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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?

1000 replies

TheAvidAmberPeer · 01/10/2025 21:09

I know this is a sensitive topic but I’ve been thinking about how justice systems handle trans women who commit serious crimes, especially violent or sexual offences, and whether it’s fair to house them in women’s prisons. To me, if you were born male and commit a crime typically associated with male offenders, particularly one involving violence against women, it seems like common sense that you should serve time in a male facility. Identity doesn’t erase biology or risk in those cases.

AIBU to think fairness and safety, especially for vulnerable female prisoners, should come before ideology?

OP posts:
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sanluca · 05/10/2025 11:53

I also always wonder why the push to say biological sex is complicated and nobody know who is a man and who is a woman, why not push to do away with these words? If they are complicated and based on feelings and 'you just know' they have zero added value in society. So lets get rid of them. But that's not the demand. The demand is that we keep segregated healthcare and prisons and sports and changing rooms, but then segregated on meaningless words so that some male people can use them whether the female people like it or not.
@tandora,why?

Tandora · 05/10/2025 11:56

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:51

Why are you attributing another person's words to me?

I wasn't attributing those words to you, but you have repeatedly accused me of saying supposedly "egregious" things, but you completely fail to acknowledge the much more evidently egregious things said by others.

It's pretty clear that your accusations haven't got anything to do with being offended by people saying egregious things, it's simply your best attempt at silencing people who disagree with you - by trying to undermine the person.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:58

Haha nice try. I don’t care what other people say to you. I haven’t paid all that much attention. Address my points to me, and theirs to them.

Ive been perfectly clear about your lack of empathy in my own words.

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 11:58

sanluca · 05/10/2025 11:53

I also always wonder why the push to say biological sex is complicated and nobody know who is a man and who is a woman, why not push to do away with these words? If they are complicated and based on feelings and 'you just know' they have zero added value in society. So lets get rid of them. But that's not the demand. The demand is that we keep segregated healthcare and prisons and sports and changing rooms, but then segregated on meaningless words so that some male people can use them whether the female people like it or not.
@tandora,why?

So if no one knows who isa man or a woman, how can trans identified males be so convinced they are women? I have asked TRAs this many times and never had an answer.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:59

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 11:58

So if no one knows who isa man or a woman, how can trans identified males be so convinced they are women? I have asked TRAs this many times and never had an answer.

Me too.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:59

It’s just one of the many mysterious paradoxes of gender identity ideology.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 12:01

sanluca · 05/10/2025 11:53

I also always wonder why the push to say biological sex is complicated and nobody know who is a man and who is a woman, why not push to do away with these words? If they are complicated and based on feelings and 'you just know' they have zero added value in society. So lets get rid of them. But that's not the demand. The demand is that we keep segregated healthcare and prisons and sports and changing rooms, but then segregated on meaningless words so that some male people can use them whether the female people like it or not.
@tandora,why?

Put very simply, the issue is this.

You think that by acknowledging that sex is complicated, people are saying that it doesn't exist (therefore, we must "do away with these words"!)

But things can be both complicated and diverse, and also be real and exist at the same time. It's not a case of all or nothing.

Sex is real. Sex matters. Sex is also a complex, multi-dimensional, developmental process, and the outcomes of that process are more diverse than those produced by a theory/ model that presumes that sex is binary, fixed and pre-determined at conception.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 12:02

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:58

Haha nice try. I don’t care what other people say to you. I haven’t paid all that much attention. Address my points to me, and theirs to them.

Ive been perfectly clear about your lack of empathy in my own words.

I'm certainly not the one experiencing a serious empathy fail. All one has to do is read your posts about trans people in general and DU in particular to see who that is.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:03

Yes, you are the one experiencing an empathy fail, as countless posters have told you, on this thread and many others.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 12:03

Argh I'm getting distracted again. I'm supposed to be reading/ commenting on a paper not arguing with ATRAs on mumsnet.

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 12:05

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 11:59

It’s just one of the many mysterious paradoxes of gender identity ideology.

Oh definitely. It’s funny some posters claim sex is so complicated, but still, there’s only two sexes, sex is binary and immutable and males can never become women. This may upset them but frankly I don’t care. I do care about the women and girl harmed by this pernicious ideology though and I am so glad the SC ruling will hopefully show a small return to sanity.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:06

Of course. We wouldn’t want to deprive the researcher in question of your academic and intellectual brillance.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:07

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 12:05

Oh definitely. It’s funny some posters claim sex is so complicated, but still, there’s only two sexes, sex is binary and immutable and males can never become women. This may upset them but frankly I don’t care. I do care about the women and girl harmed by this pernicious ideology though and I am so glad the SC ruling will hopefully show a small return to sanity.

Bit by bit, it is returning, I think. There will be more darkness before the dawn though, I imagine.

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 12:08

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:07

Bit by bit, it is returning, I think. There will be more darkness before the dawn though, I imagine.

