Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

The parent child car park spaces are for drivers with a child under 12. So technically she was well within her right to use it. However, her telling you to either hurry or close the door was rude!

I would have ignored her and taken even longer

I am sick and tired of these threads where some smug poster says "they're not legally enforceable" as some kind of slam dunk. Neither is farting in a lift.

1. If you park in one of those spaces without a young child (or are would otherwise use fully occupied disabled spaces, you are nob.
2. While not "legally enforceable" the landowner could quite legally tell you that you are not meeting their conditions for being on their property and tell you to go forth and multiply.

Something doesn't need to be illegal to contravene the social and moral contract. And not everything illegal is immoral.

This.

OK. Carry on having your kids 'unaware' in carparks and pretending you can't do anything about it. Best of luck to you, and them.

The land owner would have to clearly advertise any deviation from national policy on P&C parking to impose a fine or indeed to tell you to ‘go forth and multiply’. And ‘not legally enforceable’ is a slam dunk until such time as the law is changed to bring P&C parking into line with disabled parking.

Yes it’s a shitty thing to do if you don’t need to, but what posters are saying is that it’s pointless to challenge because you’ll likely be met with a rude response and there won’t be anything you can do about it. Parking in a disabled space without a badge is an offence and if you spotted a traffic warden or parking attendant they could legally insist they move. But with P&C parking all they can do is point out the unfairness and that doesn’t get the car moved.

I think the poster also overlooks the fact that it’s perfectly acceptable for BB holders to park in P&C spaces if there are no disabled spaces available, but not vice versa.

BB holders are disabled!! It isn’t even in the same ballpark as someone with their kids. And not only disabled you have to be significantly disabled to get a BB, they are not given out like sweets.

The land owner doesn't need to advertise anything. If they don't want you there, they have the right to ask you to leave. In reality, supermarkets are more concerned with selling beans than squabbles within the mothers union. Mores the pity.

Yes, I agree. The sort of entitled nob head who parks in a child space without a child is unlikely to say upon being challenged "yes, that is a fair point you make, I'll move my car and will know for future". But its moral cowardice on the part of society to let rude entitled behaviour pass through fear of a backlash. (Like a certain religion, but that's a different story).

You’ve both been ignorant.

How exactly was OP ignorant in the scenario?

For saying the other driver shouldn’t have been in parent and child 🤷‍♀️

Technically yes, the other driver was allowed to park there but didn't really need to and had a cheek calling OP ignorant because she wouldn't stop what she was doing to let an older child get out of the car

Maybe there are no laws about this but I saw a notice in a Tesco car park recently that warned people not to park in parent and child places. The wording was "Parking in a parent and child bay unaccompanied by young children" and the fine would be £70, which was the same fine as for all the other usual infringements. I haven't had an opportunity to check other Tesco car parks since to see if this is Tesco policy everywhere but supermarket (and other shops' car parks) are private property so they can do this.

There’s no technically about it 🤣 the other driver absolutely was entitled to be there too.

The other driver shouldn’t have shouted, but OP gave as good as she got, then further here said the other car should’nt have even been there. They were both in the right and wrong 🤷‍♀️

Excellent. Every little helps!

I’m assuming she called her ignorant because the op didn’t respond, and then gave her a look when she got out of the car.
OP could have very easily said ‘won’t be a sec’ whilst she carried on strapping in her kid, and not judged someone who was within their rights to park in a P&C for parking in a P&C.
as it stands, they were both ignorant.

I don’t respond to people who talk to me like that because I don’t like confrontation. I withdraw.

People who talk to you like what?
the op said she was asked. Didn’t say she was asked aggressively.
personally, I would have just waited. But I also would have responded with ‘just a sec’ if asked.

Sod off.

They are parent and child spaces. Until my CHILD is an adult I will continue to use them, whether she’s six or sixteen.

As it happens, I rarely do use them, but I absolutely reserve the right to.

I really can't help my reaction. I would have kept my head down and carried on with what I was doing. The ignorant person is the person asking the parent of a 3 month old to hurry up.

Those spaces are for children under the age of 12. There are a few reasons why it is safer for a child under 12 to need to be parked closer. They are usually smaller in height therefore harder to see. They have less sense of danger so can run into traffic. Just because you feel you are more entitled to the space doesn't mean you are. Those spaces are for parents with children under 12. YABU.

You're dead weird to think that you can train kids, especially young kids, not to be impulsive, not to be easily distracted, or not to be unaware of danger. The point is you can 'teach' young children things, but their development dictates that they are vulnerable and at risk by nature. You are being ridiculous to say there is no risk as long as mummy says "Don't do that".

I wasn’t moving the baby from a car seat to a pram, I was moving the baby from a baby carrier attached to my chest to a car seat.

I also have a toddler. If you read my posts on the thread you would know this isn’t my first. I have a toddler and a baby. Judgmental much?

My oldest is 11. He looks about 13/14 and goes to secondary school.
He is also autistic and a runner, especially if he’s upset (shopping often makes him upset and sometimes it cannot be avoided).
You wouldn’t know that to look at him, and I am trying to organise a blue badge for him, but, as everyone knows it’s incredibly difficult.
I honestly try hard not to judge anyone.
Yes they were rude and could have waited, but equally you have no idea what that “perfectly fine” child is dealing with.

Do they have hands? You can hold those with your hands. You have to be proactive and actually put in some effort.

You're right, kids are impulsive. But if your child is too impulsive to be safe in a car park then you, as the parent, have to step in and keep them safe. Not wring your hands, leave them to their own devices and hope for the best - that's how accidents happen.

You are not helpless here - there are lots of parenting courses available. Speak to your local children's centre or health visitor if you don't know where to start.