Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

I agree with you but also wanted to applaud the invention of 'magnitudinous'. Great word! 😁

You are what my DH and I call a 'Dozy Dawdler' Annoying AF when we are trying to do simple tasks like shopping and someone is on their phone blocking the fridge or whatever.

I think people get annoyed with phone zombies - not saying you’re one OP, but there are so many people walking around glued to their phones and oblivious to their surroundings that they give the quick phone checkers a bad rep!

I’m really sorry you’ve had this experience OP. It’s not you, it’s them.

I’m nice with everyone I encounter. It costs nothing to vr gracious and good-humoured and it makes life so much sweeter for everybody.

This!
If everyone you’ve interacted with today has been abrupt & snappy, you might want to reflect on that because there is a common factor here.

Im sorry youre upset. It isnt nice to feel like youve pissed people off.

It wouldnt have hurt them to be nicer but a lot of people get impatient with dawdlers, ditherers and day dreamers. They may be tight on time for example.

In each of your examples you've been snapped out of it by other people's frustration.

Try to pay attention to the task in hand and you will probably have fewer negative reactions.

If you're front of the queue in the post office, you should be paying attention. Imagine how long it would take if everyone was away with the fairies.

Low frustration tolerance because we live in a modern world full of instant gratification. Everything is too easy now. People don’t do tricky/ slow/ inconvenient. It is entitlement.

The common denominator in these situations is you.

This kind of interaction very, very rarely happens to me, and I think that if this sort of thing happens to you repeatedly, you need to start wondering if you might be the unreasonable one.

People shouldn’t be rude and snappy. But equally, it’s also rude and selfish to pay no attention to other people’s needs in public places and to wander around oblivious as if you’re the only person in the room. You need to be more aware of other people and understand that not everyone has as much time as you do. All the things you’ve described yourself doing - holding up a queue, blocking access to shelves/fridges in a shop, not paying attention when you’re getting your trolley - are quite self-absorbed behaviours that don’t show any consideration for others.

Nobody is ‘absentminded’ or ‘daydreaming’ on purpose. It’s a human condition and a very normal one. It’s often a coping mechanism too to protect yourself from stress and overload. It’s not rude to do things in your own pace and you should be allowed to manage life how you manage.

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

That's happened to me before, I clearly was looking up at the shelves of drink bottles, nobody else in the aisle, then a guy and his son suddenly run up the aisle wanting to barge past me, not even an excuse me beforehand, but just a 'watch where you're going!' I didn't even apologise because it just left me flabbergasted.
Then it happened again yesterday when I was trying to get a specific bottle of pop I wanted, again no excuse me, just barged past. I did apologise, but they didn't reply, just rushed on.

People are just so miserable at the moment in general. We are really living in an economically difficult time and people are fed up. This is coming out in interactions with strangers, such as this. Everyone is fed up , tired of being tired. Tired of feeling broke. Tired that their food shops are so expensive, tired of everything being so expensive. Even just looking around when I am out - people are reaching their tolerance level -daily!!! And you are causing more strife (to them , in their world) and so they are taking it out on you and your (lack of) actions. It's a sign of the times , sadly.

No.

OP was getting in multiple people's way. Nobody has to wait ages to grab a pack of cheese because someone is gazing at their phone.

She wasn’t gazing at her phone, she was checking her list, God forbid!

No. People have too much. Today’s poor is not poor compared to post war times etc, when people, I imagine, still managed to be polite.

Check first then. And don't dawdle.

Those people were extremely rude, but I think a lot of people are time poor and stressed. Life is stressful right now, it's expensive, we're all rushing around trying to get everything done and I admit, although I would never speak to anyone the way those people spoke to you, people who are on their phones, not concentrating, not in the right gear, driving too slowly, etc, make me feel very frustrated and in my head I'm often saying to myself 'Will you get out of the fucking way!!!!'

3 in a day.. I think that might be a you thing. A bit of awareness and consideration will help

Yes, Sargent! 🫡

I’m wondering if rude people realise they’re rude.

dd is learning to drive and she’s doing really well. My car has a different biting point to her teacher’s car so last night she was driving and stopped at traffic lights. The light went green and she didn’t pull away immediately (but it was seconds extra) while she balanced the clutch to pull away. She was beeped by the car behind. I mean, she had L plates on ffs and it was a brief hesitation. Totally ridiculous to beep her. Thankfully she wasn’t flustered at all and beeped back 😬🙈😂 (she promised she wouldn’t on her test).

This!

Sounds like a you problem OP.

To be honest I find supermarket dawdlers very irritating because I am always dashing round in the 15 minute window before bus back. Some people seem to treat a visit to Sainsbury’s like an afternoon stroll.

Agree.

I get annoyed with people expecting you to have eyes in the back of your head and to move even more so when they have plenty of space to move or can go around but want you to move for them.

I’m also the person who has been stuck behind people and have had to repeat myself several times. DS2 has seen this and says something in the same volume and funny enough they move.

Saying that people have a huge lack of situational awareness as well as getting so close that it prevents others being able to move away or out of the way. Not going to say it a lot as a Covid thing because it was an issue before but Covid didn’t help.

This