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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?

1000 replies

TheAvidAmberPeer · 01/10/2025 21:09

I know this is a sensitive topic but I’ve been thinking about how justice systems handle trans women who commit serious crimes, especially violent or sexual offences, and whether it’s fair to house them in women’s prisons. To me, if you were born male and commit a crime typically associated with male offenders, particularly one involving violence against women, it seems like common sense that you should serve time in a male facility. Identity doesn’t erase biology or risk in those cases.

AIBU to think fairness and safety, especially for vulnerable female prisoners, should come before ideology?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:56

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:48

Neither are trans people. Why have you nominated yourself to speak on their behalf? You should really start taking your own advice that you keep dishing out. You sit down!

I'm not speaking on trans people's behalf- or making statements about all trans people monolithic opinions on x, y, or z topic/ use of language. Obviously these are diverse.

I'm sharing what I know from my research about trans experience/ what it is to be trans - which I have extensive knowledge about.

Also btw- there is not really a "community" of people with sex variations in the same where as there is with trans people- there isn't the same kind of social organisation and advocacy within this group.- to the extent that there is - it is under the banner of "intersex", so statements such as "they don't like being called this, they want to be called that" are completely inappropriate and false (although gender criticals love to trot out this line in service of their own agenda). Some people feel that way, others very much do not:

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:56

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:52

No, all males. Because height and strength. But keep making a joke out of such a serious issue.

Tandora spent time on a thread yesterday mocking a raped womans trauma response .

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:57

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:56

Tandora spent time on a thread yesterday mocking a raped womans trauma response .

To be clear; this is completely false:

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:58

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:57

To be clear; this is completely false:

It's not.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:59

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:52

No, all males. Because height and strength. But keep making a joke out of such a serious issue.

i didn't find your argument remotely serious.

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 04/10/2025 14:59

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2025 13:59

This is Barbie Khardashian, just released from prison in Ireland. Barbie has a GRC, so it is his legal right in Ireland to use women's sex spaces.

https://m.sundayworld.com/crime/irish-crime/dangerous-sex-offender-barbie-kardashian-is-all-smiles-as-she-walks-free-from-jail/a1415710318.html

But it is apparently 'hate speech' to point out that this man is a threat to women

Freak!!

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 15:00

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:56

I'm not speaking on trans people's behalf- or making statements about all trans people monolithic opinions on x, y, or z topic/ use of language. Obviously these are diverse.

I'm sharing what I know from my research about trans experience/ what it is to be trans - which I have extensive knowledge about.

Also btw- there is not really a "community" of people with sex variations in the same where as there is with trans people- there isn't the same kind of social organisation and advocacy within this group.- to the extent that there is - it is under the banner of "intersex", so statements such as "they don't like being called this, they want to be called that" are completely inappropriate and false (although gender criticals love to trot out this line in service of their own agenda). Some people feel that way, others very much do not:

Edited

Your ‘Extensive knowledge’ = ‘utter shite’.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:00

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:58

It's not.

I mean we can play you're rubber and I'm glue all day if you like.

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 15:01

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:58

It's not.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5420701-a-little-piece-of-insight

This is the thread. Tandora's mocking is on the last few pages.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:03

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 15:01

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5420701-a-little-piece-of-insight

This is the thread. Tandora's mocking is on the last few pages.

Exactly. please do go ahead and read the thread and you will see that @spannasaurus statements are ridiculous and false.

Hurryupwearedreaming · 04/10/2025 15:07

Men who say they’re women must go to male prison. Many types of men can be vulnerable in prison, young men, small men, effeminate men, men with learning difficulties. They don’t get special treatment by the prison service.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:12

Hurryupwearedreaming · 04/10/2025 15:07

Men who say they’re women must go to male prison. Many types of men can be vulnerable in prison, young men, small men, effeminate men, men with learning difficulties. They don’t get special treatment by the prison service.

Many types of men can be vulnerable in prison, young men, small men, effeminate men, men with learning difficulties. They don’t get special treatment by the prison service.

Gross. You think men with learning difficulties shouldn't get "special treatment " by the prison service? Luckily of course they do.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:30

Tandora · 04/10/2025 12:34

Far from "throwing a meaningless slur" I explained how your words are transphobic. They are transphobic because they demonstrate profound ignorance, loathing, contempt, dismissal, disgust, and fear of trans women.
i have no desire to hurt you, but it's important that we name this type of hate speech when we see it.

