Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

It's the person who's in the way who needs to say excuse me though. It's not on the other people to ask to be excused.

There's a difference between being a little slow or clumsy, and acting as though you're the only person in the universe. I don't mind someone taking their time choosing a yoghurt but it annoys me if someone's standing in a tight space or doorway messing about on their phone; or (worst thing) people standing on a staircase having a conversation. That said, I wouldn't be rude about it, I'd say 'excuse me please'.

These people sound rude. In all of the examples i would usually just say "Sorry excuse me but you're next / I need to get into that fridge etc."

It's very British to say excuse apologise when someone is in your way but those people were plain rude.

I knew this was coming .

I'm glad you love technology. I'm glad you also don't find yourself overwhelmed by constant "information" and choices. I personally do and think many also do.

I'm also glad you don't feel pressured into being the perfect mum and wife but also the perfect employee pressured to get the latest MSc.

Just because "raping your wife" was legal in the 1950s- doesn't mean it was happening by most loving husbands. It's also still legal today (have a go at taking marital rape to a court... ) it just looks good to make it illegal on paper. It's nothing more than a virtue signal.

Op move to Scotland. Generally people are much more friendly and helpful, ready to wait while another sorts themselves out. They would have tapped you on the shoulder, not barged past. Sometimes they get in your way, but always apologise when they realise, etc. In general, obv.

Sounds like you're a bit dilatory tbh. You may have all the time in the world but other people don't, perhaps you were standing infront of the lady for longer than you thought.

I do agree that they could have been more polite, I certainly would have been. But also be aware of your surroundings.

I love how Scottish/Irish/Welsh people aren't afraid to be proud of their heritage and country and boast about their good points. I wish people in England were like that. It's all self flagellation and beration and self shaming .

Most of us lead busy lives but that’s no excuse for shoving someone in a supermarket because they were in your way for a few seconds.

You could say op should be more aware of her surroundings, especially as it happened 3 times, maybe it’s a bit of bad luck, but equally, these people sounded rude, impatient and could do with practising a bit of self control. You don’t need to react that way and make someone feel shit.

The only way you can get people to patiently wait these days is to put them in front of a historic landmark.

Rubbish! We should all be allowed to go about our business at our own speed. Why on earth would I care if I wasn't rushing fast enough for the frustrated, ill-mannered person next to me? Their circus, their monkeys. They can just f**k orff!

I have noticed that since Covid people seen to be ruder, louder and more hostile. Not everyone and not all the time but I have noticed a change. Why? life is tough for lots of us, technology seems to rule everything, it is fine when it works but frustrating when it doesn't. The pace of life is fast and many of us are rushing just to try and get through the demands of each day. I let a man go ahead of me in the supermarket queue the other day as he only had a few things, not one word of thanks nor a smile, just shoved his way past me and I thought "oh well, I did try to help and I hope it made his day a little easier" and just shrugged to myself.

It sounds like you are unaware of your surroundings, people have busy lives especially if working and get fed up of waiting for people who might be daydreaming or looking at their phone. Time is precious and yes maybe they are snappy but maybe you are the problem?

My DS 17 is learning to drive currently and the way people drive on the roads where we live is frankly dangerous. I'm a careful but not slow driver & I'm always on the lookout for potential hazards and lots of drivers simply have no manners at all on the roads & motorways these days. It's very sad and worrying. Every time I use my car lately they'll be someone driving far, far too close to me or someone who cuts across my path dangerously. I have dashcam and every week there is footage I could probably submit.

Crikey OP, such rudeness. Where on earth do you live? Clearly a place where “excuse me” isn’t in common usage, or how about “ it’s your turn” and maybe a gentle tap on the arm. I’m surprised at so many PP saying it’s your fault or calling you a dozy dawdler.

One day taking my mum out shopping I let her got out of the car in a multistory car park while I backed in a small space. A lady came up the ramp drove right up to my mum and pipped her with the horn. I was livid. Mum was really shocked and could have fallen over. Yes she was standing in the way and yes she was a dozy dawdler but she’s elderly and walks with a stick. A simple,”excuse me” out the window would have been adequate.

I agree, such self-importance with some people!

This.

Sorry op but I'll be honest I hate dawdlers and people who stand in the way of where everyone else needs to be.

You could have checked your list anywhere. If I check my phone list, I make sure am out of the way of anyone before I do.

I don't stand in the middle of aisles yapping and I don't dawdle when am getting things.

I'm aware it's irritating to me so I try my best not to be irritating to others. If you want to do quieter and slower shopping, go later at night, it's heavenly and more quiet. You can dawdle to your heart's content 😉. My local b&m is open until 9pm so I go around 8 midweek. No kids, no queues and can shop in relative peace.

I just find being around too much noise and people irritates me. I am always polite though and I don't snap at people. I dont think they should have been rude to you though. They can ask politely first.

I do think you should try and be a little more aware of your surroundings before you do things though. Some of us don't have the luxury to zone out in queues and I have ADHD! I'm supposed to be the zoner outer 😁😁😁😁😁😁

I agree with that though, absolutely no excuse to be rude.

We will all get old one day and some people treat old people appallingly.__

There are two types of people. Those who like to get the task done efficiently, with minimum time and faffing and then there are life’s dawdlers, who go about in a dream, driving and walking everywhere incredibly and unnecessarily slowly with little awareness of their surroundings or how it impacts on those around them.

It must be very pleasant to go through your life with the feeling of having all the time in the world, I’m not one of them, but there certainly seems to be a lot out there.

Can you daydream if you work then?

@Errolwasahero my son has just moved to Glasgow and he absolutely loves it. He says the people are amazing, so friendly and lovely. I’m from NE England myself but lived most my adult life in the SE, and he has only experienced the SE till now. I’m so glad he’s getting to experience some northern warmth and charm.

To be harsh OP you sound like the type of person who gives ne the rage. Completely unaware of what is going on around you, waiting in a queue and not checking when your turn is, blocking access to goods while on your phone 😡You may have time to piss away, I do not.

OP should not have to do her shopping at 9pm just to accommodate irritable, rude, aggressive people.

You need to put your phone away. It gets peoples' backs up to see someone gawping at a screen and holding them up.

And yet you do have time to post about it on MN.

This.

You seem incredibly oblivious, OP. To fail to see that what happens to most of us perhaps once every few years, happened to you 3 times in one morning might indicate that it's you causing the issue...but to then to be so offended by what you are effectively causing that you write a thread about everyone being "impatient and nasty", is really lacking in self awareness.

People are definitely in more of a hurry, the world evolves. Manners are falling, as a sweeping generalisation. You are seeing the extreme end of this, that most of us don't, because of your dawdling, daydreaming and having your head in your phone. You are exasperating people. By all means, dawdle, but equally, get out of the way of people who need to go at normal pace. It seems that you are recognising that you are holding people up but not making the connection that it's not ok to do that several times a day, or be surprised that people are frustrated by this?