Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

Honestly ! You lot are up in arms about an advent calendar

will you have a word with yourselves

Is this a really important issue? Ask for a memorable event, days away? Maybe not just consumerism. Sorry if you're disappointed but think about is this a deal braker or not.

do you not understand the concept of 'a present?'

This.

you know what, I can see that argument, as I too wouldn't expect them to sell out that quickly. However I still maintain that he's being a dick because surely any decent ADULT would still take responsibility, apologise, explain, proactively suggest what he can do to fix it (i.e. look on ebay, see what items she really wanted and get them separately, go on a waitlist), etc. regardless of it possibly being an understandable mistake, it was still his mistake.

Not start whining about it not being his fault, and, bizarrely, accusing her of being ungrateful - what is she supposed to be grateful for, exactly?

He’s the AH here. You told him he’d need to buy it quickly because it would sell out. He should’ve listened.

I understand your frustration.. Men are a strange breed... But really?? Get a life? 😂

If only he’d been told by somebody… oh…

I love it when people tell others to get a life, it’s nearly always the best indicator of who actually is lacking something fundamental.

Someone up-thread said ‘there’s always one.’ It turns out, there’s often two.

£350 for an advent calendar. It's only the beginning of October. What a huge waste of money on goo and gunk that could be channeled into something useful. People could go on holiday for £350 or spend it on their kids

Edit - you'd answered my question in a PP ❤

She didn’t say that though! She didn’t give a deadline. It was only 1st October when he tried to buy - most people would assume that for something not needed for another two months, there would still be time to buy even with the knowledge that they sell out “quickly”. She should have been more specific as he actually did act quickly- just not quickly enough.

She's not wrong though. It's a nonsense marketing ploy. There are a hundred or more better uses for £350

Just Googled it, what a load of crap. You could put £350 towards buying a Bengal Cat. You could go on holiday, heck you could put it in a savings pot for a facelift when you turn 40...

Ungrateful? Does he know what that word means? It’s pretty hard to be grateful for sweet fuck all.

Just out of interest, is there anything he likes that sells out on release? That he knows he’d need to put a reminder in his calendar to buy on the day or very quickly, to ensure he gets it?

Ok,he doesn’t get to police her feelings
Conversely,he doesn’t need to accommodate her misplaced ire
she doesn’t get to police his feelings either, cuts both ways
Seeing you asked,wonder if there a back story of her to him?

and I consider paying hundreds for a cat a load of crap, I'd rather have the creams. I won't come on your cat shopping thread to tell you what a load of crap it is, though.

Honestly, skincare & make-up is probably one of the single best aspects of your life to apply the concept of expensive minimalism. I’d see these calendars as just annoying collections of samples that create clutter in my tiny house.

If you’re lucky enough to have £350 to burn, get your DP to spend it on a pair of silk pyjamas for a luxury Christmas Eve box.

You are not ungrateful. I completely understand. Either find one on eBay for him to buy or a more expensive one xx

That’s really annoying OP. YANBU!

This is annoying. It's an irritation. But it should be kept in proportion. Tell him calmly how you feel. Let him make it up to you. Move on.

I would have just bought it myself at the time and asked him for the money if he wanted to buy it as a Christmas present.

Communication wasn’t specific enough here - you probably needed to say: ‘you need to get it now as it will sell out by tomorrow’, which probably would have ended in the above scenario anyway.

I love beauty and skincare but couldn’t get worked up by this or anything else I can think of buying actually, another product is always round the corner.

Well she told him, so he must be incredibly hard of hearing or comprehension.