Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

Green fairy you have been the rudest in this thread.

I kid you not, I have just been in the car driving and came up to a zebra crossing. A guy was walking up to the zebra crossing with his eyes glued to his phone. He obviously wanted to cross the road so I stopped to let him cross. The guy stopped right at the curb ready to cross, eyes still engrossed in his phone blissfully unaware I’m sat there waiting for him to cross. I waited a while before deciding to continue driving. Only when my car started moving again did he realise I’d been sat there waiting for him to cross!

Not by far.

For the last time. I don't expect people to hurry up for me, I just expect them to be self aware enough to share the space in a way that I can move around them without being held up. I also stay out of their way out of common courtesy.

You're the one that went on a rant at me about disabled people with angry emojis, accusing me of things I never said and wittering on about your doctor. I call that rude.

Oh dear , bad luck I guess .
if I was behind you in the post office I’d catch your attention and say “ hi 👋 think you’re next “
and I wouldn’t get mad if you were blocking my access to the supermarket fridge,” I’d say excuse me could I just “

Been said already I can see, but I don't think the first example was your fault. You don't have eyes in the back of your head. The person behind should be more aware.

Ugh so many rude PPs, if they really behave how they say!

I have had incredibly busy jobs, seriously unwell family members, my own health problems, and now have a small DC. I have NEVER been a deliberate twat to anyone in a queue or shop!

Why would you want to teach your DC impatience, intolerance and rudeness?? Just a no from me.

GreenFairy93

A lot of us are very time poor.
I work full time and have a toddler and lots of family that I need to visit regularly. That leaves me rushing to get things done a lot of the time and it's infuriating that people just dawdle like they have nothing better to do than spend 3 hours doing the weekly shop, clogging up the aisle while looking at something and being completely ignorant to the fact that no one can get past or get to the shelves when all I want to do is find the thing I'm looking for, grab it and leave. Times this by ten different people and people dawdling on the car park so I can't even get out of the place in less than 15 minutes and it's a frustrating experience.
If you want to take your time doing these things because you have nowhere else you need to be and aren't in a rush, that's fine but you need to make sure you're not in everyone else's way because a lot of us don't have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. And we can't just allow more time/leave earlier like people like to tell us to do because before the current task, there was a different task that also had to be squeezed in, it's just modern family life.
The examples you give make it sound like you were in peoples way and they were probably rushing, if so many people have complained and it's not just a one off that would suggest it is actually a thing you're doing and not just one or two huffy people.

Time poor person here too who works on a checkout. Honestly maybe if you have that little time to shop and you’re that aggregated you need to find another way to do it or enlist help of some form. I honestly mean that. Sorry things are hard. Juggling is insanely difficult four kids, elderly relatives, ft job and last year I realised with all my non stop running, speeding in the car, lists, tension etc I was headed for a heart attack so made changes. Asked people at the school for help, asked work could I do weekends instead of two of the school days etc. Look at what’s stressing you and figure out what iou can change. It’s not good for you

If other people are not being well-mannered (by being aware of what they are doing, by not caring if they delay other people etc) then they can - I anticipate - assume that most people (me included) will not bother being polite to them and may well be sharp or rough with them.

If, however, people (both the faster and the slower) accept that people have different priorities, schedules and abilities then that is likely to result in everyone being able to get on better, and that is basic manners.

Or if you need an example to understand, if you are in my way and I ask you politely to move and you say "oh, sorry, didn't spot you there", I will likely respond "no, problem" and wait for you to move aside. If I do the same and you gawp at me, don't move or assert your right to get in everybody else's way I am likely to simply barge past you, because you are being rude and I'm not going to waste my time being polite when you aren't being.

If I am aware that you can't move rapidly, of course I will wait - that is good manners and tolerance. If I am not, then who knows? But if I ask you to get out of my way I will always do it politely first off, and if you say "sorry, I need a little more time", I'm likely to continue to be polite, because I'm not a monster.

