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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

657 replies

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 18:55

DeltaC · 04/10/2025 18:19

You are being ungrateful … it’s only a calendar. I am a man and if my wife was angry at me for such … I would never offer to do anything for her again…

You'll take what I give you and like it, or get nothing.

What a treat. Have you always been so romantic?

Catloverlady · 04/10/2025 18:57

If anything I want is selling out I buy it myself even if he was buying it as I am impatient and I know how disappointing it will be if I don’t get it. My husband doesn’t have the same level of urgency he’s busy. He’s really kind and thoughtful and in the past I’ve said I really want these shoes or something and he’d say I’ll get you them. Then I’d say they have just one left and he’d say. Just get them. He says he prefers to buy them for me but understands there are very few left and how important it is.
communication might be the issue here with the calendar perhaps ??

TheGodlyGirl · 04/10/2025 19:00

a) you are being a total brat. Sorry. I am genuinely surprised that the majority of the poll say otherwise
b) he may well have gotten it and he’s just telling you he didn’t so that it’s a lovely surprise. Which makes you seem like even more of a brat.

I know this reads abruptly, and I don’t INTEND to cause offence, but I honestly find this breathtakingly poor for a grown adult.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 19:08

TheGodlyGirl · 04/10/2025 19:00

a) you are being a total brat. Sorry. I am genuinely surprised that the majority of the poll say otherwise
b) he may well have gotten it and he’s just telling you he didn’t so that it’s a lovely surprise. Which makes you seem like even more of a brat.

I know this reads abruptly, and I don’t INTEND to cause offence, but I honestly find this breathtakingly poor for a grown adult.

OP was going to treat herself to something. Her partner said he'd buy it. Not only did he not buy it as it sold out, he didn't get her anything else. She completely lost out on something she was going to buy herself until her partner decided he wanted to be a hero. Failed. Then said, screw it and made himself the victim. 🙄
He sounds very immature and insincere.

Janicchoplin · 04/10/2025 19:13

I think I would be annoyed especially if I was going to buy it myself and he stopped me.
Having let him know he needs to buy it quickly then he doesn't. I would feel let down. It is only a calendar. But it's not about the calendar is it?
What if she had done it when he was going to buy i.e concert tickets for his favourite band. Oh well maybe their next tour darling. Don't be ungrateful I did try.

As for those saying about how quick they sell out. I have to buy my dogs calendar in Oct or they sell out within a week. And that's a dog calendar.

Christmas decorations have been in the stores since the end of August. October is late for Christmas stuff.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/10/2025 19:15

TheGodlyGirl · 04/10/2025 19:00

a) you are being a total brat. Sorry. I am genuinely surprised that the majority of the poll say otherwise
b) he may well have gotten it and he’s just telling you he didn’t so that it’s a lovely surprise. Which makes you seem like even more of a brat.

I know this reads abruptly, and I don’t INTEND to cause offence, but I honestly find this breathtakingly poor for a grown adult.

If he has got it, telling her he didn't is an absolutely dick move. It doesn't make it a lovely surprise. It means she spends two months feeling disappointed about not getting it.

purpleygirl · 04/10/2025 19:17

TBH YABU I don’t think he was in the wrong. It’s not like he left it for a month and Christmas is still some time away. I think it was a lovely gesture and your post was dated 1/10 so hadn’t left it long before trying to order it.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/10/2025 19:19

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

I buy a just-little-pictures one for myself - a legacy of never having one as a child and being painfully envious of anyone who did.

Gogglefrog · 04/10/2025 19:32

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 18:44

I don’t like that one as much as SpaceNK, but I’ll find another one I’m sure x

Show quote history

The Sephora calendar looks decent!
id be pIssed AF in your position. YANBU

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

Emonade · 04/10/2025 19:42

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

Get a grip it’s a beauty calendar

Themaghag · 04/10/2025 19:46

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

Do you have form for being a complete joy sucker, or are making a special effort?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 19:53

Emonade · 04/10/2025 19:42

Get a grip it’s a beauty calendar

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So a person should only want the essentials in life? take Take no pleasure in extras?
What a joyless existence. 🙄

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/10/2025 19:54

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

How is it OP's fault????? 🙄

N12n · 04/10/2025 19:57

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

If I can eat, drink clean water and sleep in a warm bed each night I am content as all who are lucky enough should feel. Buying stuff and getting angry or upset over buying stuff is beyond daft.Check yourself and what actually matters to you and life.

Starling7 · 04/10/2025 19:59

Get him to buy it on Ebay and swallow the additional markup

CharlieEffie · 04/10/2025 20:07

What should you be greatful for he hasnt done anything other than causing you to miss out

DeltaC · 04/10/2025 20:08

He did not miss the sale will fully… that is my point

Thingyfanding1 · 04/10/2025 20:09

Yep. Annoying!
I wouldn’t hold a grudge over it though. Move on, and you know what to do next time.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:18

MyOpenJadeGoose · 04/10/2025 18:34

You are being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ! If you’re angry about something so petty and stupid as this, ask yourself what is important in life? Get over it! Your going to create discontent over a “ beauty calendar “?? If a beauty calendar is SO IMPORTANT to you, then you indeed have your priorities screwed up!

@MyOpenJadeGoose

some of us care about why we look like 🤷‍♀️ some evidently don’t

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:19

N12n · 04/10/2025 19:57

If I can eat, drink clean water and sleep in a warm bed each night I am content as all who are lucky enough should feel. Buying stuff and getting angry or upset over buying stuff is beyond daft.Check yourself and what actually matters to you and life.

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@N12n

blimey, it really is a race to the bottom isn’t it? 🤣

You can’t want for anything more than the absolute basics OP according to some people on here!

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:20

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:41

Shocked you’d leave it to anyone to buy you something that has limited numbers, you won’t make that mistake again.
To others it’s not important as they have other things to think about.

@Skybluepinky

dont be silly. It was OP’s husband who made the mistake, not OP.

Londonaries · 04/10/2025 20:21

You are being unreasonable.
If this happened to me I’d just be like ‘oh well, it’s not for me’ then move on with my life in a split second. Yes even if it was the most amazing thing that I always wanted.
Tbh for you to be annoyed about not having something, you don’t deserve to have it.

Bongani · 04/10/2025 20:22

warmapplepies · 01/10/2025 17:50

I think I must be odd too as I totally agree with you.

It would never occur to me to ask my partner to buy me something I could get myself.

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My birthday is in three weeks, and I've bought something I wanted. That way I got exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it.

Cherrytree86 · 04/10/2025 20:22

Londonaries · 04/10/2025 20:21

You are being unreasonable.
If this happened to me I’d just be like ‘oh well, it’s not for me’ then move on with my life in a split second. Yes even if it was the most amazing thing that I always wanted.
Tbh for you to be annoyed about not having something, you don’t deserve to have it.

@Londonaries

i feel sorry for you that you see your wants and needs as so unimportant. Also I’m not sure I believe you…that even if was something you thought amazing and you were let down you would’ve be at all bothered….yeah, no. Don’t be disingenuous