We do have a long way to go. The TRAs have a lot to lose. And people will have to deal with the fact they have caused so much harm to children and women.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:16

They’re becoming more unhinged in their echo chambers. Look at these tantrums on BlueSky because the CEO made a joke when they demanded he expel liberal commentator Jesse Singal, who has written extremely mild criticism of child gender medicine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlockedAndReported/comments/1nxwsu8/drama_abounds_as_ceo_of_bluesky_responds_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/10/2025 12:20

Tandora · 05/10/2025 12:01

Put very simply, the issue is this.

You think that by acknowledging that sex is complicated, people are saying that it doesn't exist (therefore, we must "do away with these words"!)

But things can be both complicated and diverse, and also be real and exist at the same time. It's not a case of all or nothing.

Sex is real. Sex matters. Sex is also a complex, multi-dimensional, developmental process, and the outcomes of that process are more diverse than those produced by a theory/ model that presumes that sex is binary, fixed and pre-determined at conception.

But sex is determined at conception. We know this because they are able to determine the sex of a
blastocyst 5 days after conception where sex determination is required in IVF to avoid genetic complications.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 12:33

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/10/2025 12:20

But sex is determined at conception. We know this because they are able to determine the sex of a
blastocyst 5 days after conception where sex determination is required in IVF to avoid genetic complications.

No - we are able to determine the Karyotype of a blastocyst 5 days after conception - XX or XY. Karyotype kicks off the developmental process, but the developmental process is complex and processual and not simply determined by karyotype.

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 12:52

InfoSecInTheCity · 05/10/2025 12:20

But sex is determined at conception. We know this because they are able to determine the sex of a
blastocyst 5 days after conception where sex determination is required in IVF to avoid genetic complications.

its amazing what science can do. It blows a hole in the whole “observed at birth” guff. I mean, are these people accusing sonographers of just guessing the sex at scans? I mean the fact transpeople only ever claim to be one of the two sexes kind of reinforces the fact even they know sex is binary. And the fact they claim to have transitioned also shows they do know their sex, they just believe (wrongly) that humans can change sex. I am using male, female and sex here in the widely accepted way of defining these words,not weird jumbo jumbo Freeman on the land definitions. I do see a lot of similarities between some TRA and the FOTL. They both try to relay on semantics and pseudo intellectual gubbins to try to prove their points.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 12:53

I agree, I think someone else made a very similar comparison @Namelessnelly

tigger1001 · 05/10/2025 13:01

sanluca · 05/10/2025 11:47

You don't find it wrong that a male doctor complained about being called son by a patient with dementia? Did Upton really consider that worthy of a complaint? Talk about putting your feelings above the needs of patients...

Exactly!

and clearly not the marking of a good doctor. A good doctor is one who puts their feelings aside in order to do what's best for their patient. Not one who complained about being called "son".

I can imagine many other health care professionals just shook their head at that and thought "is that it?" Many will have been called much worse

Tandora · 05/10/2025 13:11

tigger1001 · 05/10/2025 13:01

Exactly!

and clearly not the marking of a good doctor. A good doctor is one who puts their feelings aside in order to do what's best for their patient. Not one who complained about being called "son".

I can imagine many other health care professionals just shook their head at that and thought "is that it?" Many will have been called much worse

This is simply you having zero insight/ understanding of what it is to be trans. That's all.

DU was experiencing something very personally difficult for her at work, she was asking for support from management around that, nothing wrong with that, entirely appropriate, and no impact on the patient in question of her doing so. So nothing to do with not considering the needs of the patient.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 13:12

Namelessnelly · 05/10/2025 12:52

its amazing what science can do. It blows a hole in the whole “observed at birth” guff. I mean, are these people accusing sonographers of just guessing the sex at scans? I mean the fact transpeople only ever claim to be one of the two sexes kind of reinforces the fact even they know sex is binary. And the fact they claim to have transitioned also shows they do know their sex, they just believe (wrongly) that humans can change sex. I am using male, female and sex here in the widely accepted way of defining these words,not weird jumbo jumbo Freeman on the land definitions. I do see a lot of similarities between some TRA and the FOTL. They both try to relay on semantics and pseudo intellectual gubbins to try to prove their points.

waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 13:15

Bit like your fascinating posts about “the trans experience” @Tandora

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 13:20

tigger1001 · 05/10/2025 13:01

Exactly!

and clearly not the marking of a good doctor. A good doctor is one who puts their feelings aside in order to do what's best for their patient. Not one who complained about being called "son".

I can imagine many other health care professionals just shook their head at that and thought "is that it?" Many will have been called much worse

Yes, exactly. Upton appears extremely histrionic about perceived slights. Another pointer to a personality disorder which would make him unsuitable to work with vulnerable service users.

Tandora · 05/10/2025 13:31

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/10/2025 13:15

Bit like your fascinating posts about “the trans experience” @Tandora

Not really no. Those are clear, logical and grounded in evidence.
I understand you see this differently, however,

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