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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

863 replies

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:48

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

OP posts:
SugarBrown · 02/10/2025 21:52

“I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.”

wtf

VikaOlson · 02/10/2025 21:53

I would speak to the teacher and find out what happened.

But if the teacher needed to do something and was very clearly telling the class not to disturb her, and immediately a child disturbs her with what sounds like quite a cheeky response, I can understand them being told off.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/10/2025 21:54

They were being told to be quiet.
Arguing with the teacher’s choice of words is inappropriate- and especially inappropriate when you’ve been instructed to be quiet, an from the sounds of it more than once.

The problem is what’s ok in individual interactions isn’t ok in big groups. It’s unmanageable. Part of school is learning what’s appropriate in different situations. This was very, very inappropriate.

Original poster
partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:54

That’s a big concern of mine as well. Why say that? I’ve been hearing lots of “we have to sit in silence” and he seems generally unhappy with school where he loved it before the summer holidays. It’s making me really sad.

OP posts:
SugarBrown · 02/10/2025 21:54

could possibly understand a comment like that said in a jokey way to older kids but to 6 year olds???

Galdownunder · 02/10/2025 21:55

Kid was being a smart arse. Possibly won't do that again.

WalnutsAndFigs · 02/10/2025 21:56

Well he was being a smart arse wasn't he
It's very hard to know how much children embellish so I don't think anyone here can say for sure if the teacher was appropriately firm or figuratively transformed into a fire breathing monster

Makemineacosmo · 02/10/2025 21:56

You literally have no idea of context here. Anything could have been happening. My son came home once telling me a not dissimilar tale and it transpired that he had been acting out in the middle of a fire drill. I 100% supported the teacher.

Original poster
partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:56

I would benefit from hearing from the teacher as DS is very sensitive especially around shouting so I’m hoping what he describes as a two minute long rant whilst he sobs and apologises wasn’t as horrible as that. But he seems very distressed by it so something has happened.

OP posts:
Hulabalu · 02/10/2025 21:57

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:54

That’s a big concern of mine as well. Why say that? I’ve been hearing lots of “we have to sit in silence” and he seems generally unhappy with school where he loved it before the summer holidays. It’s making me really sad.

I’d have a word with the teacher about how upset son has been . She may be kinder to them in future

Bertielong3 · 02/10/2025 21:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

RaininSummer · 02/10/2025 21:57

He was a bit cheeky and wrong. All the teacher probably meant was get on with your work and no silly interruptions.

Notinhampshirenow · 02/10/2025 21:57

Please have a calm chat with the teacher. She was probably doing small group work which - if you are interrupted every 30 secs with trivial concerns - is quite annoying and detrimental to your small group.

SugarBrown · 02/10/2025 21:57

I think the fact he is also very unhappy now vs before (has he gone up to year 2 from year 1) is something that needs to be gotten to the bottom of. He should not be that distressed

ThejoyofNC · 02/10/2025 21:57

Why are you angry that they're being taught how to sit in silence and behave? Your son made a smart arsed comment and blatantly disobeyed the instructions he was given, of course he was told off. Maybe next time he will do as he's told.

Hattieandcake · 02/10/2025 21:57

Ask the teacher but it was probably the straw that broke the camels back - constant back chat in group setting with limited learning time for each part of the day deserves reprimanding.

Original poster
partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:58

I would be happier if I could be reassured that he was being a smart arse and got a deserved ticking off. I’d rather that than worry about disproportionate reactions from teachers who can’t keep their tempers. Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?

OP posts:
Thegreyhound · 02/10/2025 21:58

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:54

That’s a big concern of mine as well. Why say that? I’ve been hearing lots of “we have to sit in silence” and he seems generally unhappy with school where he loved it before the summer holidays. It’s making me really sad.

Because sometimes students have to work in silence! So everyone can concentrate! And learn! Silence is fine

JetSkiRentals · 02/10/2025 21:58

I imagine the class was being repeatedly disruptive hence the warning of needing to be quiet. He was cheeky and needs to learn that was an inside thought.

HiCandles · 02/10/2025 21:59

Rude of him but I can understand how a 6yo wouldn't see that. Massive overreaction of the shouting teacher, though presumably things were already going badly wrong with behaviour and chatting for the first teacher to have made that remark in the first place.

CopperWhite · 02/10/2025 21:59

Don’t you remember children occasionally crying from being told off by a teacher when you were a child? I do! It was not at all uncommon.

The child was rude, and calling out when they knew they weee not supposed to. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what the teacher did. We can complain about standards of behaviour in schools slipping at the same time as complaining about teachers disciplining children.

VikaOlson · 02/10/2025 22:00

partytimed · 02/10/2025 21:58

I would be happier if I could be reassured that he was being a smart arse and got a deserved ticking off. I’d rather that than worry about disproportionate reactions from teachers who can’t keep their tempers. Is what he said really rude though and not just a literal exploration of what the teacher has said?

Why is he making a literal exploration of what the teacher has said when he has just been told not to disturb her unless it's an emergency?

A long rant at a sobbing 6 year old does sound pretty unlikely though. Even shouty primary school teachers don't tend to rant.

ThankYouNigel · 02/10/2025 22:00

YABU - it’s cheeky, unnecessary back chat.

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 02/10/2025 22:01

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/10/2025 21:54

They were being told to be quiet.
Arguing with the teacher’s choice of words is inappropriate- and especially inappropriate when you’ve been instructed to be quiet, an from the sounds of it more than once.

The problem is what’s ok in individual interactions isn’t ok in big groups. It’s unmanageable. Part of school is learning what’s appropriate in different situations. This was very, very inappropriate.

The key word there is LEARNING. He's 5, shouting at him is not teaching.

stomachamelon · 02/10/2025 22:01

How do you know he sobbed and apologised for two minutes? Where they his exact words?