Boyfriend has described himself as “pussy whipped”

[StrawberrySourpatchKids]

I don’t know if im just being extra sensitive because im on my period and feeling crap in general, so I want some perspective.

my boyfriend and I have been together for about four months. We’re both 26. He’s sent me a screenshot of a conversation he was having with one of his friends this evening, where he agrees with his friend who says he’s “pussy whipped” and he shoots back and basically says the sex is so good I can have whatever I want.

this entire exchange has just made me feel really
grossed out, because I think that’s something I wouldn’t discuss with anyone else. AIBU to feel like this?

Mine would clamp shut.

Four months in should be exciting, interesting, discovering things about each other and having fun, not "ok" and "not amazing". Then factor in he is more than likely discussing your sex life with his mates and sends immature messages and I would say its a blessing that you have found out early on what a disappointment he is. You are worth more than this crass person

Absolutely repulsive.
Go and have sex with someone brainier.

Oh yuk.
And he's just "ok". After 4 months? I feel like I say this a lot on here but this should be the honeymoon period. And you think "he's ok". And he's talking about you like that and thinks sending it to you is sone sort of wooing?

Also it sounds like his friends are going to be dicks. Life is just altogether too short for an ok boyfriend who says and does gross things 4 months in, thinks they will make you go weak at the knees and has dickheads for mates. Move on OP!

This is how so many men get away with being so completely lame- people making excuses for their moronic sexist bullshit

Ewww….end it at this point whilst it is pretty uncomplicated to and you’re not tied in.

I would make sure that he would be describing himself as abstinent, since I wouldn't stick around someone who was crass enough to discuss our sex life with his buds.

He thinks he’s complimenting you by showing you that he’s told his friend you’re great in bed. However for a 26 year old person this level of discourse about his partner is immature at best, misogynistic at worst, and I would rethink whether this is someone you want to be in a relationship with

In the bin

I think you're not being sensitive. He probably sent it to you as a compliment and sounds bit clueless about the fact that this may not be a compliment for you but more like a privacy violation. He sounds like your typical clueless juvenile 26 year old jeez. I would not break up with him for this silly thing but he deserves a scolding and serious chat in person were he gets to be reminded that you're pissed of and your sex life is nobody else's business but you and him. Nonetheless this is a red flag so I would be very cautious with this guy.

This post of yours is the one you should be paying the most attention to, not your first question.
Get out while it's still early days, it won't get any better if he doesn't treat you like a queen in the honeymoon stage.

You deserve better than not awful.
You deserve to feel special and amazing.

Raise that bar.

Discard my above post and bin him.

Lol, the hysteria on this site whenever a slightly off colour phrase is used is hilarious. Wait, the noice brigade will come for me hysterically shrieking because I used the words hysteria, hysterically and shrieking 😅

It's a bit of a sad phrase, bit sexist. Definitely nothing to throw yourself off a bridge over though 😆

The main problem is not the phrase, it's that it means he would not be with you if you weren't giving him sex, that sex is the only thing he likes about you - he doesn't like your sense of humour, kindness, intelligence, fun - all the things that make you you - just access to your fanny.

Long ago, I had a boyfriend I was really keen on and he was really keen on me we were happy and in that first flush of slightly too lovey dovey love - both of us. We went away on a group camping holiday with some of his friends and their girlfriends. We weren't being too much, just happy and nice to one another, holding hands the odd peck on the cheek - we kept the other stuff for when we were in private.

But one of his friends (who was in a miserable relationshipo) made a snide remark about being pussy whipped - the pretence being that this was a joke. He changed after that, he didn't want his friends to think he was - well - pussy whipped. I never forgot that comment, the look on his face, or the way things changed right after. We split up a couple of months later. I never blamed his friend for that of course - it was my boyfriend who gave in to his friend's stupid macho shite, and ruined things for himself.

So no, it's not the term, it's just a phrase, a bit sexist, outdated, nothing to see a therapist about. It's what underlies that phrase.

From both your posts, time to move on. Think about what he is probably saying about your sex life that he is not sending to you. If you have sent him any photos, get those deleted first.

Yes, I thought it meant a man being controlled by a woman.

A pussy is short for pusillanimous, meaning lacking in courage or determination. Thats not what he means though. Grim and weird conversation to have with his friend.

You're with a sexist, misogynistic pig who thinks he's superior to women. That exchange is vile. He sounds like a complete Neanderthal. I'd find yourself someone a bit more enlightened.

Men who talk about being "pussy-whipped" 🤮 have a whooooooole set of values that you don't want to be anywhere near. They're the men who refer to their spouses as "the wife" and call her "the ball and chain" and make out that they're being dominated by her and led around by the nose, all while he's the one who's usually dominating and abusing her. This kind of man thinks that housework and childcare is woman's work, and will feel entitled to get sex elsewhere if his woman appliance breaks down, especially after children when she's exhausted from doing it all. This is the kind of man who will have a massive sulk because his poor little sausage isn't getting wet anymore.

I'd rather sew myself up than be with a man who had that exchange. It's extremely disappointing that in 2025 we have 26-year-old men who talk about women like this.

He's common as muck, OP. Get yourself someone with some class. And I don't mean money, I mean character.

I'm so angry for you, being talked about that way. You are a human being, not a sex-dispensing machine. I hope you manage to find a way to throw up all over him. He doesn't deserve a nice girlfriend. 🤬🤬🤬

This boils my blood! His friend essentially reduces you to a pussy or a vagina who whips her boyfriend. That is incredibly disrespectfu. Your boyfriend doesn’t pull him up on this , suggesting that it’s true and using ‘the sex is on tap’ to explain why he’s putting up with it. Expect more for yourself than being with someone who colludes with disrespect of you and who shares intimate details of your sexual life with others.’ I’m worth more than this’ should be your war cry as you sashay out the door.

Eww surely you've got the ick now and won't be shagging that again.

Do him a favour, be honest, tell him that conversation is the most pathetic, immature crap and biggest turn off you have ever seen, you have no idea why he sent it to you and to give you some space.

Erm, it's really not. It's about ten times more vulgar than that.

Please don’t ever use being on your period as an excuse for putting up with such crap! You may be feeling less resilient than usual but that doesn’t take away from his abysmal attitude. Run. You deserve better.

You’re 26. Another one will be along in a minute. Chuck this fucker back in the sea

100% this!