Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

So many idiots gawping at their phones, people dawdling or just stoping in the middle of a shoping aisle talking, or watching tumble weed roll by.
Blocking doors ways, tops / bottom of escalators talking or phone gawping.
Just bloody well move!

Seems a coincidence. Sounds like you’re a bit annoying if I’m honest!
Lots of us have busy lives and places to be and it sounds like you’re in no rush and bumble through life!

I think the first example-someone standing right behind you when you’re trying to get out a trolley-is a ‘them’ problem not a ‘you’ problem. I’d had said something back to them-like ‘my goodness why on earth would anybody stand so close behind when you can see what I’m doing?’ And give them a death stare too. Fancy snapping about that !
The other stuff sounds like a ‘you’ problem though OP-you need to be more aware of your surroundings.

Taxi drivers do this all the time, beep at you if its just a second over their usual pulling away time.

I don't think people are as at 'capacity' as they make out, as they make out, more likely on their phones too much.

I said excuse me politely to someone blocking the entire entrance (electronic gate style not the shop itself) this morning, she stood and continued to chat to her husband, I raised my voice to ask the question again and got told to calm down! I presumed she hadn't heard the first time hence the louder voice, so I suggested they didn't block the entrance in future!

No need for people to be so rude, but you are not totally innocent here.

YABU, you need to be more aware of your surroundings.

It sounds like your behaviour is irritating people.

You do seem to keep getting in the way of people.

First example was them.not you. The next one was a bit of both - the cashier could have shouted next please! Last one was more you.

I'm planting my arse firmly on the fence with this one - you were in the way but others could have alerted you without being so aggressive.
As a pp said if you are time poor you simply don't have the spare seconds to wait for multiple people every day.

For me its the elderly that stand too close. Before covid and contactless payments, elderly people used to hover right next to me when I was entering my PIN. I asked, nicely, could they step back. They reacted like I said something very horrible to them. It was always the elderly, never the young/mid age people that did this.

Probably a slightly less sympathetic response from me, but this is a bugbear of mine when out in public, at the sheer number of people who seem to have a complete lack of spatial awareness.

Ive lost count at how many times I’ve been bumped into by people ‘backing up’ with their trollers in tow, without thinking to look to see if there is anyone behind them. I’m never nasty but I’ve trained myself out of a lifetime habit of the British way of saying ‘sorry’ when it was very clearly the other person’s fault, and say a loud ‘careful!’ Instead.

Same goes for people blocking aisles, i totally get having to check a list, but that can be done somewhere not blocking access to a fridge or section of a shelf.

I do think you are maybe not being very aware of your surroundings at the moment, and agree with other posts saying that many are time poor and rushing. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone pushing and shoving, but particularly in the post office example, this is usually a task people do on their lunch break from work so I get why the person behind was visibly annoyed.

Yep. They were rude but you sound away with the fairies and a bit annoying in shops.

But it is frustrating when someone is standing for several minutes pondering the yoghurts when you just want to grab a pot of Skyr and keep going. I've been the dawdler and the person in a hurry but I always apologise if someone irritably says 'Excuse me' and I realise I've been in a world of my own. Dawdling in busy places is just as rude and antisocial as snapping at people.

Perhaps it’s because many people are in a hurry and get irritated with ditherers and faffers.

I know I do, whether I’m in a hurry or not. Not that I ever say anything, I will just fume internally at the ditherer/faffer who’s holding everybody else up.

Have you been driving in Leeds? All drivers behind you beep within a nanosecond of the lights turning green. As experienced this myself when lived there for a few years. I have turned into a Leeds driver as usually the driver at the front of the lights are either checking their phone, or another time, a lady applying mascara.

Can't say I've noticed this and have been driving almost every day for over 20 years

Yesterday I was in a long Q at temporary lights with the person at the front just sat there with a green light and a clear road ahead, I assume looking at their phone. It meant far fewer cars got through than should have - I bet they'd say it was "just a second" too

The phrase you are looking for is ‘excuse me please’ or ‘pardon me, I just need to grab something from behind you.’

Being time poor is no excuse for appalling behaviour. You are also modelling behaviour for your kids to learn.

Each of those examples could have easily been avoided, you are at fault in all of them, you need to be aware of your surroundings. I obviously don’t condone people being rude but how long are we expected to wait for you to notice others around you? I am never openly rude to people oblivious of others and holding me up but it is annoying

Yeah, sorry. I agree with this.

That’s what the lady said to OP though, she said excuse me and let op know she needed to be in a fridge yet op thought was that rude

I hope you apologised for being in the way. Its not nasty or impatient to say excuse me - and your sensitivity to bit of an eye roll is exaggerated. How long do you expect someone to wait while you obliviously burry your head in a phone. Supermarkets are not fun, it's time consuming and expensive. Its an unpleasant necessity, and you were inadvertently adding to the stress almost everyone feels doing it. Personally I never get involved with my phone unless I'm positioned to be in no ones way in the supermarket. To me that's just good manners. Same goes for the post office or any other public area where people are trying to get things done. Your being over sensitive.

I was referring to people who are too time poor to make their intentions clear before barging past people not to the ops particular scenarios. However, ‘excuse me please’ is all the person needed to say. Not “I need to be in that fridge” because the op has just as much right to be in that fridge.

It’s like people who come up to a queue and ask ‘are you queuing?’ No I’m stood here for my health, crack on.

It might make sense if it was only the dawdlers lacking in awareness, but usually it’s the rushers who are equally as unaware and make a big scene trying to barge in front only to end up back in the same position because they didn’t have the awareness to assess the situation first.

Sorry to say unit YABVU. When I go to a supermarket for essential items I have left 4 small children at home and am under serious time pressure to get back for bed time and all the nightly pressure. If you are in my way daydreaming or engrossed on your phone I will be mildly frustrated in my tone. If you want to be on your phone fine, work away but be courteous enough to not get in my way. If someone was frustrated enough and able to walk past you and ahead of you then it wasn’t seconds and you were clearly oblivious to what’s going on around you