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Original poster

Why why why are they like this!!!

330 replies

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 09:37

My boyfriend stayed overnight at my house for the first time on Wednesday.

We both had yesterday off so had a lazy morning watching tv in bed.

He broke wind really loud and grabbed my head and forced it under the covers, I couldn’t move from under them for about 10 seconds.

He thought it was hilarious, I told him I’m a 37 year old woman and don’t appreciate that.

I think it’s the fact we’d not long been intimate and he was being really jokey.

I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good, but I don’t agree!

OP posts:
SassyCow · 26/09/2025 16:44

Gosh no, that's absolutely disgusting 🤢

MrsMitford3 · 26/09/2025 16:44

ghostchilli · 26/09/2025 10:31

That’s something my 6 year old would have done to his little sister.
He grew out of it by about 9. How old is your boy?

I was literally going to post this exact same thing!
Including DS being age 6.

The farting part is juvenile and revolting.
The holding your head under the covers forcibly is controlling and frightening.

None of the above are attractive qualities in a partner.

But the bottom line is it is a very very unloving action.
It reminds me of the grooms who forcibly smash their brides faces in their wedding cake.
That is not love.

Why would you consider being with someone who treats you so appallingly?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/09/2025 16:48

I’d have hated that. I don’t find that shit funny at all.

He’s gross, OP. Get rid.

ZingyLemonMoose · 26/09/2025 16:50

Do it back. That’ll show you how funny he finds it. Then leave him.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 26/09/2025 17:01

No way I go near a man who has used his strength against me. Never.

usedtobeaylis · 26/09/2025 17:05

No thanks. A good example of 'boys will be boys' and a good example of why it's utter bullshit. Nope.

usedtobeaylis · 26/09/2025 17:07

SirRaymondClench · 26/09/2025 15:54

If he's doing stuff like that to you then who gives a shit if he's comfortable around you or not?
Women don't exist just to make men comfortable.

Put him in the bin, now.

Exactly. 'It's a sign he's comfortable' as if that's what women strive for in life. Fuck that.

CeffylCoch · 26/09/2025 17:16

That’s not in the slightest bit funny. Tell him to fuck off, he has no respect for you

FriendlyGreenAlien · 26/09/2025 17:16

How did he react when you told him how you feel?

If he was prepared to listen, and to apologise for misjudging whether you would be ok with it, there’s probably hope.

If he got defensive, “you can’t take a joke” or anything like that, run for the hills. How he reacts when you disagree with him is a really important thing to know.

BankfieldForever · 27/09/2025 00:20

SamPoodle123 · 26/09/2025 14:08

How sad, those are definitely not jokes! I can’t believe your sister stayed.

OP leave now. Much easier done early with the first bad sign!

Show quote history

It was the early 1970’s in a poor northern town and she was 19 with zero self esteem when she met him.

Anyone working class who is old enough to remember the ‘Ripper Enquiry’ will know how relationships like these and shocking misogyny in general were widely accepted back then.

We’ve got a long way to go as a society, but we’ve also come a long way.

LibbyOTV · 27/09/2025 00:23

My DP has occasionally done things like this that feel big bully brother-y, like wrestling me to the floor or something. It's SUCH a turn off, I hate it. Ive said don't ever do that again. And I would haaate what he did to you OP, its disrespectful, immature and really odd if you don't even know someone that well.

TeddySchnauzer · 27/09/2025 01:39

Have you decided what you’re going to do, op?

StrongLikeMamma · 27/09/2025 01:46

Jesus

Iwishthiswasnottrue · 27/09/2025 01:49

Is he 12?

Pinkfeatheredflamingos · 27/09/2025 18:17

Very concerning at his use of force. I'd be very very wary.

Grammarninja · 27/09/2025 18:44

If it gave you the ick, say goodbye. You can't return from the ick unfortunately. If it was playful, not totally disgusting to you and he's a bit of craic otherwise maybe make it clear you're not into being dutch-ovened and see what transpires.

Thewitchsong · 27/09/2025 18:53

Please walk away now

My ex used to do this to me (the context is im 5'7 and a size 14,he was 6'3 and a huge build)

He started off with these unfunny 'jokes' and I ended it when he tried to strangle me using sex as 'it turns you on'

It didnt and he could have permanently brain damaged me or even killed me (to this day he thinks he did nothing wrong)

It's not on-a joke is funny when both are laughing,not when one person uses brute strength and the other isn't laughing

ManyATrueWord · 27/09/2025 18:57

I know a man who finds that joke a funny one to play. He has a terrible temper that he loses regularly and his children show signs of emotional abuse. A stretch? Maybe, but that is a sign that someone doesn't care about you as a person.

Vanishedwillow · 27/09/2025 19:17

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 10:14

Thanks all, this is the first red flag and out of the blue. I need to think about what to do now.

How did he respond when you expressed your discomfort? Did he get all sulky or was he apologetic?

Wildefish · 27/09/2025 19:17

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 09:37

My boyfriend stayed overnight at my house for the first time on Wednesday.

We both had yesterday off so had a lazy morning watching tv in bed.

He broke wind really loud and grabbed my head and forced it under the covers, I couldn’t move from under them for about 10 seconds.

He thought it was hilarious, I told him I’m a 37 year old woman and don’t appreciate that.

I think it’s the fact we’d not long been intimate and he was being really jokey.

I told one of my friends who found it amusing and said it’s a sign he’s comfortable around me which is good, but I don’t agree!

I wouldn’t be having him stay over again tbh. That’s gross.

MsPavlichenko · 27/09/2025 19:20

Hellofrances · 26/09/2025 10:14

Thanks all, this is the first red flag and out of the blue. I need to think about what to do now.

Yes. “They” aren’t like this. He is. Massive red flag, and helpfully early on. Not much thinking required imo. Ditch, block and look up the Freedom Programme.

Twinmum345 · 27/09/2025 19:27

oldclock · 26/09/2025 09:39

First and last time, presumably you've told him the relationship is over?

do you stamp your feet and quit everything when something you don’t like happens?

op communicate with him he may have thought you would laugh it’s not a big deal. Tell him not to do it again

Blablibladirladada · 27/09/2025 19:48

How old did you say you are?
please tell us you blocked him and you won’t see him again…

Efrogwraig · 27/09/2025 19:53

Nope. He's not a keeper.

JaquelineHide · 27/09/2025 19:54

That is foul. I sould have dumped him on the spot.