I’m embarrassed my by friends weight

[BeachBaby997]

I feel horrible, I genuinely do. Don’t really know how to shake it off. Been friends for many years but never gone abroad together. Currently away and we both needed the break. We are both in our 30’s

The issue is my friend is really scantly dressed. Friend is 5ft, about 20 stone in her own admission. I’m not skinny myself and weigh about 13, so it’s not a jab. I do think I dress for the figure I have though. Nice summer dresses, midi dresses.

My friend always dresses lovely at home but on this holiday she’s wearing barely anything. The tiniest bikinis possible, even her dresses are cropped so her bum is really out, belly is out. She’s also quite a loud person in general and I can see people looking at us in the street. She’s wearing a lot from Temu and shein and the material is just hardly there. Today it’s tiny tiny shorts and a crop top.

she also spends 90% moaning about her weight, saying she hates it etc but does not stop eating. She then twists it and says “I don’t look 20 stone do I? Everyone says I look about 13/14”

We go for breakfast and she has 3 plates, then it’s straight to the snacks from the shop, then lunch, then more snacks from the shop. she will be eating until midnight.

I really don’t know why it’s winding me up so much- I just want to shout well if you’re so unhappy stop eating everything!

i think I just need to bite my tongue and get though the next four days. Our friendship is normally fine but we’re shopping for a day, grab a meal or coffee type friends usually.

My partner works in a GP practice. The doctors are absolutely in despair over the obesity crisis and level of denial. BTW Kathleen and James featured in the video have both died since the film was made. But yeah, it's worth dying young I suppose.

My partner works in finance. Not sure why we’re sharing occupations of our significant others but okay.

It’s not up to you how many cakes someone else eats.

You eat whatever you want, but lecturing people who didn’t ask and don’t require your input is a catastrophic waste of time.

Hop down off your soap box, nobody’s interested.

YANBU. There is little that is more annoying and exasperating than someone who’s constant talk about something is never matched by their actions, whether that be talk about not wanting to be overweight who is clearly overeating all the time, or talk about being ‘too skinny’ yet doesn’t eat enough to sustain a bird.
I don’t really care what people weigh, but stop talking shite about it if you’re not going to actually do anything to change it.

It’s amazing how you and so many like you spend so much time worrying about all the physical health concerns that people may inflect on themselves and presumably not much thinking about how your shitty attitude, language and behaviour effects your mental healthiness as well as the people you speak to about theirs.

when a victim of your posts finds themselves in therapy (or worse), or you find yourself being treated for disordered eating, who should we blame then?

OK. A significant number of people in this country are literally eating themselves to death. The UK has the highest obesity rates in Europe. Injecting yourself with insulin everyday or not being able to participate in normal life because you're hobbling around on a crutch and on a mobility scooter doesn't sound like a whole lotta fun. People like you who rant about fat shaming just makes the work of the medical profession even harder.

Because there really is no one more knowledgeable than someone whose partner does a job 😂

Monjaro et al has made the work of medical professionals significantly easier so this is irrelevant.

What’s your game here?

Do you think you’re gonna healthy rant and I, or someone else, is gonna go “shit she’s right, I should have dust for dinner and apologise for my food sins!”

With respect, you’re not that important to strangers. It’s a bit like warnings on packets of cigarettes - most fat people know they’re fat, know the consequences of that, and know why… and don’t care.

No amount of “won’t someone think of the pressure on their bones!” pearl clutching will change that.

Yeah. Doctors who advise their patients to drink less, not smoke and go on a diet are miserable, spiteful people who just want to spoil your fun,

"The UK has the highest obesity rates in Europe"

No we don't.

Look at current stats and for the whole of Europe (not just a segment of Europe). And you'll see we don't have the highest obesity rates in Europe.

However, it would be correct to say we have among the highest obesity rates in Europe - which is a crying shame

Obesity is self harm. I don't think it's "shitty" to acknowledge this.

Are you a doctor or just an overly concerned citizen? 😂

I don’t actually think your partner is a doctor. You said he works in a GP surgery. I’m being lectured by the wife of a receptionist.

You think this post is “acknowledging” that obesity is self harm?! (Which isn’t even true btw- it might be self harm

He's a manager in a GP practice and fully up to speed with the campaigns they run on diabetes type 2 prevention.
Anyway, have a deko at this if you think I'm talking nonsense.
https://www.webmd.com/obesity/ss/cm/slideshow-obesity-health-problems

So not a doctor. Thank you for clarifying. I mean it would still be weird if you were a doctors partner this interested in fat people, but this is certifiably weirder. Very invested in the fat folk aren’t you!

Please stop sending me links to reading materials. I don’t think you’re talking nonsense, I am aware that being overweight is unhealthy.

You’re mistaking lack of interest for lack of information.

Well you declared it's your own business if you get type 2 diabetes. I have merely pointed out the dangers of going down that path and the kind of campaigns GPs are running to get people to lose weight. Also the difficulties with patients who tell them to mind their own business. He's not a doctor but speaks to doctors and nurses every day.

You never know, I might get Type 1.

I have seen the campaigns, I don’t require your partners advice, I am aware that carbs and cheese are bad for you.

I do HTH.

Wasn't this a AIBU post about being embarrassed about a fat friend? Not sure what your postvis saying?

By your rationale, is smoking and drinking booze self harm also?

It's about a friend who moans constantly about her weight but doesn't do anything about it and also embarrasses her by walking around in tight fitting clothing with 20 stone of weight in a Conservative, probably Muslim country

OK carry on with the KFC 🍗

To be honest, if my friend suddenly appear with non existent clothes, I would be like “where are the rest of your clothes?” in a joking way but also to make them feel uncomfortable!

I’m actually about to go for a Costa, but you’re right KFC for dinner tonight sounds like a wonderful idea.

I hope you enjoy your sanctimony on toast, followed by a lovely cup of patronising. Decaf, of course.

Nasty.

127kg divided by 1.51m squared is about 55