Page 8 | Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

Gillinggold · 2025-10-01T16:28:22+00:00

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy. He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that. Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended. He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

BunnyLake · 01/10/2025 21:45

BustyLaRoux · 01/10/2025 21:28

Not really sure what he thinks you should be grateful for. He offered to pay for something you were going to buy yourself. So instead of putting in some actual thought into your gift, he thought “oh ace, I’ll just get something she was going to buy herself. Job done. Zero thought required!”
But then, despite you literally warning him to hurry up as they sell out fast, he ignored you.

I think there really is nothing that says I Love You like putting zero thought AND zero effort into a gift!!

What exactly is he owed gratitude for???

Spot on!

BunnyLake · 01/10/2025 21:48

redemptionwoes · 01/10/2025 20:54

It’s October 1st! Being told to be “quick” in ordering something doesn’t mean immediately ….in fairness to him he said it was going to be part of your Xmas present so I wouldn’t have expected him to order it straight away so I think you’re being a bit silly

I think being quick to order something as it sells out fast should tell you to do it NOW not sit on it for weeks.

AnnoyedMum2 · 01/10/2025 21:48

I’ve not RTFT so may be repeating what someone else has already said, but it may be worth trying in store. It sold out last year but my branch still got some after this.

Zov · 01/10/2025 21:51

@Goldleafcat

I would suggest reading the OP again. It is a beauty advent calendar. Often in high demand and they sell out fast. The OP advised this was the case.
Not a 2026 calendar with dates and crap on to hang on your wall.

I DID read the OP's original post properly. AND all the rest she posted. Not at any point did she say it's an advent calendar! How on earth was I - or anyone else - meant to know?

The OP's posts say it's a calendar and would be a Christmas present. A Christmas present would be given on 25th December. A 'calendar' would start in 1st January.

If it was an advent calendar that she was going to receive on 1st December, she should have said. I'm not a mindreader.

Maybe YOU need to read the OP's posts a bit better. She did NOT mention it's an advent calendar.

@TheHillIsMine

You've misunderstood what type of calendar it is..

Same message to you. The OP did NOT say it was an advent calendar in her opening post. Indeed, as a pp said, she doesn't mention it's an advent calendar in ANY of her posts. Like many others, I have zero interest in beauty calendars, so how the hell was I meant to know it was an advent calendar? As I said, I'm not a mindreader. The OP never mentioned it, and she said it was going to be a Christmas present, not a present given to her on December the 1st. 🙄

MindfulAndDemure · 01/10/2025 22:15

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defrazzled · 01/10/2025 22:19

They still have some in shops! Its sold out online. I'd call round :)

WatchingTheDetective · 01/10/2025 22:44

Lots of them on eBay going for £350+

TheHillIsMine · 01/10/2025 22:49

Zov · 01/10/2025 21:51

@Goldleafcat

I would suggest reading the OP again. It is a beauty advent calendar. Often in high demand and they sell out fast. The OP advised this was the case.
Not a 2026 calendar with dates and crap on to hang on your wall.

I DID read the OP's original post properly. AND all the rest she posted. Not at any point did she say it's an advent calendar! How on earth was I - or anyone else - meant to know?

The OP's posts say it's a calendar and would be a Christmas present. A Christmas present would be given on 25th December. A 'calendar' would start in 1st January.

If it was an advent calendar that she was going to receive on 1st December, she should have said. I'm not a mindreader.

Maybe YOU need to read the OP's posts a bit better. She did NOT mention it's an advent calendar.

@TheHillIsMine

You've misunderstood what type of calendar it is..

Same message to you. The OP did NOT say it was an advent calendar in her opening post. Indeed, as a pp said, she doesn't mention it's an advent calendar in ANY of her posts. Like many others, I have zero interest in beauty calendars, so how the hell was I meant to know it was an advent calendar? As I said, I'm not a mindreader. The OP never mentioned it, and she said it was going to be a Christmas present, not a present given to her on December the 1st. 🙄

Maybe don't comment then.

soontobeamama · 01/10/2025 23:02

Could he have actually bought it already but is letting you think he hasn’t, as he wants to surprise you?

Abouttoblow · 02/10/2025 01:28

FlyingHigher · 01/10/2025 17:48

If you wanted it that badly, OP, you should have declined your DP's offer and just bought it yourself!

Adults buying each other presents that they could easily buy for themselves seems peculiar, to me. But I am probably a bit odd, to be fair.

Yes. You are.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 02/10/2025 02:07

You could of got I yourself to be fair if you wanted it so bad

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 02/10/2025 02:38

zeebra · 01/10/2025 17:33

I seem to be the only one but give him a break- it is the 1st October! It is still a long way from Christmas so I can understand his lack of urgency.

This!!

I wouldn't interpret 'it sells out quickly' to mean I need to buy an advent calendar in SEPTEMBER.

if it was something do time critical ud have just bought it myself & he could chose something else. Or if we had separate money he could trf ne the money.

