To think of your child is 5+ and still can’t behave in public, you’re the problem?

[ThatDeepGoose]

I understand developmental delays, this isn’t about that. It’s about basic manners not being taught.

This is a good point.

Fully agree with you. The OP has no idea what she's talking about.

Soeey of interest should have read 'relevant'.

I am reading that OP is saying that up to 5, no parent can be expected for a child to have good manners and behave properly. I don't think she is necessarily talking about others' children, could be to do with her own difficulties managing her own children.

I would like to give a 'relevant' example. I was always a rather strict Mum (generally to apease the grandparents![ then one day in a supermarket car park, I proved it could be worthwhile. I had 3 - 3, 4 and 6, out of the car and was fiddling with the car seat and stroller for the tiddler. I had said not to move but of course they took no notice. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a car coming fast and I literally screamed 'freeze' which they did. I have re-lived that moment for years but I know lots of people must have thought I was a horrible Mum.

My nearly 6 yo is a type A personality. They are determined, confident, really intelligent, really good at sports has lots of friends. I didn’t raise them that way by terrorising them for the small stuff.

If bad behaviour is healthy development, what is good behaviour in your view?

To be fair, I’ve got a ND kid can do that too.

He is a huge flight risk but if you just shout his name and then “STOP!” … he does.

He does also climb on windowsills, nip your arms when you tell him off and scream at the sun. But we’ve got car parks nailed!

🤣 exactly this

You’re changing tact and that doesn’t fly.

‘Kids who can’t behave themselves at 5+ then you’re the problem’ – soooo many kids are still learning about impulse control and regulation at 5+. They can and will act out, whether ND or not. If you see parents tackling it appropriately, is that ok? (by your standards) or is it still unacceptable? (by your standards).

And yes, of course you’re still judging whether or not kid is ND or NT – because you cant know who is.

If you’re judging parents for ignoring their kids or not disciplining to your liking then that’s a different post – not ND kids who have regulation challenges or typical 5-8yr olds whose deregulation might still flare up – because first and foremost they are still children.

Make a coherent post. Or better, don’t, because the lazy parenting threads are ten a penny.

My mother doesn't always behave outside the house. I've gone NC.

My question is thatif bad = healthy, what does good

Really? What's your definition of behaving badly?