To be pissed off?

[Shaniah]

so. My girlfriends had arranged my first night out after pregnancy and BFing on Saturday, DH said he would be home for 7 to take over (he was out having food). It got to midnight and he still wasn’t back so I just sat there crying as I was so looking forward to it. When he got home at night night the girls were asking me to still come out, so I smartened myself up and went. A comment that he made to me was that if I don’t have any expectations I can never be let down? It’s playing on my mind

You don’t have to do anything, just be female.

I hope you leave him. He doesn’t like you or respect you and this will only get worse.

He's gaslighting you, trying to make you feel like you're in the wrong for having any expectations of him and is invalidating your feelings as a result. It's abusive.

Bin the bastard , he's abusive and controlling. Done that on purpose

Bless him and his dimness! He actually believes he can behave like a misogynist, selfish twat, totally by his own choice and you will what? Feel sorry for him? Apologise? FUCK THAT OP.
He knew exactly what he was doing, there is literally no confusion, despite what the lying weasel said. What were you crying for? I’d wager it is less than he will be crying for when you have gone!
Get rid of him. He has zero emotional intelligence and is a total twat. You’d be far, far better alone (not least because he is leaving you to do it all alone anyway) He adds nothing, he’s an irritating skin tag that’s needs to be removed.

Because he's vile.

What a selfish asshole, he was probably fully expecting you to not have gone out at midnight and that’s why he left it so late…..the selfish cunt deliberately tried to destroy your night and stop you going out…..is he usually that controlling? I would be furious and arrange another night out for a few weekends time…..hell, why not make it a regular thing, it seems like he has regular nights out with the lads

You had a baby with a prime Grade A asshole.

He knows what ye did and is refusing to acknowledge it, he wants you to believe you are the unreasonable on for thinking he did something wrong …….this is called gaslighting

Stop doing things for him until he starts to appreciate you……and that means no sex, I certainly wouldn’t be having sex with a man who treated me this way

Abuse very often begins when a baby arrives and it looks as if this is what’s happening here. He sounds extremely unpleasant. I am so sorry you are going through this.

He is a prick. He won’t change. He will do this every time you want to go out.

He knows what he did. It's heartbreaking that he knew how let down you would feel about this but did it anyway. Why would he do it other than to make you feel bad?

What a horrible man. He knew exactly what he was doing and did this on purpose to make you feel like shit and ruin your night out.

Well, if he has no expectations of it, he won't be disappointed if he never gets any, will he?

Those are HIS rules, right...?!

Run, don’t walk.
He knows and understands exactly what he did and he chose and planned to do it.
I’ve been there.

Oh sweetie. He knows what he’s doing and he knows it’s wrong. He’s pretending it isn’t so that you question it or think it’s normal.

can you leave? If not, you just make a plan to leave. He will wear you down until you can’t leave.

you deserve so much more than someone who manipulates the situation to ensure control.

Exactly!

He knows.

It always seems to be my reaction that is wrong when he has hurt me, he says I over reacted, possibly but I was hurt as I thought he respected me enough to appreciate that it would be good for me to see my friends. I also asked him to pick up a bottle of wine a few weeks ago and he said I didn’t deserve it. When I ask him what time he is coming home when it gets past 7pm he just says when he is done, obviously it would be nice to know when I am going to be supported with the kids, I work too and couldn’t just do that.

He also suggest I have Asperger Syndrome as I have an issue with time, I really don’t think do!

This is clearly a pattern of abuse and control developing. It will only get worse. You urgently need to talk to someone about this. Have you got parents/family members you can confide in? If not, please make an appointment to see your GP, who should be able to signpost you to support services, or phone Women’s Aid. You need to get support so that you can leave this man and build a better future for you and your DC.

He's 5 hours late and you have a problem with time? And are probably autistic? He's gaslighting you OP. Making you question if there's something wrong with you when your only problem is that you had a baby with a twat. He's controlling you by not coming back to try to ensure you can't go.

When he says you should have no expectations what he's saying is that you can't rely on him for anything, ever. And that's really not what you want in a husband or father.

You really need to leave OP, this is very unlikely to get any better and highly likely to get worse and worse.

My mum keeps asking me what has happened to him as honestly he was great before kids, that is why I just can’t understand all this and how he has changed so much.

The Kids and I were at a family gathering which he couldn’t come to and we called him and asked him to pick us up, 2 hours later I called and he was on loud speaker, he shouted down the phone what are you mithering me for. My family were completely shocked

Do you want your children growing up with him as a role model?