To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

Is this for real? Of course the school are correct they need to be seen setting the right example when parents fail to.kids should not have vapes! Even my 9 year old knows that vapes and smoking is bad
To say that he will just sit at home on his xbox for 3 days shows exactly what type of parent you are. The xbox and phones and whatever else should be taken off him as he is suspended .he should not be allowed to veg at home.sit and do school work with him or at the very least some research into what vaping can do to his young body

😂😂😂

Actions have consequences.

YABvvvvU. It is not too harsh.

Poor parenting

I’ve never agreed with suspension unless a child is dangerous.

To what end?

Kid’s love a few days off.

Your 9 year old will likely feel very different when he's 14

Why do you think the rules don’t apply for him though? It has a zero tolerance policy so it’s applying its policy fairly.

Your attitude towards this says a lot about why your son behaves the way he does. He has no chance. You need to get your act together and provide some really firm consequences that will deter him from vaping and disrupting his class. It's not fair that his peers are disrupted by his poor behaviour.

If you don't stop being lazy with the punishments, he's going to have a really unfair chance at education. It's not the school at fault - It's you.

what's more - Why does he need to sit on his Xbox all day? Can't you take it off him and set some home learning for him? Even if you're working you can put the Xbox in a bag and put it in your car, or take it with you.

Well said

50 years ago, we smoked behind the bike sheds. The teachers turned da blind eye, probably because they were lighting up in the staffroom. The exceptions to that blindness eye were when the rude, idle little shitbags were caught. They received severe consequences, but the smoking was the final, tangible straw.

Your child needs a better parental influence and that's what the school is. Unfortunately you're probably going to see this happen again and again because you don't understand the importance of discipline. It's a hard lesson to learn.

There's no point using words like 'cheeky' to describe what is probably inappropriate and disrespectful behaviour.

Suspension is entirely OTT in my view. If they'd suspended all the kids with cigarettes on them at my secondary school they'd have lost half the school!

But just leaving to three days on his XBox - definitely not! I'm assuming he'll be the only one in the house which makes enforcement of how he spends his day harder, but he should be up out of bed at usual school time and doing something useful with his day. Have you sat down with him and made it clear that this is not funtime and planned what he will be doing?

Absolutely 👏👏

Don’t wait for the school to send work, just get on with it!
Start here: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/levels/z98jmp3

If he did it before and you “told him off” he really isn’t listening to you is he.
I know he’ll probably be a pain if you take the Xbox away but take it anyway- get him to do some school work at home and let him know that you mean business and that you support school
Please don’t say he’s a good kid and it doesn’t seem fair

Loads of other kids may be vaping, and loads of other kids will be very ill as a result. Smoking kills. Ban the xbox for the duration of his suspension. As for the algebra, take a look at youtube, there are loads of free videos there explaining maths.

I can see why he’s… a bit cheeky.

Why is it a moral panic to not want your kids to be around a harmful and illegal practice?

Why would you allow him to be on his X Box for 3 days?

He is already behind, most likely because you don't value education or good behaviour, so really should be doing catch up work.

I will email them to see if they can send stuff home cos otherwise he will just sit there bored

😆Ignorant as well as entitled.

It's your responsibility as a parent to look after him. If he's bored, I'm sure you can find him something pedagogically worthwhile to do? Choose? Duolingo? Go for a run? You'd be a fool to let home have any tech time during his suspension.

Feckless.

@Abdican my love, you worded it fine, and you know you did.

This is the second of your threads I have seen and I can see a theme developing.

In the same way as the issues with your two year old, this is where you have to be the parent, not the friend. Do what's right, back up the school fully and get on with some proper parenting.

U need to support the school he is your son and they are there to educate him !
Be a good parent and say no your not having vape u don’t care if other kids have them !! You’re setting strong boundaries !
Teaching kids is hard and they have to face consequences! Take his Xbox away then he knows u mean business sorry if this is harsh but I get sick of hearing this crap 💩!

School only doing their job. Too many jobs with parental attitudes like yours. Bring common sense to this country

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so school suspend him and you reward him by letting him play on his games,usually suspension they send home the work and he does it at home,as you said he's already behind would you not get work from the school..sorry but you are not helping him and he will get worse

Where to even start..

A 14 year old does not need to vape, regardless of everyone else doing it. That doesn’t mean he has to!

School policy is in place for a reason.

If you’re going to let him sit at home on his Xbox when he’s been suspended then wow, great parenting 🙃

Its honestly no wonder kids are like they are nowadays.

Meant to say yobs. You are being unreasonable on the poll

This is absolutely spot on! 👆🏼

My DC is in year 7 just started a few weeks ago and he told me he saw older boys vaping in the school toilets, understandably he didn’t want to make eye contact let alone say anything

Vaping is rife amongst teenagers- go to any town centre on a weekend or after school!

School has got to be strict with this and I’m not surprised they’re making an example of your child