Let's review again:

"[they] are motivated by a sexual fetish"
"some of those men are dangerous". "Even the ones who aren't a direct danger have no right to use non-consenting women as props to play out their sexual fantasies".
It is not... to fear or feel repulsed by such men.
A man can wear a dress and a wig if he wants to and I'll even call him Nancy, if he insists, but I will never refer to him as she/her or treat him as if he was a woman. And he can stay the fuck out of real women's spaces."

Edited

As you seem to give meanings to words thst no one else recognises, please can you define transphobia. Women saying no to men in female spaces is not transphobia. Refusing to affirm someone’s view of themselves is not transphobia.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:31

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:57

To be clear; this is completely false:

Oooh shall I go and pull the quotes?

GailBlancheViola · 04/10/2025 15:31

Hurryupwearedreaming · 04/10/2025 15:07

Men who say they’re women must go to male prison. Many types of men can be vulnerable in prison, young men, small men, effeminate men, men with learning difficulties. They don’t get special treatment by the prison service.

Vulnerable male prisoners within the male prison estate do get 'special' treatment within that prison estate, as do paedophiles and rapists. What they do not get is moved into the female prison estate for female prisoners to keep them safe and nor should they.

All males, trans or otherwise, can be accommodated perfectly well within the male prison estate. No exceptions.

If a transwomen wing, or indeed a transwomen prison is required provision for that should be made within the male prison estate. Certain prisons within the male prison estate are designated for specific inmates, this is no different.

There is no excuse or justification for ANY male prisoner however they identify to be placed within the confines of the female prison estate, absolutely NONE. The Law on this is crystal clear and must be adhered to.

There is a perfectly simple way for transwomen not to risk being incarcerated and that is not to commit crime, the overwhelming majority of the public manage not to be incarcerated within their lifetimes.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:34

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:03

Exactly. please do go ahead and read the thread and you will see that @spannasaurus statements are ridiculous and false.

Edited

Err no they’re not. You mocked someone by saying if she really needed a female health professional she should say, and that does not include transwomen. The quote was “ and that is only another 7 words so shouldn’t be too much of a burden on you”. So go on. Deny that.

You also said that women were not distressed by having to share spaces with males and that any distress was minimal. Do you really want me to pull the screenshots?

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:35

spannasaurus · 04/10/2025 14:58

It's not.

We’ve got screenshots…. Best thibg about the Internet… it’s forever….

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:40

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:03

Exactly. please do go ahead and read the thread and you will see that @spannasaurus statements are ridiculous and false.

Edited

it isn’t false. I was on the thread start to finish and the first to call it out.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:41

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:59

i didn't find your argument remotely serious.

No one finds your arguments remotely serious either.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:42

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:34

Err no they’re not. You mocked someone by saying if she really needed a female health professional she should say, and that does not include transwomen. The quote was “ and that is only another 7 words so shouldn’t be too much of a burden on you”. So go on. Deny that.

You also said that women were not distressed by having to share spaces with males and that any distress was minimal. Do you really want me to pull the screenshots?

Yeh exactly that has absolutely nothing to do with "mocking a rape victims trauma".

You are being ridiculous . And also manipulative.

I get that you don't like what I have to say about trans issues but there's no excuse for this crap.

Post all the screenshots you want- they will be helpful. There's a link to the thread too with the full context there.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:45

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:11

Are you serious?

they don't actually work, They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

😳🤣.

Absolutely loony, nutty- bongo.

They’re not actually penises, is the salient point here. They’re an artificial copy that fulfils few of the actual functions of a penis.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:45

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:41

No one finds your arguments remotely serious either.

If that were true you wouldn't spend so much of your time attacking me .

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:45

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:42

Yeh exactly that has absolutely nothing to do with "mocking a rape victims trauma".

You are being ridiculous . And also manipulative.

I get that you don't like what I have to say about trans issues but there's no excuse for this crap.

Post all the screenshots you want- they will be helpful. There's a link to the thread too with the full context there.

Edited

They are and were helpful to lurkers.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 15:46

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:42

Yeh exactly that has absolutely nothing to do with "mocking a rape victims trauma".

You are being ridiculous . And also manipulative.

I get that you don't like what I have to say about trans issues but there's no excuse for this crap.

Post all the screenshots you want- they will be helpful. There's a link to the thread too with the full context there.

Edited

The screenshots. They are all from @tandora. They are in response to a rape victim who wanted to know why her trauma and distress were not counted as important.

To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?
To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?
To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?
Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 15:46

Tandora · 04/10/2025 15:45

If that were true you wouldn't spend so much of your time attacking me .

I’m not “attacking you” because I don’t take anything you say seriously. I’m refuting nonsense and fake news.

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