I’m embarrassed my by friends weight

[BeachBaby997]

I feel horrible, I genuinely do. Don’t really know how to shake it off. Been friends for many years but never gone abroad together. Currently away and we both needed the break. We are both in our 30’s

The issue is my friend is really scantly dressed. Friend is 5ft, about 20 stone in her own admission. I’m not skinny myself and weigh about 13, so it’s not a jab. I do think I dress for the figure I have though. Nice summer dresses, midi dresses.

My friend always dresses lovely at home but on this holiday she’s wearing barely anything. The tiniest bikinis possible, even her dresses are cropped so her bum is really out, belly is out. She’s also quite a loud person in general and I can see people looking at us in the street. She’s wearing a lot from Temu and shein and the material is just hardly there. Today it’s tiny tiny shorts and a crop top.

she also spends 90% moaning about her weight, saying she hates it etc but does not stop eating. She then twists it and says “I don’t look 20 stone do I? Everyone says I look about 13/14”

We go for breakfast and she has 3 plates, then it’s straight to the snacks from the shop, then lunch, then more snacks from the shop. she will be eating until midnight.

I really don’t know why it’s winding me up so much- I just want to shout well if you’re so unhappy stop eating everything!

i think I just need to bite my tongue and get though the next four days. Our friendship is normally fine but we’re shopping for a day, grab a meal or coffee type friends usually.

Yanbu
I would be very embarrassed by her attire.

I’m not surprised people are staring.

All you can do is grin and bear it, and don’t go on holiday with her again.

For something to be appalled about, I assume.

@GooseAndSandals - you’ve never met me either, and mine’s 41. Go!

I’ve already said I am obese too. That isn’t what OP is embarrassed about, it is that her friend is wearing skimpy clothing which is inappropriate for someone of that size

Indeed. I would go further and suggest they shouldn't be allowed to go outdoors lest they offend fragile sensibilities

I get what you're saying. People absolutely do judge you based on the company you keep.
But- it's wether you chose to care about being judged...half the time those judging people only give it a moments thought.
If you value the friendship, maybe support her.
If you don't....stick to coffees rather than holidays......

I think it’s a real shame if you let other people determine how you should and shouldn’t dress, based on your size.

The fat folk have moved on from that now, we just put clothes on our oversized bodies and try not to worry about the societal consequences.

I’ve wasted my whole life worrying about how I look and battling eating disorders

Diabetes 2 is not a societal consequence. Now doctors are afraid to tell their patients to lose weight for the sake of their own health.

I’m assuming you meant me, I don’t have diabetes and if I do get it that will remain my own business.

This thread is so unpleasant.

Personally I think skinny women with no boobs or curves look like teenage boys wearing a bikini.

You don’t sound like a friend OP.

I'm not sure OP. You feel the way you feel so I think the comments are a bit harsh but you shouldn't go on holiday with her again.

It’s the fact we are in a very heavy religious country and people are staring at the clothing choices, we were in a very beautiful cathedral earlier and friend was being very loud on FaceTime to her sister and even though everyone was looking she didn’t quieten down. I think it’s the same with the eating, there’s zero self awareness about it. If I tell her to go outside, she looks at me like I’ve got three heads

Think the other woman is not really a great friend knowing what kind of country they’re in, behaving this way and bringing unnecessary attention to them both. If I had to choose OP or the friend to travel with, I’d pick OP who is taking into account and being respectful to local culture and not likely to get me in trouble or bring unnecessary, unwanted attention towards me in a foreign country.

And who is slagging her mate all over the Internet at the same time as being on holiday with her

It won't be your own business. You will be a cost to the NHS which we all pay for.

What absolute cack. You are actually posting
that because you pay tax you get to know about and form an opinion on- berate in public no less- people’s private medical issues?
Did you type that with a straight face?

I know right? I can’t imagine the level of “being a shit friend” that ends up posting on an internet forum slagging your mate off.

It’s a self inflicted medical issue caused by over eating.

Do you trawl threads of people who smoke, drink or take recreational drugs just to tell them that they’re costing “you” a fortune?

What a bitchy and judgemental way to live.

I’ll take my contributions to the system back out should I ever get a “fat related” illness.

Have a wonderful time at the gym, careful you don’t get a sports related injury, because I’m not happy to pay for your recovery.

If you think it's worth chancing type 2 diabetes which is a very dangerous medical condition which can be reversed by dieting, perhaps you could give me some logical explanation why you think it's worth the risk. The OP has said her friend is 5ft and 20 stone. If she hasn't already got a myriad of medical conditions, she will have. Obesity is a killer.

I dont go to the gym. I go for walks.

And? This is MN AIBU. It is mainly people moaning about friends and family anonymously.

This might be a totally bizarre idea, but strangers on the internet don’t have to justify their life choices to you.

You want the honest truth? The “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” thing is nonsense. Cakes do. And chips.

I don’t assign any moral value to eating food, or to being either skinny or fat. If I’m hungry, I eat. I’m not “bad” for eating carbs, and you’re not “better” for liking salad.

There are health risks associated with being underweight. Brittle bones, lack of muscle mass, difficulty carrying children. That’s as much my business as my health is yours.

Judgemental arseholes are worse for our health than any carb will ever be. They push people into eating disorders, self confidence issues, disordered eating.

You enjoy your walk, I’ll enjoy my sit down, and everyone can just be who they are IMO.

FWIW, I don’t weigh 20 stone. But I’m bigger than most, certainly bigger than the average, and almost definitely bigger than you. You won’t need to waste any time counting how many shiny shits I give.

Obesity costs the country 47 billion a year.

I suggest you watch this video.

I suggest you get a hobby. Or go do the one you already have.

You can’t fat shame people who aren’t embarrassed.

Op's been fairly 'outing' to be fair.