Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

I'm sure that would be a big relief for her, as then she might actually get what she wants.

YANBU. This was low effort in a) not putting any thought into your xmas gift and b) delaying the purchase meaning it sold out. Next time order it for yourself and use his card!

Buy it for yourself & dump him.
You need someone who adds to your life, not makes it worse

Why date a man who drains you? A partner should add to your life not ruin it. You deserve better. These men deserve to be lonely.

Give your head a wobble, it was just a beauty calendar.

I must have missed the part where OP asked for judgy opinions on the price of a treat she wanted to buy herself

It depends how long he waited.

If you told him there was only a couple left and he waited 2 weeks, then I’d be annoyed.

But I wouldn’t have thought an advent calendar would sell out in October.

If you knew that it sells out so soon, then I would have bought it and asked DH to just transfer me the money for it.

You are being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ! If you’re angry about something so petty and stupid as this, ask yourself what is important in life? Get over it! Your going to create discontent over a “ beauty calendar “?? If a beauty calendar is SO IMPORTANT to you, then you indeed have your priorities screwed up!

If this is the biggest problem in your life then consider yourself lucky.
It's an advent calender.
It's October.
You are an adult.
Just buy the crap you want in them.

You’re meant to be grateful that he stopped you buying something you really wanted and then he messed up so you’re left with nothing? Nice attempt at blame-shifting from him. YANBU.

There will be people on here who have all kinds of big problems that you don’t know about, and they are simply posting about their smaller ones because those are the ones where they aren’t actually sure if they are being unreasonable. ‘AIBU to be upset about my bereavement’ doesn’t really work, does it?

Same goes to you, @MyOpenJadeGoose

FGS. Scroll. On. 🙄

People really are dicks, aren’t they?

hope you’ve found a similar replacement for yourself OP.

OP really wanted something to cheer her up.
it was a particularly thing in limited quantity.
Her DH said he'd get it for her, but didn't.
He fucked up.
Not the end of the world, BUT. HE KNEW SHE WANTED SOMETHING VERY SPECIFIC, and he was lazy about getting it.

Some people have real problems.

I agree. They also contribute significantly to environmental degradation - all those plastic containers will go straight to landfill. Advent calendars used to be for children. I think that OP's partner meant "ungracious" rather than ungrateful, and I agree with him.

What a drip!! You even warned him - he clearly didn't listen. I'd be disappointed too.

You misunderstand what chat forums and the internet are, love.

What part of what happened afforded the OPs partner grace?

Interesting word, ungrateful. That would suggest he had done something - provided you with something, even - for which you should be thankful. In this instance, I presume what he considers he gave you was the idea of having bought something you wanted. Because it's the thought that counts, right? I'm wondering how he plans to wrap his thought - gift-wrapped or in a £1.75 gift bag from Tesco.

From the title, I would have said you were being unreasonable, but your content? Heck no. I'd be upset and probably angry if my finger had been on the buy button of something I really wanted, then been dissuaded with the promise of it as a Christmas present, just to lose out.

Realist? No, a mean girl.

At your age, you should have grown out of such childish behaviour towards others.

I don't think it's about gratitude, I think it's about reasonableness. My experience (quite long at this point) is that doing something quick for men often means something different for us. If your heart was set on it, you should have just said no, I'll do it, but I'll give you a list of things I'd love to have for Christmas. He probably thought he was being quick, as Christmas is still three months away...

Yep. But, the post wasn't AIBU to have wanted something that contributes to environmental degradation, was it?
It's utterly fascinating that people have to derail a thread with sanctimony. 🤓

I bet she’ll be relieved to hear that.

She’ll be able to go out any buy herself some decent gifts instead of the shitty flowers and chocolates from the petrol station yet again. 🤔

Could he have bought it but putting it away for Christmas for the surprise?