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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?

1000 replies

TheAvidAmberPeer · 01/10/2025 21:09

I know this is a sensitive topic but I’ve been thinking about how justice systems handle trans women who commit serious crimes, especially violent or sexual offences, and whether it’s fair to house them in women’s prisons. To me, if you were born male and commit a crime typically associated with male offenders, particularly one involving violence against women, it seems like common sense that you should serve time in a male facility. Identity doesn’t erase biology or risk in those cases.

AIBU to think fairness and safety, especially for vulnerable female prisoners, should come before ideology?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:08

Elektra1 · 02/10/2025 09:47

“No woman has a penis”? I’m not sure that argument follows the logic adopted by most of the posters on this thread. If a man cannot become a woman by being a trans woman, he remains a man despite dressing and living as a woman. I understand that to be the reasoning of most on this thread. By that reasoning, a woman who becomes a trans man and has a penis created as part of that transition, remains a woman and has a penis.

Transmens penises are cosmetic only. They don't actually work. They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

It's simply not possible for a transwoman to rape with 'it'.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:11

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:08

Transmens penises are cosmetic only. They don't actually work. They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

It's simply not possible for a transwoman to rape with 'it'.

Are you serious?

they don't actually work, They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

😳🤣.

Absolutely loony, nutty- bongo.

EmpressaurusKitty · 04/10/2025 14:12

It’s because some men are dangerous that all men, however they identify, need to stay out of women’s spaces. It can’t be on a case-by-case basis, it has to be a blanket rule.

Decent blokes understand that, & decent transwomen should understand it as well.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:12

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:08

Transmens penises are cosmetic only. They don't actually work. They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

It's simply not possible for a transwoman to rape with 'it'.

If they came up with the technology for faster inflating ones would you revise your position? 😆

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:14

Spiritofeden87 · 02/10/2025 12:22

Really? Because I am not sure I would have known that about Lux Pascal at all walking past on the street.

You do realise photos (and tiktok videos) can be edited. Right? That they are not real? In real life then and there in their presence, though, they don't pass.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:15

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:11

Are you serious?

they don't actually work, They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

😳🤣.

Absolutely loony, nutty- bongo.

Mate, you’ve been flying this loony nutty bongo flag for a while now. Come on 😂.

Anyway, back to dangerous trans women. Are you saying they don’t exist? That there are no dangerous trans women?

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:18

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:15

Mate, you’ve been flying this loony nutty bongo flag for a while now. Come on 😂.

Anyway, back to dangerous trans women. Are you saying they don’t exist? That there are no dangerous trans women?

I mean that was one of the more entertainingly ridiculous trains of logic I've seen presented. Keep penises out of women's prisons- but only the fast inflating ones lol.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:19

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:11

Are you serious?

they don't actually work, They can't rape with it. And it takes a while to artificially inflate it.

😳🤣.

Absolutely loony, nutty- bongo.

You clearly have not done any research on artificial penises. What I am saying is standard common knowledge.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:20

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:19

You clearly have not done any research on artificial penises. What I am saying is standard common knowledge.

Haha, I wasn't disputing your claims about the current technology.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:22

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:18

I mean that was one of the more entertainingly ridiculous trains of logic I've seen presented. Keep penises out of women's prisons- but only the fast inflating ones lol.

Yeah, you seem a bit lost now. It happens when you buy into make believe.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:23

Spiritofeden87 · 02/10/2025 12:43

What about intersex people who make up 1% of the global population? Have they got a particular walk too?

Intersex people are male or female.

So you have no point.

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 04/10/2025 14:24

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:07

Of course this is hate speech. Imagine this conversation was about any other category of person based eg a particular race, nationality, or such like:

"[they] are motivated by a sexual fetish"
"some of those men are dangerous". "Even the ones who aren't a direct danger have no right to use non-consenting women as props to play out their sexual fantasies".
It is not hatred to fear or feel repulsed by such men.
A man can wear a dress and a wig if he wants to and I'll even call him Nancy, if he insists, but I will never refer to him as she/her or treat him as if he was a woman. And he can stay the fuck out of real women's spaces."

Edited

Yeah, I don't think that's hate speech. The poster is not generalising about a race or nationality, they're saying things that we know to be true - some trans women are motivated by a sexual fetish, some are dangerous, and women have not consented to them being in women's spaces. These are all factual.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:25

Spiritofeden87 · 02/10/2025 12:50

Oh believe me. I know someone who is intersex and they absolutely love getting a biology lesson from JK Rowling.

