Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

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My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

6 year olds tend to be very literal, perhaps he was not being cheeky? Even if he was I think teacher is being over the top by shouting. Her original comment was a typical teacher instruction though and quite normal just like 6 years old being literal and sensitive

What are you talking about I'm basing my answer on the information we have I've not once said op ds isn't lying or missing out vital information. But im also not going to create a whole other version of events to slag of a 6 year old

Rude of him but I can understand how a 6yo wouldn't see that.

Exactly - I sometimes call a sandal a shoe for instance and my similar aged DD would shout out "it's a sandal!"

I couldn't imagine losing my temper with a 6 year old over something like that.

He was being a smart arse and fair enough that the teacher should pull him up on that, but they should not be shouting, never mind shouting for a prolonged period (if this is actually what happened).

Cheeky, yes, but to me 'smart arsed' has harsher, more calculated connotations. I just don't like the labelling of 6 year olds as smart-arsed.

He was rude. Whether he intended to be rude is another matter. But if he’s not pulled for it now, what’s he going to be like when he’s older?

That's actually very insightful for a 6 year old.
Sounds like an intelligent young lad!
Im pretty sure a firm " please be quiet and listen" would have sufficed, rather than a full on rant. He's 6 FFS, not 16

This! Being constantly interrupted at a teacher is beyond irritating for the teacher and the class. It interrupts the flow of the leading and sometimes you need to tell the children enough is enough.

This!

Definitely talk to the teacher. This board is so ridiculous. Guarantee that if OP had said she was the one who was shouting, they would be falling over themselves calling her a verbal abuser and demanding SS step in.

No, but 6 is the average age for boys with autism to really start showing it because the school environment is far more socially complex than home or nursery.

There is now!

Do you know other parents from the class or school you can ask about what their children are saying? I find that if more than one child is telling parents the same things then they are usually right something is going on. I personally like to gather as much info from others as possible because, and I know others will not like this, teachers do lie! I’ve witnessed it so many times.

I don’t think he would be as upset as he was tonight over a firm rebuke. I think something more happened. To be clear the teacher who shouted was not the one who issued the instruction it was a teacher who had just entered the room so I’m assuming not at the end of her rope from perhaps asking the class to be quiet etc.

Also I genuinely appreciate the insights offered but there is no suspected ASD or SEN.

You might feel differently if you were in a room with 30+ of them constantly pecking

That entirely depends on whether his parent asks for a meeting every time he’s told off.

Agree! The class had probably been telling tales incessantly all day and this disrupts the learning so much.

sounds like a disproportionate response from a teacher to rant at 6-7 year olds at a comment which I don’t think is that bad. He wasn’t rude but just pointing out that he didn’t see the difference between a pain and injury so maybe he takes everything literally and thought she might explain. If he isn’t enjoying school I would have a chat with the teacher. I think teachers are under massive pressure but surely our children should be enjoying school and learning? Some comments on here are unbelievable. Maybe the teacher thought he was being cheeky even if he didn’t mean It to come across that way. I expect he will be frightened to say anything in the future so the teacher has cowered him into submission. Not conducive to a good education environment.

Putting aside whether it was a reasonable request, it was mildly cheeky of him to say that, but extremely inappropriate of a teacher to shout at him about it. One of those people is a six year old child and one of them is an adult in charge of children. So, not ok.

I couldn’t agree more.

My son has just turned 7. I’m on every school run and regularly volunteer in his school. I see many 6 year olds at the park, at birthday parties, at local sports clubs, etc. I’m also a teacher.

I regularly witness 6 year olds lying, exaggerating, blaming other children on purpose, pinning other children down and punching them, describing women in misogynistic terms, swearing, mocking other children and adults. They know exactly what they are doing and that their parents will believe their lies and never have them in the wrong.

Parents need to wise up! My son’s school thankfully is zero tolerance and swiftly sends them out of the classroom. If they cry, good- they have a conscience and are finally learning right from wrong.

Children often now interpret a basic no, a cross/raised/assertive voice and tone as ‘shouting’ because some unfortunately have never been told no at home. That’s their parent’s fault if they arrive at school with no idea how to behave and little resilience. They’ve done them a huge disservice.

Yes - 100% guaranteed. Save the questions for home time.

I wasn’t there, obviously, but sadly some teachers are just bullies.

Yes, even if he was 100% being cheeky, I’d expect a teacher of that age group to simply respond “Don’t be cheeky, get on with your work.” It’s calling out the behaviour without shouting or being over the top.

Maybe she’ll only ask for a meeting when he’s yelled at vs told off.

If he's struggling more broadly with the teachers' approach and it's making him anxious about school, that's definitely worth asking for a chat. You need more information about his general behaviour in school, and they need to know how he's feeling. Nobody wants a six year old anxious about going to school.

About this incident, at best he didn't follow a clear instruction. Even if he thinks pain and injury are the same, it doesn't make the instruction unclear, just repetitive. Given his level of upset, I might ask the teacher what happened, but it's very likely – not guaranteed, but very likely – it's become exaggerated in his mind. You can help him reframe it whilst still acknowledging that it felt very loud and very long because he was upset and embarrassed.