Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

Why are people telling OP what she should or should not spend money on? Maybe she WANTS the beauty calendar? Why should she get a cat or pyjamas instead?

Ffs it’s a calendar a bit of paper with numbers on get over yourself

Suggesting alternatives she may not have thought of because she's being scammed if she buys that. She'll still look the same.

Maybe it's just me.... But the men in my life are laid back. Urgency for them is, possibly, maybe, in a few days time. For me, it's in the next 5 minutes.

So, I do the time limited actions and I will get myself gifts from him. And buy his choice of gifts for him, etc.

yes that's how I always think. Bought a new perfume today, if only someone had suggested I could spend that money on a German Shepherd..

« Be careful, they go fast »…not enough?
Nah…

If someone said that to me, I would have looked out for it or said I can’t do it and will find something else. Nothing to do with sanity, more empathy or caring?

Let’s be clear, she isn’t saying it is the end of the world. But she surely isn’t ungrateful.

*bought

It's the stuff my partner does too, he just forgets or downplays stuff. Then he feels guilty and searches and searches for ages to try and locate something out of stock, making me then feel bad!
I don't think it's fair of him to turn this back on you, you did nothing wrong and you're entitled to be annoyed imo!

Why does it have to be about looking different?

I’ve bought this calendar. Not because I want to look different, but because I just want it. In the last year I’ve left an abusive relationship, lost a family member to glioblastoma, my dad has had a stroke, my child has had severe mental health issues, and sometimes it’s just fucking nice to treat myself to something that I can pamper myself with.

I LIKE having a nice hot bath and using nice products. I like the fact that I get to use things that I would never normally buy because I convince myself it’s too expensive and the money could be better spent elsewhere. I am looking forward to having a little treat every day in December, and I shouldn’t have to justify how I spend my bloody money.

I already have silk pyjamas, a cat, two family holidays booked and my kids go without nothing. Does anyone else want to tell me how I should spend my money, or am I allowed to just buy something that I want now?

Have you never looked forward to something?

Spend it on the mentally ill child

Pretty sure as a grown woman she's aware that cats and pyjamas exist. Also pretty sure that she knows her own mind and was going to get the advent calendar because it's what she wanted, not because she just hadn't had a random internet stranger telling her cats exist yet!

Oh god how stupid of me! What do you recommend to cure autism and anxiety?

I mean I pay for equine therapy, private therapy, occupational therapy, sensory aids, private tutors. What else should I buy to “fix” them?

God forbid a woman dare spend money on herself, eh. This thread is insane.

I know 😂😂

Hope you get your calendar OP! There were lots still in store when I went into my local town at the weekend.

This is extremely petty and you sound hard work, OP. If you need something that badly, get it yourself. Your partner wasn’t to know it would sell out on October 1st - I haven’t even thought about Christmas yet! Definitely not something to get worked up over.

This! It wouldn’t occur to me to buy an advent calendar in OCTOBER

tell us you don't know what you're talking about without telling us....

I totally get it. However, some people don't get that "it sells out quickly" means "in a few hours or days".I had a similar situation before and turns out DH thought it was a case of "buy them this week" or "this month ". Specially so early in advance. Next time, I would suggest to be more specific, like they sell out within X hours or days from release. Saying that, the ungrateful but is quite rich. He offered. You warned him. He might have misunderstood but it's still on him and he should have been apologetic or asked for an alternative and be straight on it.

At least he told you straight away. I can imagine other people might have just not said anything, tried to get a (poor) alternative and then you'd have been disappointed at Christmas because he did offer the SpaceNK one.

Can you send him a list of everything it included and ask him to source the items individually?😆

Aaaarggh I can understand your frustration, but the calendars seem to be coming out and selling out earlier and earlier every year! I have had a Selfridges one and a Harvey Nicks before,, but looked at all of them this year and couldn’t see any at all I fancied! My daughter who loves a good calendar liked the Space NK best but hasn’t bought it as she was a bit lukewarm over it. I actually ended up buying the Boots one, it’s full of good stuff and has lots of great brands which I’ll use- it was easily £100 less than the others. (Their beauty boxes are fab too!) x x

Of course YANBU! You didn’t ask him for this, he offered it and then you ended up without. Some pps are muddying the water with whatever their issues are concerning your preferences. Not the issue! The issue is - he offered, you accepted with advice to him regarding urgency, he ignored it, and then played the victim when it went tits up. You have nothing to be grateful for - nobody is grateful for incompetence!!!

Wow, that's so unreasonable of him, I'd ltb, you'll get a better one or just live by yourself. That way you'll get your calendar and if you don't at least it's no other poor buggers fault.

I think the majority are being really harsh on DH here. He tried to buy it just one week later and he's getting slaughtered because it was sold out. Considering there's still two months to go till 1st December, it was quite reasonable to expect to be able to buy it the following week. He probably thought he had acted pretty quickly and had no clue that you meant he literally had 24 hours to buy it. Stop giving him a hard time; something that was intended as a lovely gesture shouldn't have turned this sour. Disappointing yes, but not a big deal in the big scheme of things

That's not what I said though is it? I didn't say "cats exist" because well, duh of course they do. I said she could've put it towards a Bengal Cat. If you see one in person one day you'll know what I mean, they're outstanding gorgeous, like a living work of art.

It’s a beauty advent calendar with products in it. If you’re going to dish out crap, it helps if you’re right.