Tell me about the kind, gentle, caring men in your life.

[Aweemawe]

This evening I was walking alone on a quiet road at dusk when I met a man, also on a walk. He seemed such a pleasant, friendly person. We had a short conversation and then went on your way. It got me thinking that most of the men I know and meet in real life are actually delightful people, not at all like the horrifying specimens that I so often read about on here. It made me think that the representation of men on here is probably very much skewed towards the rotters. So let’s talk about the womderful men, for a change.

I’ll tell you a bit about three of mine to get us started:

My nephew (27) is an animal lover and such a gentle soul. He has rescued three caged hens and spent more than he can afford to give them a lovely big home and an enriching environment to scratch about in. They will sit in his lap and let him pet them.

My co-worker has adopted three little boys with his husband. He showed me a video today of one of his sons performing in a school concert and was almost literally bursting with pride and there were tears in his eyes. He has so much compassion for the journey his children are travelling and takes such joy in their achievements. He and his partner run an amazing home, they are always cooking with the boys and their house is super clean and cozy. The children are so proud of their dads.

My neighbour. I live in an area where most people’s homes as powered by just electricity, but he has had oil heating installed. He also had a gas camping stove. When storms hit last winter and our area had a power cut, he set up the camping stove in his kitchen and knocked on everyone’s door on the street offering them to come over to fill a flask with hot water and/or have a cup of tea with him. When I went round with a flask, there were several elderly ladies who had been there all day, because their homes were cold and dark. None of us had met him before that day, he was literally inviting strangers in out of the cold.

Over to you :-)

I feel really lucky. I have loads. I’ve got 6 brothers in law and they all fit this description, as do lots of my male colleagues. My two ds’ do too.

I’m lucky enough to know a fair few. Special shout out to my brother, a special needs teacher and a kind, caring friend to many, and the three coaches of my son’s football teams,

I've told this story on here before, so please forgive me if you've heard it before. A robin nested in the pocket of my dad's gardening jacket which was hanging up in his garage. Dad didn't want to move the car for fear of disturbing them so he caught the bus everywhere until the eggs had hatched and the fledglings had left the nest. He was from the strong, silent era of men but spent his whole life being kind to other people and adored animals.

A fellow volunteer who is passing on his knowledge and mentoring me. He must be well into his 70s but has no old fashioned attitudes towards women. A nice decent man.

Happy birthday to your dad @overstimulatedhermit . He sounds like a gentleman.

I love this story so much 🥹 Your dad sounds wonderful.

What an adorable man ☺️

My dad. Rang his mother every day until she died. Rings me at least once a day! Leaves money under my car floor mat / glovebox etc (eg £40/50) now and then for me to find. I Think he thinks I wouldn’t accept it if he just offered it; so he hides it, and then I find it later when cleaning up or looking for something! I know it’s him, he’s been doing it since I was a poor student in the early 2000s. When I say thanks, he denies all knowledge. He is very very kind and will help anyone who asks with technical tasks or fixing things. He also campaigns for Labour and does a lot of local organising for good causes.

The priest at the church I went to as a child. He was amazing.

He would always welcome us with a beautiful smile, let all us children sit at the front and spoke to us. He always made sure me and my DB had a present each at Christmas and Easter. Made sure my mum had an envelope with £££ in when needed.

Just such a gentle caring man.

Your own sons aren't good men?
Why do you think that is?

I should imagine they very much pick up on their mother's disdain. It's a shame. Chicken/egg?

My DH -kind, considerate and caring. Always the one to see colleagues onto their bus or train or into a taxi after a night out. Takes mum's cat into the nursing home every week to see her while he does the crossword with her. One of my BILs-just a really kind and hardworking family man. Lots of colleagues and neighbours who are also like that.

Every single man I know fits this definition, they wouldn't be in my life if they didn't. The men in my immediate family are especially good - my father, my grandfathers (rest their souls), my uncles - it's the women who are tricky!

My dad was an amazing man. He adored my mum, was very open with his feelings and liked and loved by many.

My husband is amazing too. Yes we have our times where we disagree but I've never felt unsafe in a disagreement. He always wants me to be happy and will do what he can to support me in my goals. He is also an amazing father to our three children and is very much an involved father.

