Tell me about the kind, gentle, caring men in your life.

[Aweemawe]

This evening I was walking alone on a quiet road at dusk when I met a man, also on a walk. He seemed such a pleasant, friendly person. We had a short conversation and then went on your way. It got me thinking that most of the men I know and meet in real life are actually delightful people, not at all like the horrifying specimens that I so often read about on here. It made me think that the representation of men on here is probably very much skewed towards the rotters. So let’s talk about the womderful men, for a change.

I’ll tell you a bit about three of mine to get us started:

My nephew (27) is an animal lover and such a gentle soul. He has rescued three caged hens and spent more than he can afford to give them a lovely big home and an enriching environment to scratch about in. They will sit in his lap and let him pet them.

My co-worker has adopted three little boys with his husband. He showed me a video today of one of his sons performing in a school concert and was almost literally bursting with pride and there were tears in his eyes. He has so much compassion for the journey his children are travelling and takes such joy in their achievements. He and his partner run an amazing home, they are always cooking with the boys and their house is super clean and cozy. The children are so proud of their dads.

My neighbour. I live in an area where most people’s homes as powered by just electricity, but he has had oil heating installed. He also had a gas camping stove. When storms hit last winter and our area had a power cut, he set up the camping stove in his kitchen and knocked on everyone’s door on the street offering them to come over to fill a flask with hot water and/or have a cup of tea with him. When I went round with a flask, there were several elderly ladies who had been there all day, because their homes were cold and dark. None of us had met him before that day, he was literally inviting strangers in out of the cold.

Over to you :-)

I don't know any but I wish I did!

My friend, a genuine needle in a haystack.

kind, genuine, educated and lovely to speak to. He is happy to help those in need, is a wonderful father and great friend

This is the best I can do. He’s constant and predictable, he looks after his family incredibly well and is very gentle, polite and patient.

My dad was the gentlest, kindest man you could meet. I miss him every day.

My husband.

Just a thoroughly decent, gentle, live-and-let-live man who has a quiet strength and listens far more than he talks.

He’s a much better person than me.

I’m so sorry to hear this, hopefully this thread will show that they do, in fact, exist. I’m fortunate to know loads of lovely men, but know others aren’t so lucky.

I don’t know any. I know loads who appear kind, but their wives/girlfriends would tell you what terrible partners they are.

My DP. Everything you could wish for in a man and partner ❤️

I know loads of incredibly kind men.

My husband is very kind and looks after me and my son. He is modest and intelligent. He enjoys electronics and fixing things.

My son is very kind and reads MN threads with me and is always worried about how men are represented on here and wishes to be a good and kind man when he grows up, and a good husband and father. He likes reading long technical books with no pictures. He takes very good care of houseplants.

My Dad looked after our whole family finacially when I was growing up and my Mum for her whole adult life because she never worked. My Mum got dementia and my Dad looked after he so carefully and single handed until she got to the point where she could no longer stand up or speak. My Dad is now paying for her to be in a lovely care home where he visits her every day. Afterwards he visits me and shows my son interesting things from his life with my Mum.

My brother is lovely too. His partner recently had a hysterectomy and he dropped everything to look after her. He also came to stay with my Mum for a week or more several times when my Dad had to be in hospital.

I have a lot of male friends who are all delightful people. They are all computer guys. I have a lot of scientist friends who are very gentle too.

I do see the LTB threads on here, the men in my life are not at all like that.

If there are problems in my relationships with men, I talk to them and solve the problems.

Thank you for starting this thread. My teen son does worry about how men are so disliked by women on MN and I would love him to see women talking about the good men in their lives.

Lovely thread.

My dh fits this category. As well as being a husband and Dad, he mentors people at work and volunteers for meetings to ensure fairness and access to people who might otherwise struggle. Outside of work he spends many hours a week volunteering to give thousands of young people some fantastic opportunities over the decades.

But I had a great example, from my Dad. He died some time ago, but I still get people I bump in to telling me what a lovely man he was, and I hear tales of things he did quietly and unassumingly that never fail to make me feel warm inside.

For me, kindness and respect and a sense of humour are really very, very normal qualities I see in men all round me.

My dad, my uncle, cousins, DH all good men.

