To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

“Vaping and a bit cheeky at school” - why am I not surprised by your response? Always making excuses and minimising his behaviour won’t do him any favours in the long run, he’ll just end up a disrespectful, trouble making adult.

This is why

vaping is bad for kids and young people, as their brains and lungs are still developing and are more vulnerable to the effects of nicotine and other chemicals in vape aerosol. Vaping can harm brain development, potentially leading to issues with attention, mood, and impulse control, and it increases the risk of future nicotine addiction and possibly other drug use. Nicotine is highly addictive, causing cravings and other symptoms like anxiety and difficulty concentrating, which can negatively impact a child's education and well-being.

He can only sit on his xbox playing games for 3 days if you allow it's so good that you have taken it away now. I do remember kids being suspended for having cigarettes with them when we were young and the legal age for smoking then was 16.
Unfortunately, because there does appear to be a rise in parents not doing their job of parenting their children, schools are having to intervene more and so the punishments become harsher for lesser infringements. The school has to get the message across somehow - it is not their job to parent our children.

Vaping is chavvy.

Indulging your teenager is also chavvy.

This post sounds really fake to me.

Because you want your kids to make these mistakes why they are young and you can protect them. If your to strict and don't let them do anything they will move out at 18 and go wild. I remember going out clubbing with friends in my late teens and you could tell the ones who had strict parents they got themselves into all sorts of trouble couldn't handle their drink and then didn't dare ring their parents for help.

I can’t understand where they get the money for it as none of them are working.. so makes it even worse that the parents fund it!!!! Unbelievable

I wouldn't let him on his Xbox of he'd been suspended.

From your language, it seems you are looking in the wrong direction for your frame of reference for poor behaviour - looking for the worst forms of classroom behaviour or vaping habits, saying your DS isn't as bad as that, so that's OK.

Look towards the kids who don't ever carry vapes, or have never disrupted the class with their behaviour as your models - there are plenty of them.

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time

Not rtft but honestly OP, would you feel the same way if it was a packet of cigarettes or a bottle of whisky?

Be more concerned over who gave it to him (he's under aged so selling/giving it is a crime) and also it's fast becoming the "new" lung disease cause. If you care about his future breathing ability then you need to read him the riot act.

You are everything that is wrong with our schools and civilisation as a whole.

He is needs consequences. I had similar with one of mine
Devices are gone for set period of time.
Does school work during the day, also had mine gardening and painting.
He discovered much easier to be in school

Watch some old Brass Eye episodes.

(I’m pasting ChatGPT here, nobody come at me. It’s educational!)

A moral panic happens when:

1. Something new (or perceived as new) emerges – e.g., rave culture, violent video games, “video nasties,” or now vapes.
2. It’s framed as a threat – usually to “the children,” “family values,” or “society’s fabric.”
3. Media amplify it – sensational stories, scary headlines, pseudo-experts.
4. Politicians respond – rushing in with tough talk, bans, or regulations to appear protective.
5. Public anxiety grows – which justifies further regulation and makes the panic feel real.

Who benefits?

• Politicians – they get to be seen as defenders of public morality or safety, which is useful when they’re otherwise unpopular or lacking policy wins.
• Media – panic sells; outrage and fear drive clicks, views, and readership.
• Certain industries – sometimes a rival industry profits (e.g., tobacco companies benefit if vaping is restricted, just as the alcohol industry often lobbied against cannabis liberalisation).
• Regulators and think tanks – funding and relevance often flow toward the bodies that “protect us” from the panic.

Meanwhile, the groups under scrutiny—youth, subcultures, working-class communities, immigrants—rarely benefit. They get demonised, regulated, or pathologised.

It’s clear from your subsequent posts op that you are trying.
but what I think you need to remember is that you’re his parent, you are there to parent him, not to be his friend.
it doesn’t matter if he’s bored.
it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like you.
he needs to get up at same time as school and sit at the table with worksheets in front of him from 9-6pm for the 3 days. If he just stares in to space, then so be it.

Jesus bit harsh. I don't think you can blame op for all of the worlds problems 🤣🤣

I don’t agree with teens vaping, but I also don’t think they are equivalent to snorting cocaine as some argue.

Teens will always push against restrictions- previously it was cigarettes and weed that were in vogue. Ironically, cigarettes are coming back in now due to all the restrictions on vapes.

Of course there should be education, but you are never going to stop it completely. In my view there are far more important issues for schools to deal with.

Our school suspends anyone in the vicinity of a pupil with a vape, so no I don't think it is unusually harsh.

I believe that parents should be supportive of the school particularly in the case of a zero tolerance policy.

Where is he getting the money from to buy vapes - stop his money source and for the time out of school he needs a timetable of school work he should be completing with you checking it daily.

Unless the OPs first name is Donald and has a heavy spray tan.

Disagree. I have 2 grown kids who werent allowed to do illegal shit and they have grown up just fine. This idea that you must pander to your kids and let them make stupid lifechanging mistakes doesnt wash with me..Happy being a strict parent.

Just parent your child. You seem to be making excuse after excuse. No wonder schools are struggling with not just the kids but the parents too.

Then absolutely blame away 🤣

@Abdican

I am sorry that you are tired. Parenting is exhausting.

I am sorry that you feel like people are ripping into you. I dont think they are. I think people are trying to tell you that you are focusing on the wrong thing.

At the moment you are outraged at the school for suspending your son but the real issues are:

1. Your underage son is vaping - this is possibly illegal but definitely unhealthy, for your son and those around him.
2. You took the vape off him and he disregarded you entirely and got another one.
3. You seem scared to take the Xbox off him because of his unhappy reaction
4. He has a history or being “cheeky” in class. “Cheeky” is code name for not being compliant in structured, time sensitive situations like a school lesson / answering back to teachers / disturbing other students etc
5. He is behind in school and you dont seem to know why / what to do about this.

The above points are what you should focus on IMHO.

The suspension is deserved.

NO xbox while suspended on school for bad behaviour.

Contact the school and try to tackle why he is behind with school work.

Lastly, dont be scared of algebra. The internet is your friend. I am sure you are capable enough to help him with his school work even if you have to look up things on the internet or ask other parents for help.

😂 you needed chatgpt to express your opinion? 😂

Also, did you read sociology by any chance?

Op's son is not subversive, he is a very naught boy.