Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

Whiny is complaining that an item sold out and disproportionately complaining.
Whiny is misplaced ire
She knew it was an in demand item likely to sell out and knowing this still delegated it to her partner
Having read thread my response remain same. Whiny

I also note you don’t really appear to understand the thread but are somewhat vexed

I believe the option to be notified when the calendar is back in stock refers to next year’s calendar. To the people expressing surprise that beauty advent calendars sell out in late September, it’s not particularly unusual - the Harrods fragrance calendar sells out within a few hours online in August every year.

How can you be “ungrateful” when he hasn’t actually done anything for you?!

Yes, but she could have just said to him "no thanks, I'll get it myself", as that was her original intention, then she could have received what she wanted and, I presume, would have already started using the products (presuming she would have had to wait until December if he'd bought it, which is crazy because she actually wants it now!).

A calendar seems a strange way to buy cosmetics, but maybe collectively it's cheaper to buy them in that format than to buy them all separately?

Lots cheaper, it’s £260 or however much vs over £1000

It is much cheaper, the value of the calendar is over £1000. The majority of products are full sized too.

Imagine you offered to give him a lift to the airport. He warned you that it was a very early flight but you said you wanted to do it anyway and told him not to book a taxi. Flight day, you oversleep and end up not picking him up. He misses his flight. Oops! Well, he should be GRATEFUL that you offered him a ride. After all ; it was a very early flight, so that's a big favour.

Massive difference here being that he didn’t leave it last minute, it was the 1st of fucking October! I’m a woman and even I would never have thought it would sell out 2 whole months in advance. Not at all comparable to offering someone a lift at a specific time and then sleeping in.

If you were ready to buy it but he stopped you…to then fail to buy it.

yeah…that is not being ungrateful, that is being rightfully annoyed 😒 Buying something doesn’t allow you to fail 👀

Of course he wouldn’t know…hence she told him…

If he couldn’t buy here and then then he should have said it is best he treats her to something else to avoid disappointment.

How long was it from when he said he'd buy it to when he tried to do it? Sorry if I've missed that. I think it was later the same day or a few days after then I'd be annoyed I didn't get it but it's not really his fault as I wouldn't think it'd be selling out that fast.

Paraphrasing your comment - he says you should be grateful he offered to buy it?😆😆 Okay but then he proceeded to not buy it.

I could offer to clean your house for you, not clean it, then demand you be grateful because I offered. 😆

What on earth has he achieved that you should be grateful for?

Is there anything else he can not get for you for Christmas?

A MUCH more expensive one, or every single individual item in it in a remade (professional) advent calendar?

@Gillinggold on their site it's currently saying "no longer stocked online"

Which may suggest you could be lucky instore if you're anywhere near one

next time you say to anything like that. I'll get it just to be sure and you give me the money

Yeah he doesnt get to police your feelings . I'd be annoyed. Is there a backstory?

@FlyingHigher gosh you sound fun. Do you never buy presents for other people? Never receive them either cos why bother if you can buy it yourself?
I admit it’s lovely to buy exactly what I want to have. But it’s also lovely of someone else buys me something. It’s lovely someone is making an effort, showing they care, are thinking of me.
Never buying/receiving gifts sounds like a pretty joyless existence to me.

I’m going to stick up for him and say that although you told him it sells out quickly, he probably didn’t think it would be THAT quick - it was only 1st October! He tried to buy it just a few days after you’d talked about it - he didn’t leave it for weeks.
If you were that concerned you should have spelt it out more clearly - if you don’t buy it immediately on the day it comes out then it will be sold out. Sells out quickly is too vague.

I honestly don’t think so. It’s just an annoying lesson to him. Selling out by Oct 1st is a bit odd.

@Gillinggold yanbu.
You fancied it, he offered to buy it, you told him to be quick. He wasn’t :(
The fact that it’s expensive and some of us (me) wouldn’t want it is irrelevant.

She didn’t tell him to buy it right here right now. No sane person would think “be quick as these advent calendars are popular” would mean “it will sell out by October 1st”.

He hasn’t waited until November 30th.

An offer isn’t something to be grateful for. You can appreciate his intention was good. But what would you be thankful for? The muck up and missing out?

But it wouldn’t be a hill I’d die on. The kind thought was there, even though the outcome was worse than getting it yourself.

I think he should be grateful you’ve not bitten his head off.

Agree

This brings me back to Buzz Lightyear in 1995. My mother said she would get it for my 3 year old and it sold out immediately. Some people just don’t understand urgent shopping. Really though he did try in September ( and you aren’t three!). I am still annoyed though i did move mountains to get it for Xmas..