Intersex people agree with JKR, because intersex people know what their sex is, and know that intersex is where their outside genitals don't match their chromosomes. But they are still either male or female. They are not a third sex or in between. And they agree with JKR.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:28

Spiritofeden87 · 02/10/2025 13:01

https://interactadvocates.org/faq/#definition

Maybe a bit of education. JK Rowlings comments about intersex people have been pretty offensive to that community.

Particularly her use of DSD and Hermaphrodite.

DSD is the correct term for intersex. Intersex people find the term 'intersex' to be offensive because it makes people think they are some 'third' sex. Also JKR has never called anyone Hermaphrodite because as she has said herself, there is no human being ever in history that has ever been a hermaphrodite. Hermaphroditism is only seen in the animal kingdom. So you are confused there, too.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:33

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 04/10/2025 14:24

Yeah, I don't think that's hate speech. The poster is not generalising about a race or nationality, they're saying things that we know to be true - some trans women are motivated by a sexual fetish, some are dangerous, and women have not consented to them being in women's spaces. These are all factual.

There are some people of all nationalities and ethnicities who are dangerous , or who are motivated in their actions by sexual fetishes.

Is it ok to say this about them , as a group?

"some of those green people are dangerous".

"It is not hatred to fear or feel repulsed by green people."

"Even the green people who aren't a direct danger ... use non-consenting women as props to play out their sexual fantasies".

"A green person can wear a [what] he wants and I'll even call him Nancy, if he insists, but I will never treat him as if he weren't a green person."

"And [that green person] can stay the fuck out of [our] spaces."

Hate speech against green people? Of course not/ nothing to see here!!

Anyway I'm really bored of playing the "nothing is transphobic , because all I the deeply transphobic feelings and beliefs I have are just The Truth" game. So I'm going to leave that there. Everyone can read those words and see what they are.

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2025 14:35

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:33

There are some people of all nationalities and ethnicities who are dangerous , or who are motivated in their actions by sexual fetishes.

Is it ok to say this about them , as a group?

"some of those green people are dangerous".

"It is not hatred to fear or feel repulsed by green people."

"Even the green people who aren't a direct danger ... use non-consenting women as props to play out their sexual fantasies".

"A green person can wear a [what] he wants and I'll even call him Nancy, if he insists, but I will never treat him as if he weren't a green person."

"And [that green person] can stay the fuck out of [our] spaces."

Hate speech against green people? Of course not/ nothing to see here!!

Anyway I'm really bored of playing the "nothing is transphobic , because all I the deeply transphobic feelings and beliefs I have are just The Truth" game. So I'm going to leave that there. Everyone can read those words and see what they are.

Edited

If you are contemplating making a special exception for any group of men to give them access to women's spaces, then yes, these comments would be important to make

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:38

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:28

DSD is the correct term for intersex. Intersex people find the term 'intersex' to be offensive because it makes people think they are some 'third' sex. Also JKR has never called anyone Hermaphrodite because as she has said herself, there is no human being ever in history that has ever been a hermaphrodite. Hermaphroditism is only seen in the animal kingdom. So you are confused there, too.

Intersex people find the term 'intersex' to be offensive

people born with variations in sex development are not a monolith , who have one brain , and one opinion, and they have not appointed you spokesperson for them so please sit down.

https://thisisintersex.org/data/organizations/

Intersex (inclusive) organizations

Image: iStockPhoto BRO Vector Intersex (inclusive) organizations Sex diversity is an umbrella term for several conceptsAmong them are intersex, and the following terms which are often used in medical surroundings; differences of sex development,...

https://thisisintersex.org/data/organizations/

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:43

Elektra1 · 03/10/2025 00:00

You have clearly not read or understood the Supreme Court judgment. A GRC is in no way “null and void”.

I find it baffling to see the number of people on threads like this ranting that a trans woman can never be anything other than a man. Yes, there is a tiny minority of the trans community who may have adopted a different gender identity in anticipation of being convicted in order to be housed in a preferable prison. That is a minuscule proportion of the trans community.

Honestly I have found reading this thread one of the most depressing experiences of my life. I cannot imagine harbouring so much hatred for an unknown group of people on the basis that a minuscule proportion of that group may be “faking it” because they’re criminals. What about the rest? You could draw an analogy here with racist ideology of earlier decades which was based on the assumption that all non-white people were fundamentally bad/criminal in nature. Which most people these days would not accept.

