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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why why why are they like this!!!

330 replies

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 09:37

My boyfriend stayed overnight at my house for the first time on Wednesday.

We both had yesterday off so had a lazy morning watching tv in bed.

He broke wind really loud and grabbed my head and forced it under the covers, I couldn’t move from under them for about 10 seconds.

He thought it was hilarious, I told him I’m a 37 year old woman and don’t appreciate that.

I think it’s the fact we’d not long been intimate and he was being really jokey.

I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good, but I don’t agree!

OP posts:
Huhuhuhu39272 · 26/09/2025 11:06

Holy red flag 🚩

Unless you both do that kinda funk to each other

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/09/2025 11:06

"I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good"

Your "friend" is an idiot - do they always prioritise men over women?
How lovely he is comfortable around you - bless.
No thought as to how comfortable you might be being naked and vulnerable around someome who finds it hilarious to physically force you do to something you are very unhappy about (l;eaving aside how gross & juvinile it is). But at least the man is "comfortable" with YOU!

This is some world class Stepford Wives gaslighting and manipulation right there. Know your place OP (which BTW is far far far away from dickheads like this).

ConstitutionHill · 26/09/2025 11:08

Oh God! Farting is one thing but the forcing of your head, that's really concerning. He's comfortable man-handling you.

Tatiepot · 26/09/2025 11:08

@Hellofrances I don't think you do need to think love, I think you need to bin him. Using his strength against you is completely unacceptable...and that's before the revolting "joke".

SpiralSister · 26/09/2025 11:08

This specimen has not reached entry level human. Absolutely vile. And take note of the comments around forcing you - that is really scary.

coravantexel · 26/09/2025 11:10

Imagine if your daughter came home and told you this had happened to her. What would you advise her to do?

There is only one course of action in my opinion, which is to listen to your sense of self-respect and kick him to the curb. Don’t waste your one wild and precious life with someone that would do this to you. You deserve so much better!

BlusteryLake · 26/09/2025 11:10

Performative farting is the sign of an immature prick. It's the sort of thing teenage boys find funny then move on.

NebulousSadTimes · 26/09/2025 11:11

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 10:14

Thanks all, this is the first red flag and out of the blue. I need to think about what to do now.

I'm glad you're considering whether it's a good idea to carry on with this 'man'. It's very possible that this is the cold water to your frog - a test to see if you'll accept it, this 'tiny' thing. The next thing will be slightly warmer but more harmful to you.

If you call a halt to the relationship citing the dutch oven behaviour you'll be called a prude or some other criticism that's meant to belittle you and excuse him and his behaviour. Be prepared for that. You'll be the only one in the wrong, having done nothing wrong.

Cherryicecreamx · 26/09/2025 11:12

Ew. As if you're going to be attracted to him doing stuff like that. Almost feels like since he had been intimate with you, there was no need to impress anymore! Disgusting 🤢

curious79 · 26/09/2025 11:12

yuk!!! Instant irreversible ick

How does a grown man, let alone a teenage one, even think that's funny.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 26/09/2025 11:12

I think there are two things here. Different senses of humour / things that people are comfortable with in a relationship. If one person is into toilet humour and the other really isn't, they might be able to compromise or they might be incompatible. It's one of those things

However grabbing you, manhandling you and physically keeping you in a situation you're not enjoying would be a massive red flag for me. He is not afraid to use his force against you, in a situation you weren't comfortable with and that's hugely concerning. No doubt he will dress it up as a 'joke' but it shows he doesn't have those boundaries that other people have. Please take this really seriously

Nestingbirds · 26/09/2025 11:12

That would be the first and very last night he spent with me. Absolutely revolting.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 26/09/2025 11:16
  1. it’s disgusting
  2. he forced you

If a guy did that to me, his feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

BangingOn · 26/09/2025 11:16

That would be a deal breaker for me. Partly because it’s gross and I don’t find stuff like that funny, but more importantly because he used physical strength to force me to do something despite my discomfort. You shouldn’t have to laugh that off.

Fernticket · 26/09/2025 11:16

🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮Gross.

nightmarepickle2025 · 26/09/2025 11:16

Clear dumpable offence

YourWinter · 26/09/2025 11:17

He wouldn’t have another opportunity to share a bed with me after such juvenile, repulsive and frankly abusive behaviour. Life’s too short to waste on a disgusting man. You won’t forget this.

Xiaoxiong · 26/09/2025 11:18

I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good, but I don’t agree

I also don't agree. Your friend may find it amusing to hear about it happening to someone else but I guarantee she wouldn't like it at all if it was happening to her.

I'd throw this one straight back. Be prepared for

  • it was a joke, can't you take a joke
  • you're so lame
  • I can't believe you're such a prude
  • don't be such a bore
  • etc etc
LaughingCat · 26/09/2025 11:22

I’m sorry…I laughed. I can’t help it - I have the sense of humour of a 15yo boy. I know it’s not big or clever but a well-executed Dutch oven still makes me chuckle.

It might just be different senses of humour. Some are horrified by something like this and others aren’t. Neither are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

However, you have now made it clear that you don’t appreciate the joke. If he didn’t apologise or if he ever did it again, then he will have crossed a line and made it clear that he doesn’t respect your wishes.

brightbrightness · 26/09/2025 11:22

You need better friends.

I would end a relationship with a man who did this. And no man ever has. Someone using their greater strength to force you to do anything is a deal killer, and to force you to do something so disgusting and humiliating is worse.

I actually hope this is a fictional OP. Its depressing a woman would question herself as to whether she was being U to be repulsed by a man who did this.

OneFineDay22 · 26/09/2025 11:23

Is your friend also a teenager? Wtaf? Even if my teenage boyfriend had done this it would have been over, let alone a supposedly grown man.

nosleepforme · 26/09/2025 11:25

Ew. Disrespectful, immature and probably scary in the moment.

nomoreforks · 26/09/2025 11:26

I would rather be alone than date someone who would do something like that. Horrible and very immature.

AdjectiveColourAnimal · 26/09/2025 11:28

The farting wouldn't bother me that much. Forcing your head under the covers and holding you there is unforgivable in my opinion. Huge red flag.

CatrionaBalfour · 26/09/2025 11:28

LaughingCat · 26/09/2025 11:22

I’m sorry…I laughed. I can’t help it - I have the sense of humour of a 15yo boy. I know it’s not big or clever but a well-executed Dutch oven still makes me chuckle.

It might just be different senses of humour. Some are horrified by something like this and others aren’t. Neither are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

However, you have now made it clear that you don’t appreciate the joke. If he didn’t apologise or if he ever did it again, then he will have crossed a line and made it clear that he doesn’t respect your wishes.

Could you "execute" this particular prank against a man? Someone stronger than you?
I don't think so