Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

To be fair men can be quite clueless when it comes to the meaning of ‘selling out quickly’ as I can’t think of anything for men that can sell out in minutes/ hours and they miss out. Quickly may have meant November to him or few weeks before Christmas rather than last minute. When it comes to stuff like that (something I really want and/ or may sell quickly) I buy it myself. He can buy me something else.

Tickets to a football match? A concert? I can think of quite a few things!

Wow. Bad day? 😂😂😂😂😂

The Sephora one's pretty good this year.

They are ridiculous but many things that people think are lovely are , in reality, ridiculous. That doesn't mean we can't like them or want to have them. And if someone who supposedly loves us offers to buy such an item it is perfectly reasonable to be disappointed when they fail to do so.

I can see it is irritating, but really I would let this go, it will only make you have an even worse day if you dwell on it. You DP did mean well, he probably didn't realise how quickly they sold out. It is annoying yes, but also it is nothing (if he is normally considerate and loving).

Not once is advent mentioned in any of OPs posts. Many people do not know what a beauty calendar is.

I've long stopped expecting men to do anything. They just don't care about anything but their own agenda. This realisation led to true happiness and the single life forever after three marriages.

It’s October 1st! Being told to be “quick” in ordering something doesn’t mean immediately ….in fairness to him he said it was going to be part of your Xmas present so I wouldn’t have expected him to order it straight away so I think you’re being a bit silly

You sound very angry that some people have different opinions to you.

Maybe calm down a bit. It's not that deep.

Looks like you can still bag one :) https://wardrobeicons.com/product/space-nk-beauty-advent-calendar?variant=49037756432688&country=GB&currency=GBP&utm_medium=productsync&utmsource=google&utmcontent=sagorganic&utmcampaign=sagorganic&srsltid=AfmBOooHBHs6vIkVyLS10GeIFTc29y3KuRd

It’s the kind of item you need to snag quickly. He’s being an arse with his response, but it’s also not something I would have delegated to my DH.

I usually buy my own Xmas presents from our joint account a few months ahead and give the parcels straight to DH to wrap 😂 It’s exactly what I want and I’ve mostly forgotten what’s there by Christmas Day. I know what I want and I don’t ever get disappointed 😆

@Gillinggold seems to be in stock here:
https://wardrobeicons.com/product/space-nk-beauty-advent-calendar?variant=49037756432688&country=GB&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOopbr_p28N1iq6mHM77xIICnvJqILAYSFxum5bvNumLWpjzM49XH51c

Sorry didn’t see @Birdy1982 had already posted this one 🤣

Im actually guttered had my eye on this one and decided to get it, evidently not anymore 🙃

Being told a Christmas calendar “sells out quick” last week would not normally lead me to conclude it would be sold out before Halloween. 🎃

You can be annoyed, but frankly I find it incomprehensible that a Christmas calendar can be sold out more than two months before Christmas.

(written by a woman who doesn’t buy beauty Christmas calendars)

Not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. He meant well!

He might have bought it and be saving it as a surprise.

'Tis the season of greed and selfishness after all.

I really don’t agree you should be grateful.

But I also dint think that many men realise that things like this WILL be sold out in a week. He probably thought he had a month in front of him. I know I would if I hadn’t read threads on here about it (and no I dint buy many beauty products let alone calendars….)

If you're annoyed or upset, you are - there's not really any reasonable or unreasonable about feelings. I'd quite easily forgive my partner for this IF I thought it was an honest mistake and he was genuinely apologetic and had tried to locate the item or see if there was something comparable I'd like instead.

However, your partner is being an absolute arse about this. Calling you "ungrateful" seems like a red flag - and anyway what are you supposed to be GRATEFUL about, as he hasn't done anything for you except make you miss an opportunity to get something you wanted?

Not really sure what he thinks you should be grateful for. He offered to pay for something you were going to buy yourself. So instead of putting in some actual thought into your gift, he thought “oh ace, I’ll just get something she was going to buy herself. Job done. Zero thought required!”
But then, despite you literally warning him to hurry up as they sell out fast, he ignored you.

I think there really is nothing that says I Love You like putting zero thought AND zero effort into a gift!!

What exactly is he owed gratitude for???

It makes no sense to be grateful when someone offers to do something but doesn't do it. The offer isn't enough. It's the doing that counts.

Space NK is the only one to have sold out!!

A tad overdramatic!