Fall out with DP - rat comment

[bluemoons3]

Hoping for honest answers here - even if it means I am being unreasonable!

Me (F34 chatterbox) and DP (M38 fairly quiet) were watching tv this evening & as our show ended we were joking about me being a chatterbox and I said if I was as quiet as him we would have a very quiet life, he said “that would be bliss” we’re both cuddled up and joking around at this point as this is often something we laugh about. He then sat up a bit and said exactly this “your mouth is moving like a rat yap yap yap”
It really took me back and it clearly showed in my face, and I just was like what on earth does that mean.
he then got all defensive saying it’s a quote from a comedian I’ve never heard of talking about someone talking a lot, “all over TikTok” and why the hell am I acting like he’s said something so bad.
i told him I’ve never heard of that, or the man who said it and to me being referred to as having a mouth like a rat sounds extremely offensive & I didn’t like the comment.
he stormed out the room & is now giving me the silent treatment.

am i in the wrong here because i don’t know the quote, or even still what it means or does he have a right to be acting pissed off that it offended me a bit?

This, all of it is scripted - that’s his job. It’s acting.

He actually got famous because of taking the mick out of ‘road man’ culture with the ‘man’s not hot’ song. So just a little context towards the misogyny comments - he’s mostly been basing his sketches on young (road)men. This particular sketch if you watch the whole video is based on a stereotypical “uncle” character. The phrase ‘your mouth is moving like a rat’ is a 13s clip taken out of a 5min video.

The video isn’t funny though is it?? It’s a man, telling a woman, to ‘shut it’! I’ve seen it all over social media and can’t understand why/how people find it funny!

OP, your DH is a rude twat!

There is nothing more annoying that being with someone that won't keep quiet. OP, you need to understand that when someone talks, talks, talks eventually the voice becomes background static white noise, which is truly grating.
Just because you haven't heart about the Tiktok comedian poking fun at people like you, it does not mean that your partner made that up. Just ask him to show you the reel and maybe you can laugh at it.
It is important you realise that people are entitled to have an opinion about how they feel about your constant talking, especially if this is your partner!

Ooh, get you.
OK, without that word:
OP seems like to like to joke around and rib with her partner but doesn't like getting it back.

This.

The rat comment is a red herring here. The fact he stormed off and gave you the silent treatment is the bigger issue. You didn’t have context and didn’t know he was quoting something. You weren’t in on his joke. Rather than calmly get you in on the joke and assure you that he understood yes, without his context it might be alarming and offensive; he chose to get angry at you for having any feelings.

He made it about himself and about how you made him feel like a bad guy and he is now punishing you for it? Nah. Not having that

I watched the video. I didn't laugh.

‘Normal grown ups’. Comedy evolves… the way we consume comedy has evolved. Language has evolved… it’s really not fair to call a generation abnormal because they don’t consume entertainment in the same way you do.

Humour is subjective. I think it’s funny because of how he delivers it and because it’s just nonsensical silliness.

That’s fine, not every comedian is for everyone. I don’t laugh at Micky Flanagan or Al Murray but a lot of people would.

Mrs Browns Boys is, as ever, the touchstone that proves humour is not universal. Some people think MBB is comedy gold. Others want to throw bricks through the screen. Nothing is 'just funny.'

Except Peep Show, obv.

The context of the video IS funny (just pretend it's Steve Coogan being Alan Partridge).
And your partner was just quoting it harmlessly.
Imagine saying "Smell my cheese!" And then your partner getting really upset and confused and making out like you're some dickhead for just quoting something playfully.

Probably best make a joke of it because you did act like a bit of a drylord.

Funnily enough, I've heard Sally Phillips in interview saying she gets annoyed when people (online) say she unintentionally laughs during scenes with Partridge.
She says "I'm an actor, I'm acting" yet people think she can't control herself, just like people think the women in the car are offended.

I’m really not sure where you get that from the OP 😂😂😂

I mean if the OP was so annoying because she talks so much, I’d bet 1- her dh wouldn’t have married her, 2- they wouldn’t be joking around about it like this

The subject itself says ‘Not Funny’

Okay?

Humour is subjective. Just because you don’t find it funny doesn’t mean nobody else does.

@bluemoons3 the issue here is tge way your dh reacted. The fact he is now giving you the silent treatment because you didn’t get his joke.

THAT is a big issue.
Theres no reason to ever give anyone the silent treatment.
Whether a joke is funny or not is not here nor there. Whether you know about it isnt either.
Your dh, at the very least, needs to grow up and aplogise for said silent treatment.

Right? When do rats’ mouths’ move.

I actually think it's funnier that people watched the whole 5 minutes, still thought it was real, felt aggrieved for the women in the back and came here to say how terribly misogynistic the man is! 🤣

I do think comedy (and satire in particular) isn't for everyone... especially on here.

It’s been mixed into a drum and bass song too

I wouldn’t be upset if you are otherwise happy with him. However my non chatty DH has got grumpier as time has gone on and I find it draining.

That’s the whole point though.
Because you or someone else finds it funny doesn’t mean everyone is. Or that the OP has to.

Her dh has no right to then get upset if she doesn’t. Nor to give her the silent treatment because she has a different sense of humour .

And you’d accept the silent treatment too?? You wouldn’t be upset about that?

The bar is very low

The thing is, I agree in principle.

But to jump up and say ‘I am offended, what do you mean!!! I’ve never seen that video I am extremely offended’ when he’s told her it’s a comedy sketch. What was OPs response? Did she go oh okay thanks for clarifying, or show me the video let’s see, or did she act like he’s just shot her kitten? I mean, I’d probably remove myself from that situation. By OPs updates sounds like he just took himself off to bed tbh.

Nah she didn't get the joke, and made her partner feel like a dickhead about it. I think he was upset because she has completely misunderstood him, and possibly his entire character, if she thinks he would actually ever refer to her as a rat.

I'd be hurt if my partner thought I was capable of being purposely nasty to him, and then told off for it, and been expected to apologise for something completely innocent... He obviously felt shamed by her.

And yes I might well get up and leave the room.

It’s hilarious 🤣