I know some rotters too, friends ex partners/husbands, DH’s odd ‘friend’ and ex work colleagues. Domestic violence, gambling, alcohol abuse, cheating, lying. They’ve all had/have very good jobs, seemingly happy relationships but it was all masking. You’d never have thought it of some of them.

If DH and I ever split up, I’d not bother again!

My husband. He is kind, gentle, thoughtful, ambitious for his family and gives so much time and love to our children, we adore him. I actively sought out a kind man because I have a father who when we children was not gentle or kind very often and prioritised drinking and the pub over his family. The contrast is something I honestly am grateful for everyday

My husband, he is a very kind and wise person. He has a serious heart condition and faces it so well, making sure that we are all cared for. He is very much love and let live attitude to life and in 35 years I've only seen him lose his temper twice. Both times because of how someone treated me. In turn he has helped to raise two brilliant young men who are very much like their dad in attitude.

Same. My DC miss him too - they still remember snuggling up to him and him reading books and doing crafts with him. He had endless gentle patience and a lovely child-like curiosity even in his 90s.

All the men in our family are lovely and family-orientated.

I don’t know many.. I include my partner, father and brother in that.
Whilst I love them all, each are very selfish and have qualities I do not like which I won’t talk about here as it’s a happy thread.

I thought a couple of my male friends were nice but it has been shown not to be the case.

One old friend was very kind when my car was in for repair and offered me use of his car and most of the men at work seem nice.

My husband; such a kind, calm gentleman. Considerate almost to a pathological level 😆 and he's become a patient, hands on and gentle father too, it's wonderful to see. He's got so much respect for people, animals and things, he's so careful and lovely.

DH is a good un. I work much longer hours and usually out from 7am-8pm. He also works FT but I come home to a home cooked meal, laundry done, DC’s lunches ready for school the next day. He does all the food shopping and meal planning, he does a lot of driving DC about to sports fixtures in the evenings and weekends. I can rely on him.

I do my fair share at weekends but I’m pretty hopeless during the week. 16yr old DS is also turning out to be a good man, he works hard at school and his sport, thinks about others, helps his sister with her homework, keeps his room clean and tidy. He’s no trouble at all and I hope will make a good partner/father one day.

I don't know any awful men personally. I am aware of lots through my work but in my personal life, they are all good eggs.
My husband and sons are kind, gentle, clever, thoughtful men. My male friends ditto.

Lovely thread! I feel incredibly lucky that both my DP and my DS are lovely characters. Kind, mellow, funny, helpful, sensitive and thoughful. And, just so cheerful and loving. I feel very blessed. I have more than my share of nasty men in my life - my ex, and a very difficult DB, so I know not to take my DP and DS for granted.

My DH asks me every so often if he is taking enough of the mental load. He is. On Saturday he looked after both DC (1 and 5) so that I could go to London with my friend for the day.

I don't know a single one. Not even either of my two DS.

My dad. A good man through and through, who showed me what it means to be man, a father and a partner. He died far too young, and every day I try my best to live up to his example.

My DH, he is also a wonderful male role model for DS who is 4.

School have commented on how he kindly he treats his female friends at school.

My son is the kindest, softest, gentlest most loving and respectful young man. He really really is. I'm proud already of the husband he'll hopefully be one day.

My dad worships the ground my mother walks on and has done for the last 45 years. He's never raised his voice to her, let alone his hand. He's sweet, kind, gentle and loving. He doesn't wear the trousers by any means , absolutely not, and is very docile and amenable, which some women may find frustrating. But he genuinely hasn't got a bad bone in his body.

My dh is a wonderful man and father. I met him when I had three children very close in age and he’s brought them up as his own, we went on to have two dc together and you would never know that he’s not the older three’s biological children he treats them all exactly the same, no favouritism at all. He’s my soulmate and best friend.

Also my dad will never be topped. I am so blessed to have that man in my life he’s amazing. Before I met my husband my dad played a big part in helping me raise my children, and they absolutely adore him and look at him as a second dad. He turned 65 today and I know that’s not old but it really dawned on me earlier that my parents are getting older and if I’m lucky I probably have at most only another 20 years and that is a very scary thought.

Lovely thread btw op. It’s nice to read about other good men when you hear so much negativity on here.