Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

Well, like we don't know the time or the hour, the most important thing is to be ready. Yet, I think some of the signs of the times are upon us. "People will be lovers of themselves", I don't think we have ever seen such a generation of narcissists before. I can't wait for Jesus's return. Are you ready?
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I wish it were that easy. It Some people don’t move even when you say excuse me politely or several times politely for that matter and I’ll even go as far that some don’t think they should have to move and you have to move around them even when that is not possible.

I have had people see me coming down the pavement with a double tandem pram towards them and not move and seem shocked when I say excuse me and they need to move or I’m asking to past from behind and they look back at me and not move at all and keep walking anyway when I cannot get past them safely. Yet, funny enough they move when my DS2 who is 7 asks me “mam, why aren’t they moving, you said excuse me?” and then proceeds to do as I did and ask them to please let us past and adds an exasperated ‘thank you’.

Well I think you've just perfectly demonstrated the problem the op is talking about ...why such a nasty response? It wasn't an unreasonable suggestion that you could avoid queues and hassle if you're so very pushed for time, you'd save petrol so only a couple of quid difference overall.

You could have just said, "that doesn't work for me", not rant about "pig ignorant people".

There are some unpleasant people out there but you also sound as if you were getting in people’s way. I shouted at someone the other day, they rammed their trolley into the back of my leg because they weren’t watching where they were going. I’ve just had a knee surgery and am a bit unsteady. If I’d been knocked over then I’d have really struggled to get up. You should be more aware of your own surroundings.

Driving to the supermarket isn't free either

Its only a few seconds of your time

One mile drive for me works out much cheaper than delivery. Please stop making silly suggestions about what I should and shouldn’t do and how much you think things cost me

Again read my earlier posts I’m not going to keep repeating myself. Also my local supermarket is very close to me so please don’t tell me what amount of money I’ll save and what I won’t. And what queue are you talking about?? Where have I mentioned queues in my post? I responded with such a ‘nasty response’ as you put it because the poster I responded to was also being nasty.

@Flyingintotheunknown it really isn't such a crazy idea..if being out around other people enrages you so much and you have so much on your plate, a small delivery charge sounds worth it to me. But the point is your responses are out of proportion in their anger to what's going on. That's what the op is talking about.

I was driving today, long,, cross country dual carriageway but some single. Every time it narrowed there'd be some idiot zooming up trying to squeeze past before it narrowed. Every time they ended up directly in front of me going at the same speed. We all arrived at the roundabout at the end at the same time but I would imagine their stress levels and adrenaline were much higher than mine. It's so unnecessary.

Wtf are you talking about?

Isn’t your last paragraph what I have just been talking about where I myself was in a similar situation? If anyone is full of rage it sounds like you. I really have ruffled your feathers haven’t I 🤣

Although you're the one swearing

Not remotely full of rage, and no riffled feathers, I'm just mooching through threads having a chat. I was just pointing out that society now seems full of people so busy and stressed and unable to wait whether in supermarkets or on the roads. It's a shame. I work full time, am a single parent and also help my aging parents, I'm busy. But I can navigate life without being unpleasant and impatient.

Oh get a grip 🤣

Good on you op for coming back with this response👍

Who said I was stressed? Not me. I don’t want to “leave more time”. If a journey normally takes 10 mins I shouldn’t have to leave 20 minutes for people to fanny about. 12 or so, to account for the fact that people do, say drive at different (legal) speeds. But why should I be held up by those going half the speed limit on a clear, dry day? I shouldn’t. Same applies to queues and supermarkets.

But then we come to the real kicker, what if I in fact do not have more time to leave? There is no way that I am going to limit what I can do with my life for the benefit of perennial fanniers, who think that to work less hard, have fewer children/hobbies/prospects etc so that they can spend more time in the queue at the Post Office is a solution to anything. If that means that I have to deal with people sharply or roughly so that I can do everything I want to, then I’m happy to do that.

And finally, I come back to imposing your pace of life on others is selfish. You go a little quicker, I go a little slower, no one needs to feel impatient at all. It’s basic manners - on both sides.

How is dealing with people "sharply or roughly" basic manners?

Some people still don't move when you ask them. I remember a friend tapping someone on the shoulder because they had headphones in. This person then moaned at my friend. But they and their group were blocking everyone from getting past

You really are rude aren't you.

When someone says they will treat people sharply or roughly just because they carnt move very fast that is the response you get. It's very rude to expect some to move quickly just to benefit you because they are in such a hurry. It's very rude. If they answer like this then they will get a rude response. If they are in a hurry that's their business , not mine. It shouldn't affect my day for force me into a situation that will leave me in pain.

What sort of area do you live in OP? It is certainly true in the city suburb I live in which has become increasingly busy and overcrowded in recent years with a steep rise in nasty, intolerant, impatient people. Where once it was a rarity to hear a car horn, it's now constant, with people flying off the handle at the slightest hesitation, with lots of aggressive, inconsiderate driving. It's the same in the shops etc. I too often feel the rage when someone is dithering or dawdling, although I can be guilty too when my mind is elsewhere, but I'm never rude, just say a polite excuse me and most people do move out of the way.

It's got so bad that we're planning to move right out of the city to somewhere less busy as this has become such a stressful place to live. From what we've experienced so far on our trips to the proposed new area, people do seem nicer and more tolerant. I really hope it stays that way!

Talking to me roughly or sharply won't get you anywhere. My legs won't automatically move faster just because you want them to. If this where the case I would have done it myself years ago instead of being in pain every time I try to move fast. Just wait. You are in a hurry, I get that. Don't just assume people are dawdling for the fun of it. I will continue shopping at my pace as long as possible to keep my independence. If that means people like you have to wait a few seconds then so be it. Your shopping is not more important than mine . Be patient, show tolerance.

No I haven't been rude to you. I've given my opinion. It's down right rude to expect other people to speed up to your pace just because you are in a hurry. You are in a hurry, that should not affect other people.