Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

@FloatingFlowerthank you I hope it is as straightforward as this. Just wish I could have witnessed it to see it play out. I have no issue at all with a firm telling off, what I would have an issue with is over the top aggression or shouting. So hard to know.

Yeah sorry the whole class were told be to quiet.

he wasn’t quiet and was nitpicking at the teacher. There’s a time and a place for that sort of thing and when the teacher has just told everyone to be quiet isn’t it.

tell him not to argue with the teacher.

Even if he didn't intend to be rude or cheeky, his comment was inappropriate and he should have been following the teacher's instructions so it was right that he was corrected.

It does sound like he's a sensitive child who felt unfairly treated so the incident has become somewhat more serious in his mind over the day.

There is no was the teacher was bellowing at him for a whole two minutes while he sobbed. Absolutely didn’t happen.

I think there shouldn't be shouting and long telling off for minor things for a 6 year.old.

My adult neighbour was.telling me her youngest has now got the shouty.teacher and she's expecting lots of tears from her kid as she did with her previous two. I personally don't think small children should be shouted at like that bar in emergencies IE to stop someone running into a road, doing something dangerous etc.

In fact often when working with children it's more effective to lower your voice.so they have to be quiet to listen to you.

Some children are very literal, I can't say for certain whether your child is one of those or if he was genuinely being cheeky. Yes he does need to be taught how to interact with adults in positions of authority but he shouldn't generally be traumatised because of it.

The child does sound a bit pert and cheeky. However, the teacher shouldn't be talking to 6 year olds like that. Sounds like she's in the wrong job.

It's never right to shout at children. Teachers know that. Speak calmly to the teacher and ask if she can explain why your DS was so upset.

You were not in the classroom.
You did not see what happened.

Yet you, a grown adult, are willing to believe that a trained dedicated professional with a teaching vocation has acted so badly and completely disproportionately on the say so of a six year old and you are happy come onto a public forum looking for people to back you up about how awful the teacher is.

This is why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

Exactly, this is so laughable. Child is cheeky, op is furious, yet she didn’t even speak to the teacher! Says it all

It reminds me of the things a young Sheldon would have said in The Big Bang theory, not realising he was being rude.

It’s the middle of a lesson, not time to argue the semantics of a clear instruction. “I don’t want to hear from you” doesn’t mean, “unless you need to clarify the exact meaning of my utterance”.

I can’t stand shouty teachers and I’ve been teaching for 20 years.
It sounds as if the teacher was frustrated and probably snapped slightly. Your child might have been a smart-arse or they might have been seeking clarity (which is extremely common among neurodivergent children). You need to find out what actually happened; was your child being disruptive and got a firm taking to or were they berated and shouted at? Kids often say shouted when they mean “raised their voice to be heard over 30 children”. Speak to the school but go in with an open mind.

Could be a literal thinking thing, which would explain why he was so upset. His reaction suggests he wasn't intending to be rude or cheeky.

My DS once got yelled at by a barber because he asked why it said both "boys" and "youths" on the prices board. The barber thought he was being cheeky. He was actually literally asking why both words were there because he's autistic.

There simply isn't time for children to continually put up their hands and give their general thoughts on whatever you've said. Sometimes as soon as you open your mouth to speak to the class, the same child will always put up their hand with a vaguely related anecdote or musing. In a social setting it would be lovely, but it disrupts the flow of the lesson and takes time away from learning.

Your child's question was wholly unnecessary, even if not rude. Shouting (if it happened) was not the correct reaponse but I would have firmly pointed out that was exactly the sort of thing we don't need to be asking when there is a task to be completed.

Your son made a silly comment and probably didn’t like being told off.

I still remember being told off by a teacher at that age. Kids have an elevated sense of injustice, it doesn’t mean the teacher was necessarily mean.

He did need to be told off though. He needs to learn what’s cute to his parents isn’t cite for the teacher.

It seems that teachers these days are not allowed to do anything that may cause hurt feelings, even though a child is in the wrong.
The result is children who think the world revolves around them and a lack of resilience when they don’t get their own way.

He’s 6 not 16 … I.d be going in to have a word with the teacher … it was not age appropriate at all

Plenty of 6 year olds are capable of smart arsed comments!

Context is everything though and you’re not going to get that from a 6YO’s account. It does sound like he spoke out of turn, was rude and answering back. What lead up to the teacher saying that you don’t know. If she shouted shouted or just used a stern voice you don’t know either because kids over simplify. Honestly it doesn’t matter. The takeaway should be that he should actually follow instructions in future. And maybe also tell him that of course there are scenarios where you cam be injured but not in pain- nosebleeds for instance and some broken bones in young kids can sometimes just feel and look ‘funny’.

Meanwhile …no maths was done. But hey ho. Whatever.

The teacher sounds nasty but equally I’d expect a 6 year old to be able to read the room a little and to know their place. I have a very lively cheeky 6 year old at home but at school he wouldn’t back chat like your child did.

I think if he was 16 I'd say he was being a smartass and I'd agree with the teacher at 6 I think he's done nothing wrong and the teachers are being mean

OP, you came here for an opinion and already several commenters have diagnosed your DS with autism on the basis of one small incident. You should ask for a meeting and request an autism referral.

Stop making excuses for your child’s behaviour,life is going to be hard for him if you are not disciplining him properly.Teach him to sit still and be quiet in class.

It's not normal (or shouldn't be). If course it may not have happened exactly as your son describes, but definitely worth clarifying with the teacher.