Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

Most kids say they were yelled at when they were told off.

He is 6 ....

In the 70s and 80s we were routinely roared at in primary school. No one was bothered, because it was the norm. Teachers are more gentle nowadays, but they’re only human.

Yes exactly. I don't think children should be shouted at, especially for innocuous comments. I also don't think the vast majority of teachers want to upset children. I also think children can sometimes get the wrong end of the stick.

You just need to talk to the school and find out what actually happened and how you can work together to help him enjoy school.

This is true.

He is 6 years old. I’m shocked that some posters think the teacher’s attitude is acceptable.

Is it better if we say he was cheeky? He was still perceived as being rude and disrespectful.

I wonder how many times the teacher had already asked them to be quiet and stop interrupting...

I don’t think a teacher requesting their class to be quiet and only ask for attention in an emergency equates to them being sarcastic 🤷🏻‍♀️

You don't have to "ask for a meeting" ffs. Just a 5 minute chat at the school gate.

Even if your ds was being cheeky, it seems excessive to continue shouting at a child who's sobbing.

It also seems an excessive way to tell the class to be quiet.

The teacher doesn't sound very experienced if they can't handle a child making a comment like that..

My ds who's autistic would (and still does) say things like that because be wanted to make sure he understood or wanted to be clear on something. It can come across as rude but it's his way of understanding and categorising information.

A teacher did this to my son in year 4, the teacher was known for being a twat and had an awful reputation.
he turned my son into a wreck, a kid who loved school for 4 years to a kids who was crying and literally being dragged into school. Some teachers are just twats

Sounds like a throw-back to the "children should be seen and not heard" days, and the teacher's angry response sounds deranged.

Altogether disturbing and I'd be looking at whether this is a suitable environment for young children.

Best response here.

Massive generalisation. I was in primary then and had fantastic non-roaring teachers.

I’m a teacher. If there is no SEN and this isn’t him being unable to control being “literal,” then he was very cheeky and deserved a telling off. Also, no, in pain and injured are not the same thing . You can be in pain from a headache or stomachache but not be injured. You can have a bleeding knee injury and need a plaster but not be in significant pain. So he’s corrected the teacher while being incorrect himself, trying to look like a smart arse. And as with so many other parents of this current school age generation, your concern is that someone told him off. Not the fact that he was rude in the first place. The teachers original wording I’m assuming was a variant on “don’t disturb me unless it’s an emergency,” which I use several times a day in order to deliver small group support to children who need it while the others are supposed to be quietly on task.

So are all the rest of the class though and parents would be raging if the teacher failed to follow the curriculum or change the reading books because the day was spent with children chatting to each other and asking the teacher inane questions.
There has to be an element of crowd control when the teacher has 30 6 year olds in a class.

If ten parents want a 5 minute chat at the school gate, that’s 50 minutes at the school gate for the teacher. Just let them do their jobs for goodness’ sake.

@SummerFeverVenice my DS1 (and me) would have both asked similar at the same age. DS1 was often in trouble in year 1 for being rude but not really understanding why.

@partytimed hopefully he has just had a big reaction due to tiredness, its nearly the end of the week.

If you can't manage that without shouting at a child then you shouldn't be teaching. I'm talking about shouting at an individual child, not raising your voice to a whole class, which is sometimes needed to get through to them.

Working in a school i don’t think there is a day that goes by where a child doesn't say something inappropriate/cheeky. We deal with it and move on however i do not know any staff who would berate a child to tears for a cheeky/rude comment like this. I find it totally laughable on here though that as soon as a child makes a mistake or is rude they are being classed as neurodivergent. Speak to your wee one, have a quiet, calm chat out of earshot of any children with the teacher and you will probably find the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Sadly I’m not surprised by the replies on here - if a teacher ‘is at the end of their tether’ and this is somehow a legitimate reason to then shout at a small child, then maybe they need to rethink their career path! No way is it ok to shout at a child for goodness sake. Surely we are way past the days when teachers were allowed to dominate small children.

I can still remember an incident from when I was 6 or 7 (I’m now nearly 55!) - I really liked my teacher, thoroughly enjoyed school and we were playing bingo. She asked us to swap our bingo cards within our group and in my head I wanted to say, ‘Is it ok if we don’t swap, is that an option’ but I actually said, ‘I want to keep mine.’ So of course my teacher replied, ‘Well I don’t care what you want to do, I’ve told you to swap.’ I struggled not to cry, but was very hurt and felt misunderstood and wrongly told off - so I feel your son, at just 6, could be feeling exactly this way. Please find out what happened by all means but do not accept that it’s ever ok for any other adult to shout at your child in this way.

My kids went to a supposedly 'outstanding' primary and I once volunteered in my youngest's year 2 class. I witnessed a teacher have an absolutely shocking shouty rant at a boy who had been rude to a classmate. Fine tell him off but this was so over the top that he ended up heartbroken and sobbing 'I want my mummy' 😞. It was so bad I considered complaining.

My son is now friendly with this boy at College and he is autistic and very socially awkward. Still regret not doing something about it.

So why didn't the teacher answer his question and explain the difference instead of shouting at him

It's shocking.
I guess with class sizes as big as they are - its harder to get things done in the allotted timeframe and there is reduced space/patience for kids to be kids.