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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

334 replies

Abdican · 25/09/2025 12:17

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

OP posts:
murasaki · 25/09/2025 12:19

I doubt it's the first time. While he's suspended, take the x box away and make him do some of the catching up he needs to do since you say he's behind.

Pixiedust49 · 25/09/2025 12:19

If it’s the school policy then you have to suck it up. And he shouldn’t really be allowed on his Xbox if he’s been suspended from school.

StarlightRobot · 25/09/2025 12:19

I think it’s a good lesson for you son to follow the rules at school and put up with the consequences. Is it ilegal to vape at age 14? If so, he was also breaking the law. Schools should be strict about these types of things.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 25/09/2025 12:20

Maybe check what else they have a zero tolerance policy on so you're not shocked about the school enforcing rules.

Also he doesn't need to spend three days on an Xbox.

TallulahBetty · 25/09/2025 12:20

Not far enough, IMO.

Tunacheesequesadilla · 25/09/2025 12:21

Sounds very fair to me.

Slothey · 25/09/2025 12:21

Good. Terrible behaviour that the kids who want to learn and stay healthy shouldn’t have to be around.

FuzzyWolf · 25/09/2025 12:21

Surely you are the one choosing to punish him twice since school have already done so.

If he’s a bit cheeky in class then they probably do have a lower tolerance as it’s not the first time he’s been in trouble, even if for different things.

Ultimately he needs to follow the school policy and you would do better supporting the school than minimising his behaviour.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 25/09/2025 12:21

This has got to be ragebait

crappycrapcrap · 25/09/2025 12:21

I’d be furious if my 14 year old was vaping!
I think the suspension is absolutely right and sends clear message from school… but what matters is the message he gets at home.

Trickabrick · 25/09/2025 12:22

Well I believe that the legal age for vaping is 18 so he’s taken something he’s not legally allowed into a school. Good on the school for applying their own policies. Oh, and parent your child by removing his Xbox!

Blueyandbingox · 25/09/2025 12:22

If you found it before and told him off.. but he has it again at school, he’s not being punished twice for the same offence, and he’s clearly completely ignored you the first time.

if he’s been suspended, take his xbox away or it’s not much of a punishment is it ?!

OldBeyondMyYears · 25/09/2025 12:23

Bloody hell OP, so you’re rewarding this flagrant rule breaking by letting him play on his x-box for three days!

And you wonder why he’s breaking the bloody rules?? Hmmm 🤔

I’d be furious with my child, not blathering on about ‘oh it’s not too bad, everyone else is doing it, the punishment is too harsh’ ffs!! Be a parent!

Coffeeishot · 25/09/2025 12:24

I see you are accepting of your sons behaviour, nobody on the thread will change your mind, so an extra holiday and games console for him it is oh whilst he. Vapes away quite happy.

pinkbackground · 25/09/2025 12:24

So, he’s “cheeky in class” (therefore has some behaviour issues already) and now has been caught with a vape. Sounds like he needs to follow the rules and the school are trying to show him that. Seems fair to me. I hope to his face you are supporting the school and telling him that he chooses this behaviour so should face the consequences of it.

Teachingagain · 25/09/2025 12:24

How did he have it in school if you had taken it off him?

AgnesMcDoo · 25/09/2025 12:25

You should be backing the school up on this

ilovesooty · 25/09/2025 12:25

Quite justified.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 25/09/2025 12:25

he wasn’t even using it in class or anything

😳

ilovesooty · 25/09/2025 12:26

murasaki · 25/09/2025 12:19

I doubt it's the first time. While he's suspended, take the x box away and make him do some of the catching up he needs to do since you say he's behind.

Exactly.

Worktillate · 25/09/2025 12:26

Is there anything in your post that's actually legit??

You caught him but he's still doing it. How did you impress on him that maybe he shouldn't be?? You think it's okay because 'everyone is doing it' and it's too harsh for him to be punished twice??

And his consequences at home are for him to sit on his xbox for 3 days?

If this is actually a legitimate post I am completely gobsmacked.

tequilam0ckingbird · 25/09/2025 12:26

this is a joke, right?

right?

Justwingingit2005 · 25/09/2025 12:27

I cannot believe the amount of children vaping. My boys are all teens and all their friends are vaping.
Mine have had rules laid down, if I ever find one they will loose phones xbox and pocket money.
Vaping is for people coming off cigarettes why are kids vaping?!?!

murasaki · 25/09/2025 12:27

Pretty poor parenting if it is real.

Soontobe60 · 25/09/2025 12:27

Why would he be sat on his XBox? take it off him, turn off the wifi and absolutely bollock him!