Boyfriend has described himself as “pussy whipped”

[StrawberrySourpatchKids]

I don’t know if im just being extra sensitive because im on my period and feeling crap in general, so I want some perspective.

my boyfriend and I have been together for about four months. We’re both 26. He’s sent me a screenshot of a conversation he was having with one of his friends this evening, where he agrees with his friend who says he’s “pussy whipped” and he shoots back and basically says the sex is so good I can have whatever I want.

this entire exchange has just made me feel really
grossed out, because I think that’s something I wouldn’t discuss with anyone else. AIBU to feel like this?

The problem is that he sounds like a teenage boy who has just had sex for the first time.

Which is incredibly unattractive unless you two met in Year 11 history.

Bin him off, gross

Geez lady, raise your bar x

I have to say, I think he is trying to be affectionate but in a crass way.

Pussy whipped to me means being happy to be bossed around by a woman.

And he says he is happy to etc, rather than denying it. And the fact that he has shared it with you means it is light hearted and he respects you.

It definitely isn’t a binning offence. Just ask him what he meant and tell him you don’t appreciate his use of language or over sharing.

OTOH, you are 4 months in and, if it’s really upset you, maybe it is best to bin him before you get in too deep.

It's not okay to speak about you like that.
Not him, nor his friends.

He's clearly very immature and insensitive thinking you'd want to be talked about like that, it's not rocket science that you want your sex life to be private and it's not nice to see his friends basically saying you're controlling or whatever.

But apart from immature and stupid, what's he like?

If he is generally generous and kind and supportive and makes you feel special and treats you well, you might want to have a grown up conversation about how this makes you feel and why it's completely inappropriate and why it can't happen again in your relationship.

If in reality he's a childish sex pest who is all about impressing 'the lads', getting pissed all the time and is a bit of a twat, then thrown him back.

Not really...

He shared that with you? Find your self respect and run.

He’s, okay. Certainly not amazing, not awful but he doesn’t do a lot to make me feel special

urgh gross. He doesn’t seem to have a filter. Does he think you will be impressed by this? If my partner was talking to his mates about having sex with me I would be having a serious conversation with him and weighing up my options.

Ah mate 'Not awful' is a low bar.

What a huge turn off …not man enough to be sexy

Really? 😄😄 I am usually the first to say ltb but

Hes 26, dumb and was clumsy in dealing with this

I'd just tell him that I dont want him discussing our sex life and to move on - he definitely could've responded differently, like saying 'shes amazing' or something

As PP’s have said, it’s grim behaviour from him.
Coupled with your last post, he clearly thinks he doesn’t need to make any effort for you.
At four months in he should be making the effort.

He is showing you who he is OP. The way you are feeling is likely nothing to do with your period. There are men out there who won’t disrespect you and will absolutely make you feel special, not just for the first few months but for the whole of the relationship.

Find a man who knows what an adult relationship is, because this one clearly doesn’t.

Alexa, play 'Manchild' by Sabrina Carpenter...

This is 4 months. Cut your losses before it turns into 4 years.

No - he said he’s with her because the ‘sex is so good’ not because he’s afraid she’ll leave. He holds the upper hand in that sentence. He’s choosing to stay and has given the reason.

‘Pussy whipped’ is generally meant where the woman holds the power. It’s equivalent to ‘he’s under the thumb’ or ‘she wears the trousers’.

he agrees with his friend who says he’s “pussy whipped”

So, he doesn't understand that his friend is insulting him (and probably you, and belittling the relationship), and has agreed with the friend and is sending the convo to you thinking you'll take it as a compliment? Is he actually dumb, or do you think this is some elaborate joke or psyop?

Either way, yeah, using the term at all is pretty vile.

And they say romance is dead....
He sounds very immature OP.

I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘ick’ before, but this one would definitely give me the ick. I’m not sure I could have sex with him again.

@StrawberrySourpatchKids I think telling his friend that he is happy with his girlfriend and the sex is amazing isn't problematic.

His choice of language is not to my liking and it should have been obvious that this was not share-worthy with his girlfriend. He just wanted to show you that he is into you and the guys teasing him does deter him. The execution was poor.

I don't think it automatically follows that he will be talking about the details of your sex life.

If you don't like him saying to his friends hat he "can have whatever he wants", you should tell him that.

"Pussy whipped? Absolutely mate, 100%! Have you seen my bird? Why would I go elsewhere!?" or words to that effect would have been better.

Gross. I just asked DH and he said he’s never commented on our sex life with anybody and wouldn’t dare

Forget about the messages, it’s a red herring really.

The real issue is that you’ve only been with him four months and he’s just ‘okay’ and ‘not amazing’ and ‘doesn’t make you feel special’. Why are you with him? At this very early stage of a relationship you should still be in the honeymoon phase where you’re smitten and get butterflies every time you see him! If you’re not really into him at this early stage, things are really not going to get better. You really don’t need to settle someone who isn’t amazing.

Gross.

Bird????? You sound as bad as OPs boyfriend!

@StrawberrySourpatchKids go with your gut. This doesn't feel right to you because it isn't right. I used to go out with someone like this in my 20s and I stuck around far longer than I should have done. Obviously your decision but don't ignore the massive red flag he is showing you. Total lack of respect but he's trying to pass it off as a compliment. Be aware that a lot of lads your age watch all the Andrew Tate shite and see us as sex objects that they own. You are so much more than that. We all are. My partner now would never do anything like that and he cares about my feelings and making me happy not just the sex I'm giving him.

Oh jeez - "pussy-whipped" is an old American expression which doesn't seem to translate very well into UK English. It's not actually about anyone's 'pussy' or even sex, it's just the same as that old UK saying about who 'wears the trousers' in the house.

You actually might not be that great at sex OP but your boyfriend loves you anyway but his friend thinks you're a bit of a bossy bitch that keeps his friend (your boyfriend) under your thumb.

Just as George Bernard Shaw was to have said: "England and America are two countries separated by a common language".

Pussy-whipped illustrates just what this adage was highlighting.