Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

I think the overall point is that there are many people with needs including the one you mentioned that could justify priority parking.

But they don’t get it as realistically not everyone who has any kind of medical issue can get a blue badge, there has to be a cut-off.

But parents & children up to 12 do. And I’ve no issue with children with additional needs getting anything, or a wider space away from the shop for car seats etc. But outside of that I expect people to watch their children in a car park the sane way they need to near roads, pools etc.

And I see why you can argue for safety that children need to be near a shop, but the way it is now it’s priority 1) disabled & 2) parents & child up to 12. There’s a ton of people who could justify needing to park closer to a shop than a child up to 12.

Great, they also sign plenty of people who are fit to work off sick all the time. The GP has no place deciding who can drive and who can't. There are many, many pensioners who should absolutely not be driving due to their competence on the road, not their health. How can a GP decide that from inside an office? 🤦🏻‍♀️

If I was unable to get a blue badge (unlike your mother who does have one...) and I found parking/driving really stressful because I wasn't competent at it anymore, or thought I would die from falling over, then I would 1000000% get a shopping delivery. The delivery fee can be extremely cheap, and what I would save in fuel/tax/insurance I could use for that. I would much rather that than get hurt, or worse, hurt someone else.

I'm not being ageist. But apparently ageism only works in an ascending fashion. You're bias towards your mother and it shows.

The problem is that a carpark can be full of people who can't park, can barely see, can't hear, or are otherwise incompetent drivers, who are all doing very different things at different times. It's not the same as a road with a proper pavement, or a pool where there is at least one lifeguard.

And children can and do run off/pull away/get distracted/do daft stuff (as is developmentally usual) and there is always a risk that they will get killed by unsafe drivers in a busy carpark whilst their parent is carry shopping/pushing a trolley.

Or should a parent with two/three children push the trolley and hold all of their hands at the same time?

The GP is given criteria by the road safety authority. It has nothing to do with signing people off work which is an entirely separate issue and a lot more subjective. My mother’s GP is a truly brilliant man. He is also not her only doctor.

If my mother or her GP thought she was likely to hurt someone else she wouldn’t drive. Obviously! Finding parking stressful & difficult isn’t akin to being a danger to someone.

Im kind to be own mother, and others in her situation, because I have empathy for her. I probably would have had less empathy towards OAPs, and like you been more inclined to adopt the why don’t they stay at home attitude before I understand the lived experience.

Thats the nature of life, until you go through something it can be hard to be empathetic.

I also have an awareness that one day we will all be old. Keeping that in mind it is less easy to be dismissive.

All the arguments you are making could be also said about parents. If bringing your children to the shops is that bad why not get home delivery, or shop when they’re in bed etc. Why have so many children that you can’t control them etc.

Where do you live ? I waited twenty minutes for a BB space in our local supermarket yesterday. They are nearly always full. As with everything you can’t generalise because provision is patchy depending on area. And I’ve been in some car parks where the P&C spaces are a lot closer to the entrance than the disabled provision.

I think people get confused when talking about older people and blue badges. Their allocation is nothing to do with age. As with disability benefits such as PIP or attendance allowance for those claiming over retirement age, the blue badge assessment is nothing whatsoever to do with age related changes. It’s purely based on medical conditions. So if someone is say 74, as with previous posters’ mum, the normal expected, age related changes wouldn’t be taken into account and if the medical conditions on which she was issued the badge cease to exist, then the badge would be withdrawn.

I’ll probably get flamed for this but I think that’s as it should be. Age affects different people in different ways and it shouldn’t be a factor.

Hmm idk she could have waited for you to be done but she’s also allowed to park there too. If you’re going to get annoyed at her- just say no wait if someone asks you to move?

i think you can’t assume how able or difficult her child is. I have a school aged child a preschooler and a baby. It’s definitely the school age one I worry about in a car park! The preschool and baby are strapped in buggies so won’t get squashed and can’t open the doors on other cars. a few years and you may realise they get harder 🤣 or mine have. It’s best to try and assume others are also busy trying their best rather than arguing with them..