But let's think about tolerance and consideration. If you can, you might consider that you would be considerate to all of the busy people out there by trying to do your shopping at quieter times (of course, if you can't, you can't) or by in fact doing your shopping online. That is just as independent as tooling round the shops. Going out to shop is obviously important to you, but that might well be the case to the Mum in a rush, the Dad working two jobs, the overworked teacher etc. So you do not have an absolute right to go as slowly as you want/as fast as you are able without people feeling that you are infringing on their priorities and responding accordingly.

Which brings me back round to the politeness point: if you don't behave like you have a god-given right to do what you want, and are pleasant, friendly, self-aware and aware of the delay you might be causing to other people (and apologise where you can) you will likely find that the vast majority are polite and pleasant too.

You seem to think that your limited mobility makes your priorities more objectively important than those of other people. It doesn't. If your disability is not visible people may not know it is a case of "can't" rather than "won't". Not saying you need to make it clear to every Tom, Dick and Harry, but surely for the "can't" people, you should be "on the side" of those saying we all need to be polite, because I can tell you that the person who is rude to you may well would not have been rude to you if they hadn't already encountered a number of "won't" people. It's really not personal, we are just competing for the same space as you with limited time. So share as best you can, and we all will too.

So I should wait for a group of people who could walk single filed and are refusing to move and is barring me from getting to my own home because I can’t safely put my pram in the street to go past them despite asking politely repeatedly if I can pass?

You must be one such people or have all the time int he world and it is never a few seconds when they are just talking to each other and walking slowly and/or on their phone, during a known busy time of day.

You said you would treat people sharply and roughly if they are walking slowly. Thats I why I got angry. You are self entitled saying that. The world doesn't revolve around you rushing everywhere.

I’ll be honest, people who are like a fart in a trance in public CAN get on my nerves a bit. But I’m always polite and never show it!

If people are so time poor, manage your time better, re- arrange life, so you dont have to rush around in a frenzy. Being busy doesn't make you more important.

OP, I also wonder if you are reading a lot into interactions. While the incidents (or at least the first two) do sound a bit rude, I feel you may giving them a bit more headspace than is healthy. I also wonder if the third woman was actually rude at all. It isn't really rude to say excuse me to get something out of a fridge that someone is standing in front of, especially as even though you know you are only glancing down at your list, she has no idea and just sees you looking at your phone. With her, I wonder if you could have been reading too much into the situation.

But not everyone is aware. You have no idea what is going on in someone's day. I have ADHD, I space out sometimes, not much I can do about that. Not all disabilities are mobility related or visible. Just the other day I was walking round the supermarket in a trance because I had just had some shocking news about the death of a friend. You and others are just proving OP's point about the lack of tolerance and patience in most people these days.

Sending love. Some posters just don't get it.

Hmm...I'm in two minds. One the one hand there are a suprising number of people who do seem to struggle with normal little human interactions like this and whose default is to get bolshy straight off the bat. So you might have had the misfortune to run into three of them in quick succession.

On the other, if (like I suspect most people), I'm not stood in a post office queue or at the supermarket for fun, but just want to get the job done ASAP in order to move on to other things, then dawdlers and the spatially unaware can be a right pain in the arse. So long as you're not one of those who habitually stops in doorways or as soon as you get off an escalator to ponder where to go next then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

The escalator thing drives me mad. Someone stands at the top of the escalator for a few seconds pondering what to do. Meanwhile there is almost a massive pile up of people behind them which then causes the risk of people falling backwards or forwards due to the crowding. Those who caused the pile up just walk off blissfully unaware of the massive accident they almost caused.

It doesn’t revolve around you moving slowly either - which is rather my point. We all have to compromise, not just impose our will on others. But if that is what you do expect other people to give you it back, possibly in spades.

I carnt control how slowly I move, I carnt compromise on that, I wish I could . You are showing how intolerant you are towards people with disabilities. Well done you

And having all the time in the world doesn’t mean you can hold others up because you have the luxury of time.

There are some things that cannot be helped and holding up one person could mean holding up others.

If you have all the time in the world then you have the pick of the times to do what you want. Just because one is not in a hurry doesn’t mean one should not consider that others are.