Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

I think you are getting a hard time here OP, I do find dawdlers/phone people annoying but the stressed rude people even more so. Absolutely no excuse to behave like that

In the trolley instance: do your sake, when you’re out and about in public you really should be aware of someone has come up behind you close enough for you to bump into them reversing a trolley out of its caboose. That’s for your own safety. It’s exactly the same skill as being aware if someone is close enough to out their hand in your handbag.

For the post office incident: scrabbling in your bag looking for something shouldn’t mean you take your eye off the queue, especially when you’re next in line. It’s really basic multi-tasking. There’s a queue, so you know there are people waiting for their turn. I’m afraid it’s basic respect to ensure you don’t hold them up. Feel around in your bag, look for the thing when you get to the window, allow the person behind you to go first.

The standing in front of the fridge incident sounds like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Sooooo annoying when people do this, but there was no need for her to be so rude.

Sorry but this sounds like you. People walking backwards do my head in. Fucking look where you're going!

Similarly, people stopping dead in the aisle or at the bottom of escalators or in front of the fridges to look at their phone is frustrating. Move out of the way.

Queues: pay attention to what is going on around you!

I strongly suspect your "literally a few seconds" in the post office and "quickly" checking your list are much longer than you realise OP

As others have said I think you need to try to be more aware of your surroundings and other people. You do sometimes happen across extremely rude, impatient people, but 3 in 1 shopping trip and a server who sided with one of them? Far more likely to me that you were the problem

You sound a bit like my mum in that she has absolutey no awareness of what's going on around her, and so she can end up in people's way without realising it. No excuse for rudeness and pushing, though.

There needs to be more consideration all around in my opinion.

It is courteous to remain aware of your surroundings when in busy public spaces, but there is no excuse for rudeness. You shouldn’t have to tolerate that. No one knows what is going on for others so the benefit of the doubt should be the default if someone is slow to react. Would people have been so rude to a frail elderly person? I hope not!

OP, do make sure you’re well and getting enough sleep. Someone I worked with developed inattentive periods, only for seconds, but eventually one of us gently brought it up with him. He went to his GP and it turned out that he was having minor seizures that needed treatment.

And to those who are always rushing around, that is a you problem. Others are not obliged to live their lives at the same pace and courtesy to others is not an optional extra. If you’re too busy to shop courteously, order online.

As others have said, you sound oblivious to your surroundings and others. You may have all the time in the world, you may like to go slowly, but that doesn’t mean others are the same. When I take a trolley out of the line, I always skim my eyes around before I move. If I’m next in line in a queue to be served, my full attention is on looking ahead at which cashier is free. If I need to check my list in a supermarket, I stand out of the way of fridges etc, I go to somewhere that is empty. You need to learn basic skills tbh OP.

You’re probably daydreaming way longer than you realise!! It’s happening too often. I can’t think of times when this happened to me.
But blaming the cashier for not stopping the next customer? Come on!

The 1950s when men could legally rape their wives, women didn't have bank accounts, and contraception didn't exist?

I'm over a decade older than you and love technology, it's amazing. Except ai 😄

“I need to be in that fridge!”

I would have just told her she wouldn't fit

Totally agree with you - the absolute death stares I get sometimes in the shop should I dare to round a corner with my trolley and not have seen 2 seconds into the future that someone was about to come the other way!

Lighten the fuck up, literally nothing happened!! I'm like "whoops, nearly!" and people glare at you like you have murdered their entire family

People have zero patience. If they have to queue for a millisecond, they tut, sigh, roll their eyes.

There is nothing positive to achieve from being rude, impatient and nasty towards people. Both fellow customers and staff.

I do not like couples that block a chiller, ask nicely could they let you get access to chiller. They grunt and refuse to move. The elderly are the worst for this. Because of this, you carry on with the rest of the shopping and forget to go back to the chiller.

These are the people I call The Statues. The dawdlers who stand in the middle of the supermarket aisle and don't notice anyone around them or wanting to reach a shelf. 'Aagh, a Statue' I seethe to myself as I walk away to another aisle or part of the shop and come back later hoping they'll have moved by then. I avoid getting into it with them but they do infuriate me, hence walking away. I wouldn't rush past the person in the queue at the post office, though. I might say 'You're next' or something, or just wait for the counter staff to signal, as I seethe.

I think this is a you problem, you’re unaware and oblivious to what’s going on around you. Maybe you need a chaperone 🤣

I think it’s a melting pot of post covid and social media. People are getting used to instant gratification, becoming more insular and inward looking etc this is lowering tolerance levels, increasing anxiety and basically I think the breaking down of the social contract. People don’t really care about others anymore and generally seem to think it’s ok to be borderline rude/abusive.

Re: Lady who said she needed to be in that fridge - I’d have just moved and said, Be my guest - but it’ll be a bit cold.”

Whilst these people were rude I do find it really annoying how much people just stand/walk in the way of other people all the time. It just strikes me as a bit selfish in all honesty. Likewise, post office queues can be really long and stressful if the person at the front is then further holding up the queue for no reason this would irk me, if both the customer behind you and the clerk thought you were in the wrong then that says a lot. Make sure you’re prepared and if you need to check lists or your phone stand to the side so you’re not in the way of others.

Agree with this. I’m pretty laid back but do quietly seethe at people who seem oblivious to what is around them.

What my mum used to call a Dilly Daydream.

A man shouted at me for “faffing” on my phone in starbucks. I was opening the starbucks app at the time before ordering. I mean the impatience of some people!! We are literally queuing for a coffee. Chill out 🤣

I wonder if you were looking at a paper shopping list whether you would get the same reactions.

Brilliant response, like your style Ode

Lol 😂

Entitlement. I do however find that certain nationalities have little concept of body space. When I go to a nearby town they are literally on your shoulder when queuing. It makes me feel uncomfortable .

I sometimes get frustrated with this but I wouldn't confront someone aggressively over it. So unnecessary and so obviously not constructive. What does it achieve?