when I share my views online).

And quite frankly, I am tired of the middle class tendency to posture and virtue signal under the guise of compassion. This superficial moralism may make some people feel enlightened, but it does nothing to protect women.

Edited

Agree. We need to be far more intolerant of the intolerant if we are to keep people safe. It's all fine saying ' all beliefs are equal' when you are not having your vote stolen, being banned from learning English or leaving the house, in marriages where you have no rights, being married to some loser, have been subject to fgm yet you are a British citizen. Just because some well meaning lefties have decided they are all equal 'cultural differences' and won't do anything to protect you.

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 04/10/2025 09:25

We pretty much hate ourselves in Britain anyway. I mean no one would vote for Reform if they didn’t hate their country and themselves!

BoudiccaRuled · 04/10/2025 09:27

FrauPaige · 04/10/2025 08:05

I think that you are naive to think that the current tensions in this country relate to Muslims in isolation. Most south east Asian Britons are feeling the ramifications no matter which religion they subscribe to as white Britons can't typically distinguish between a person or Bangladeshi or Pakistani or Indian descent, let alone which region they are descendant, or which religion they follow.

When you are affluent and nobody flies flags in your area, this may all be a thought experiment for you, I suppose.

So, indulge me.

You have raised misogyny. You wrote:
"Men who have been socialised in environments where violence and subjugation of women are everyday realities should not be given free rein to bring those mindsets into this country"

Do you recognise that gender imbalance extends across south east Asia as a region?

Are you in turn suggesting an impass on immigration from south east Asia?

South East Asia refers to Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia etc.
South Asia is the Indian subcontinent, the region containing India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.

CurlewKate · 04/10/2025 09:28

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Gall10 · 04/10/2025 09:35

KTheGrey · 03/10/2025 22:03

America deals with this quite simply - you swear allegiance to the flag. I guess for the UK it’s King and country. But in both cases what it really signifies is not attacking your neighbours in the same country, whatever their background.

Why the fuck should I ‘swear allegiance’ to some old bloke who’s never done a days work in his life… lives a completely pampered life thanks to the tax payers… cheated on his wife, doesn’t speak to his son and has his very own loo seat flown around the world so he doesn’t have to put his arse where commoners might have been???
Is this classed as hate speech?

FrauPaige · 04/10/2025 10:19

Crowde · 04/10/2025 09:09

Nowhere did I mention Islam, nor did I single out any particular religion. Accusing me for targeting Muslims is a great way to obfuscate and derail the discussion though. My concern is about values and attitude people are raised with and whether those norms align with the standards we expect in the UK.

I personally wouldn’t want to see people immigrating en masse from the central strip of India which is a region that remains deeply patriarchal and where women are often treated appallingly. That isn’t an attack on Indians, it’s a recognition of the reality that some areas are still socially regressive and resistant to change.

My point is simple: it’s naive to think that people who have been socialised in environments where women are systematically devalued can just arrive here and immediately adopt liberal, egalitarian values. Cultural conditioning doesn’t dissolve at border control. And pretending otherwise is both dishonest and dangerous.

If someone, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh or otherwise, holds backward, misogynistic views, they have no place coming to the UK.

Thank you for the confirmation.

So, you think your family shouldn't be here?