To be pissed off?

[Shaniah]

so. My girlfriends had arranged my first night out after pregnancy and BFing on Saturday, DH said he would be home for 7 to take over (he was out having food). It got to midnight and he still wasn’t back so I just sat there crying as I was so looking forward to it. When he got home at night night the girls were asking me to still come out, so I smartened myself up and went. A comment that he made to me was that if I don’t have any expectations I can never be let down? It’s playing on my mind

So if he was supposed to be eating out but would be home at 7 but didn't get home until midnight or after where on earth was he until that time , and who with.?
What an absolute nasty piece of work to deliberately try and sabotage your night out btw.

He knows and he doesn’t care. He did it to hurt you. He’s punishing you for wanting to go out. He’s vile.

I did call him repeatedly, he didn’t answer until he was on his way home

Low, low, low bar

YANBU. I think I actually would have told him to go and stay somewhere else.

He’s cruel and controlling.

Everything seems to be on his terms and he calls all the shots, since we have had kids things have changed massively

He never answers his phone anymore so I never know when he is coming home from work. It’s awful

he does and he means what he said. have no expectations of him because he won't be delivering. I'd leave and offer contact with baby. you can go out as much as you like when he's got the baby

Seek support, make plans and leave. Do not model this as a relationship to your children

Home late, not answering his phone, bullying you...does he hide his phone as well?

He hates you. He thinks he is superior to you. It was a calculated act to put you in your place.

It really is that simple.

i haven’t done anything for him to hate me,

He does know and doesn't care. What are the consequences for him, after all?

I wouldn’t say he hides it,

Obviously he isn’t scared of losing us.

As I've said about many a man on here, he's a cunt, plain and simple.

I doubt it's an affair. I just think he doesn't give a shit about her now that he believes she's trapped with a baby. It's textbook.

Honestly what you have said makes complete sense! This is exactly how it feels. It was so different before the kids.

No. On the contrary, I would guess he's sure you'll not go anywhere. Perhaps get advice and prove him wrong.

He sounds awful I'm so sorry. As others have said, he is abusing you. It should have been important to him that you got to go out as planned with your friends after sacrificing yourself through pregnancy and breastfeeding. You deserve so much better than this, you sound lovely 💛. It's hard to hear but you and your babies would be so much happier away from this man who clearly doesn't deserve you as his family. Can you go and stay with family/friends? Have you spoken to your friends about the night out and got their take on things? I'd imagine they're livid on your behalf! If he knew you had plans, then he's done it on purpose and that's absolutely not ok.

I'm sorry. It happens so often.

He's utter and complete scum that couldn't care less about you are your children.
Stop wasting time upset.
Look at the practicalities of your situation.

How many children have you?
Housing?
Work?
Money?
Family support?

Controlling behaviour without a doubt.

His behaviour is deliberate. He’s a knob and I think you should be really considering your options in terms of your future.