AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

😂😂

Why can't you just say no?

I wouldn't mind being asked to bring a chair, or a casserole. Or even saying what I'm thankful for - it is Thanksgiving after all. The turkey walnut thing is weird.

I am not sure I'd say that eating crisps when invited around was a heinous crime (maybe dont put out crisps that you dont want guests to eat) and certainly when I have people round I am very happy for them to help themselves to wine. Again if I didnt want it drunk, I'd put it away.

She is expecting you to be enthusiastic and want to participate in her big event. Much as if you'd invited her for Christmas, maybe you'd ask her to bring some specific stuff. If you dont want to go then politely refuse. Simples !

You've obviously never met my American sister in law. Talk about a black cloud.

You provided one glass of wine and one tube of Pringles when the neighbours came round? Are you short of money or just a rubbish hostess?
I would go to the dinner, although I'd ask if I could bring something other than turkey walnuts.

I don't get why the OP is annoyed with her. It's nice to be invited to a party. I would go, bring a casserole, chair, wine and Pringles but for the walnut turkey I would say no- my kids are finally old enough so that I'm not forced to do crafts anymore.

Sounds like a comedy sketch about a stereotypical up-tight Brit and an equally stereotypical loud and brash American.

”She practically INHALED my prewn cocktail Pringles Dorothy!”

Also not understanding the issue. If you don't want to go, don't go. If you do want to go, get into the spirit of it.

Also, cute garden? WTAF.

Is it just me imagining someone carving tiny turkeys out of walnuts, using micro tools, under a magnifying lens?

Okay, it's just me, then.

Oh yeah, I'd definitely go! But I'm so, so bad at handy crafts. The very thought of walnut turkeys gives me a cold sweat.

Sounds fun. You dont have to go if it is too much (and it would be too much for many people) but i would like clear instructions so I could get involved so she is not unreasonable for being direct.

Just say no.

I'd go but admit failure on the walnut turkeys.

I'd be thankful that I'd got through life so far without discovering these were a thing.

I don't see the problem, if you don't want to go, don't fucking go.

I've celebrated Thanksgiving with American friends living in the UK before. What's the problem? It's pretty normal to take a dish of food from my experience and yes they go around the table and ask what everyone is thankful for. It's traditional. How is that difficult? The only problem I can foresee is in the word "gravy" which means a totally different thing to an American.
Why shouldn't she plan her most important holiday a few months in advance? I've already had to book a hotel for my Christmas plans to ensure there's room at the inn and my DD is working on her Christmas list! Absolutely outrageous, I know.

The actual problem, it seems, is that a person you don't like has invited you to spend time with them. So just say, "No, thank you for the invite, but I won't be able to come". It sounds like she likes you and enjoys spending time with you though, so be prepared to keep declining her invitations

I would go, but draw the line on what you can or can't bring. Something like "I'd love to come and happy to bring a dish. I'm not at all crafty so won't be able to do the walnut turkeys I'm afraid. Looking forward to it"

Embrace other cultures! Go, you might even have fun...

Same!

I think everyone on this thread sounds utterly miserable

...and you could add "and we haven't forgotten about what you did to the tea in Boston."

I’d love a neighbour like this.

A bit rude but you could have offered her another glass of wine? Family birthday party at week-end (so only close friends and family). DiL took photo of me and her mum raiding DGDiL's fridge for another bottle of prosecco. This was deemed hilarious by all. Everyone made their own coffee, too.

Will she serve grits ?
She sounds full on..and a bit rude..helping herself to wine..A lot of Americans are known for their lack of manners.

I would go..it's a nice thing to experience..but she wouldn't telling yo make a casserole or fuck about with walnuts

Prawn cocktail Pringles?! 😯🍿🦐

You can say no to her you know. So therefore I think YABU