My son, he is such a loving caring boy. He always likes to make sure everyone in the family is ok and is very kind to his friends. He calls out bad behaviour and helps others when he can.

I also know other men who are good people, both friends and family.

In my dreams?

My DH is absolutely lovely. He’s just so kind and gentle and wants everyone to be looked after. He gives honey to tired bumblebees. He looks at me like I’m Beyoncé on the Renaissance tour, even when I look like Grotbags has crawled from under a hedge. He visited his mum on Mother’s Day every year she was alive.

He’s painfully aware that he looks intimidating, despite the soppiest creature in the world.

I think all the men I know are wonderful.

My husband is incredible and kind and loving and giving and would do anything for me or his friends or family and has a caring job he’s done well for 25 years, my sons are kind natured, loving and so gentle with young children or animals. My dad and grandad are two of the best men you’d ever meet. My brothers in law are brilliant husbands to their wives & excellent fathers to their sons & we have a range of friends spanning different age groups, different geographical locations & different professional backgrounds who are also wonderful people we’ve known over 20 years in most cases. Their wives don’t complain, they parent their children kindly and get involved and they do chores & earn money & are considerate to their wives. All the men I know volunteer doing football coaching, swimming coaching, officiating runs or helping at sports clubs & cook dinners & host friends and families & look after children for days/ weeks whilst their wives go away for work or on holiday (and this is reciprocal)…. As far as I can see most men are equal in most ways to their wives.

I am surrounded by wonderful men.

My DP is kind, gentle, thoughtful and affectionate. In the five years we've been together there hasn't been a cross word from him. He takes me out when I want to go out and is happy to pay for everything. I'm so lucky 😊

My neighbour who trims my hedges (not a euphemism) and has helped me out with various things since ex and I broke up.

My uncle in his 80s who mucks in with my children when we go and visit, teaches them to fix things, shows them his motorbikes, etc.

My ds10. When 2 of his friends fell out, their teacher was encouraging one of them to spend more time with ds10 who she described as a “lovely friend”. A few months ago when it was very hot, my exh came over to see the dc and they were having a water fight in the garden. Exh asked ds10 why he had given him a pink water balloon and he didn’t want a pink one 🙄 ds10 responded quite scornfully with “don’t judge colour”.

My ds7 who is always so thoughtful and kind and frequently gets described as such. In previous years different teachers have told me that he is “a very special child”, “a lovely member of the class”, “impeccably behaved” etc etc.

I very much hope both of them will turn out to be lovely men. I just wish they had more male role models.

My husband, who is so emotionally intelligent that my female friends go to him for relationship advice. He's the one who gets up with the kids, makes all their meals, and carries the mental load for the home while working a full time job. He's also funny and gorgeous. I adore him.

My DP. Externally he can look grumpy, man of few words and seems to lack emotions. But underneath he is kind and loving. He will do anything to help me. Driving through the night for 6 hours to get me to my family after my mum died. supporting me to succeed

little things like cooking dinner when he hates cooking to make sure I eat when late from work. He is not a fan of snugging. But will hold me tight when I need it. It’s just the little actions non verbal that makes a difference

My DH is a great guy , he is by no means perfect , neither am I but he is kind , loving , always there for me and the kids . Is the first to offer to help anyone he sees in trouble ( example he just arrived home covered in mud this afternoon because he was helping a young local lad who go got his tractor stuck ) .
He truly is a great man

i am only replying because I want to read this thread tomorrow and I can’t find the watch button anymore.

I love reading about lovely men!

My brother in law is the gentlest of men. He is 40, he works in a school for boys with severe behavioural problems. They adore him.

My DH is a wonderful patient and loving man. I see every side of him, even the irritable and grumpy bits, we’ve been married for ten years…but he is as loyal as a human could be. He has helped me so much with showing how to argue lovingly, not running away when things get tricky, never ever ever threatening or being violent (I grew up with that) So he’s flawed, like me, but a brilliant person. He’s exactly the guy you need in a crisis.

@FanofLeaves he is beautiful 😍🦊