Develop your arguments to some degree of cogency, people, or maybe ask yourselves what you’d tell your child if they came out as trans. The invective on this thread is absolutely vile.

Edited

When it comes to marked single sex spaces, the GRC becomes null and void.

Didn't the judge even state that people are not 'attracted to a certificate'? Someone more in the know please clarify this.

And you clearly don't get it. Our hatred - or rather fear, is of males. MALES. Whether they are 'trans' or not, is beside the point. Them being trans is incidental.

No one would make a 'racist' comparison to segregating males and female changerooms or toilets. We know not all males are dangerous, but we operate on the assumption of worst case scenario and safeguarding. That is why we have separate spaces for males and for females. We are not 'hating' males by doing that. If you are a lawyer I'd be terrified at your lack of basic common sense.

And there is no such thing as a 'trans child'. Most of us would not entertain it or indulge it. Some on this site do have children who identify as trans and they do not entertain or indulge it at all. So I don't know why you think that would make an iota of difference. In fact, there are a few posters who have become GC because of the horrors of seeing their child sucked into such a dangerous thing.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:46

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:43

When it comes to marked single sex spaces, the GRC becomes null and void.

Didn't the judge even state that people are not 'attracted to a certificate'? Someone more in the know please clarify this.

And you clearly don't get it. Our hatred - or rather fear, is of males. MALES. Whether they are 'trans' or not, is beside the point. Them being trans is incidental.

No one would make a 'racist' comparison to segregating males and female changerooms or toilets. We know not all males are dangerous, but we operate on the assumption of worst case scenario and safeguarding. That is why we have separate spaces for males and for females. We are not 'hating' males by doing that. If you are a lawyer I'd be terrified at your lack of basic common sense.

And there is no such thing as a 'trans child'. Most of us would not entertain it or indulge it. Some on this site do have children who identify as trans and they do not entertain or indulge it at all. So I don't know why you think that would make an iota of difference. In fact, there are a few posters who have become GC because of the horrors of seeing their child sucked into such a dangerous thing.

Edited

Our hatred - or rather fear, is of males. MALES... but only if they have "working penises" that inflate at speed.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:48

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:38

Intersex people find the term 'intersex' to be offensive

people born with variations in sex development are not a monolith , who have one brain , and one opinion, and they have not appointed you spokesperson for them so please sit down.

https://thisisintersex.org/data/organizations/

Neither are trans people. Why have you nominated yourself to speak on their behalf? You should really start taking your own advice that you keep dishing out. You sit down!

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 14:50

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:46

Our hatred - or rather fear, is of males. MALES... but only if they have "working penises" that inflate at speed.

The ones with inflatable penises aren’t male. How fast they inflate is neither here nor there, soooo I’m not sure why you’re making this point.

Not sure about any of your points at this stage but you keep focussing on this particular part of apparatus (that doesn’t make you a male).

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:51

Elektra1 · 03/10/2025 07:30

I didn’t say it was a “good idea”. The reasoning of the Supreme Court in distinguishing the rights protected under the EQA and GRA is unimpeachable as per the letter of those statutes. It is one of the most carefully reasoned judgments I’ve ever read.

My question is why there are so many people (including almost everyone on this thread) who continue to feel the need to rant about an issue which needs no debate because the law has been clarified.

If the law has been clarified why are so many organisations saying they refuse to adhere to it? Some even removing female spaces and making them gender neutral to spite women? Many transwomen saying they'll 'pee where they want' and "no one can stop me"?

Explain that.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:52

Tandora · 04/10/2025 14:46

Our hatred - or rather fear, is of males. MALES... but only if they have "working penises" that inflate at speed.

No, all males. Because height and strength. But keep making a joke out of such a serious issue.

NeonFish · 04/10/2025 14:53

Elektra1 · 03/10/2025 07:53

There are still people saying that this country should be only for white people. And the proportion of the population who are affected by that is far greater than the proportion who are trans. Don’t see you ranting about racism on here though do we?

Trans people are either male or female.

Males are 50% of the population. Far greater than non-white people.

Males are a danger to females.

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 04/10/2025 14:53

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2025 14:35

If you are contemplating making a special exception for any group of men to give them access to women's spaces, then yes, these comments would be important to make

Exactly. If we are already excluding, for very good reason, "the green people" as Tandora calls them, then pointing out why it may not be a good idea to include a subset of the green people is not hate.

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