There are bound to be some bring resold on eBay as soon as they're sent out.

or just make s list of the products you really wanted & maybe he can get you some of those or a different calendar

September is far too early to be sulking over what you didn't get for Christmas 🙇🏻‍♀️

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:07

StarlightRobot · 01/10/2025 19:12

I think it is a bit ungrateful- I would be so delighted if my DH offered something like this. Surely they will restock before Christmas and he will be able to buy one for you.

Why would you be delighted? Because of OP's DH she doesn't have the item that she wanted. If he hadn't interfered she would have it

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:13

It is utterly irrelevant if posters think the calendar is a waste of money or not. The point is that OP wanted it, was going to buy it for herself, her partner got involved without her asking, and now she doesn't have what she wanted. Of course she's entitled to be annoyed and of course she isn't being ungrateful.

Goldleafcat · 02/10/2025 03:34

Zov · 01/10/2025 21:51

@Goldleafcat

I would suggest reading the OP again. It is a beauty advent calendar. Often in high demand and they sell out fast. The OP advised this was the case.
Not a 2026 calendar with dates and crap on to hang on your wall.

I DID read the OP's original post properly. AND all the rest she posted. Not at any point did she say it's an advent calendar! How on earth was I - or anyone else - meant to know?

The OP's posts say it's a calendar and would be a Christmas present. A Christmas present would be given on 25th December. A 'calendar' would start in 1st January.

If it was an advent calendar that she was going to receive on 1st December, she should have said. I'm not a mindreader.

Maybe YOU need to read the OP's posts a bit better. She did NOT mention it's an advent calendar.

@TheHillIsMine

You've misunderstood what type of calendar it is..

Same message to you. The OP did NOT say it was an advent calendar in her opening post. Indeed, as a pp said, she doesn't mention it's an advent calendar in ANY of her posts. Like many others, I have zero interest in beauty calendars, so how the hell was I meant to know it was an advent calendar? As I said, I'm not a mindreader. The OP never mentioned it, and she said it was going to be a Christmas present, not a present given to her on December the 1st. 🙄

Tad defensive much?

thelakeisle1 · 02/10/2025 03:40

What exactly have you got to be grateful for? Him breaking his promise and you not getting what you wanted?

Turns out he's another gaslighting arsehole.

Nearly50omg · 02/10/2025 03:46

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:46

SpaceNK

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They are coming back into stock apparently! But literally buy it when you see it as they won’t be there for long

Shangrilalala · 02/10/2025 04:06

Another vote for the Vogue calendar. Full size, high quality products, many available n Soace NK (votary, tatcha etc) I'm still using some bits from last year.

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/10/2025 04:18

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 01/10/2025 18:46

Stop being such a whiny princess . So he didn’t expedite purchase and now you’ve got the huff
@Gillinggold knowing it was likely to sell out and if you were that bothered you’d have bought it yourself and asked him for the money

Try reading the thread and not inventing your own story to respond to?

Op was going to buy it herself and he TOLD her not to, he'd get it, even after she warned it would sell out fast, had sold out months early in previous years and he'd need to be quick. He told her not to worry, that he understood this.

Whats whiny about expecting your partner to listen and do as agreed?

DrowningInSyrup · 02/10/2025 04:46

Yes

Francestein · 02/10/2025 05:24

It would make me feel that the rotten week you’d had didn’t touch the sides for him, and that was a convenient excuse to get out of thinking about your Christmas present. Ultimately it didn’t matter enough to him for it to hit home that he’d have to get off his arse asap to get what YOU wanted, and he’s gaslighting you now to avoid being accountable for your disappointment.

Shoxfordian · 02/10/2025 05:32

Does he usually act like this and not listen to you properly?

G5000 · 02/10/2025 06:14

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 02/10/2025 02:07

You could of got I yourself to be fair if you wanted it so bad

Did you not read the post? OP did want to get one herself. DP told her not to, as he would. Then he didn't. But thinks she should be grateful.

hahsbszhdusndb · 02/10/2025 07:57

This relationship will not last

alfonzi · 02/10/2025 08:05

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:07

Why would you be delighted? Because of OP's DH she doesn't have the item that she wanted. If he hadn't interfered she would have it

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The bar is so low for a lot of women. And that’s why men like this think they can get away with the mere “offer” and that offer should have a woman thanking them profusely even if it doesn’t materialise. Riddiculous. Especially when in this situation that wonderful offer actually delayed OP in getting what she was planning to buy herself.

I have no idea about these calendars but a pp said it’s coming back into stock. If that is the case @Gillinggold I suggest you set an alert and buy it yourself immediately then ask him to send you the money. Or even ask for the money first and set it aside for the calendar coming back into stock.

If he wants you to be grateful about something he needs to actually do something!