GP’s don’t decide who is fit to drive and who is not. I’m a disabled driver and I have to renew my licence every five years. I have to declare my disability along with any changes since last time, and the licence application is reviewed by the medical section of the DVLA. They contact the GP for information if necessary but the GP has no part in the decision as to whether to issue the licence or not. This is standard procedure when you declare a health condition which may affect your driving ability. Where cases can’t be decided on paperwork the DVLA can arrange for a medical examination.

And once you reach age 70 your licence is reviewed and reissued every three years. It’s the same procedure if you declare a health condition which may affect your driving ability, it will be reviewed by the DVLA medical team. Again, nothing to do with your GP and everything to do with being honest when you complete the forms.

To do that the law would have to recognise P&C spaces as legally enforceable, and at the moment they’re not. They’re a courtesy. And blue badge holders need to display the badge as a ‘permit’ to park in a disabled space. It doesb’t stop other entitled gits from parking in them so probably wouldn’t sop abuse of P&C spaces either.

Yes, I understand the difference. I was asking the question if the pp who seemed to want another category of segregated parking even though her DM HAS a Blue Badge, just in case it’s not renewed (in other words in case the decision is made that her DM no longer needs preferential parking!)

Playing devil’s advocate, my son is 12 but has epilepsy. He looks totally fine but in reality is very unsafe in situations like car parks. We tend to use disabled bays (he has a blue badge) but in their absence we will use parent and child. We would be one of these people drawing your ire but we wouldn’t have been rude to you or asked you to stop sorting your baby out to get in the space.

My mother has been through a hell of a lot in her life, so maybe tone it down.

Her blue badge may not be renewed because other people need it more than she does so the criteria have to be v narrow so ensure they get parking, not because she doesn’t need it. She does. There is a difference. There are cracking down where we are (not in UK).

Many people can’t walk at all, have had a stoke etc and need to be first in line. I’ve no issue with that.

I do have an issue with blanket priority parking up to the age of 12 for parents because so many people need priority parking more.

i think this thread has gone way off on a tangent - if the OP’s main concern was the fact that the woman who parked next to her couldn’t wait half a minute whilst she strapped in her baby then the answer would be clear, yes, the other woman was unreasonable not have just waited. Personally I wouldn’t have ignored her and just told her to wait a minute, but that’s just me.

whether or not people think the parent and child spaces should be used by a child who is around 10 years old is irrelevant - unless the spaces state anything different, people are going to make use of them whilst they meet the criteria.
making up your own rules about who should or shouldn’t use them is just pointless. Think what you want, but to pass comment or make faces is just going to open you up to potential rows in the car park.

From this thread it’s clear a lot of people think the spaces should be used differently, so perhaps it’s worth contacting the head office of certain stores or whoever would be best placed to consider a change.

I think the same

Then monitor your kids better. Teach them to behave. Why are they running about in a carpark putting themselves and others at risk??

Because it's entirely developmentally normal for children to not be completely 100% aware of their surroundings and be unaware of dangers. You can't teach children not to be children.

@Swiftie1878it’s 12. This is the age children may need to be in a booster seat (I was 5’8” at 11, but then child seats were not common way back then - seatbelts neither!)

That other parent was correct in that she has the right to parc there, but having the right and béing right is not the same. You see, having the right means that nobody - you OP - can forbid them to do so. Being right is more like ...... doing the right thing at that moment, in that situation. She would've been right to let you handle your newborn baby and finding another,way - like on the other side ofnher car - to let her 10 year old majestically descend from the vehicle. So yes, I think she was being an arshole. Maybe she had a bad day, like....maybe her sister was crushed by a house falling on top of her.

Yes, I’ve acknowledged that the general rule is 12. It seems it’s just my local Tesco’s that stipulates up to 5 years old!

That bears no relevance to my point, I’ve not mentioned that at all. OP feels only she’s entitled to the space because she has a baby, that parents with 12 year olds shouldn’t be using the space - which is not true at all. Both were entitled to a space. They were both as bad as each other tbh.

Because it's entirely developmentally normal for children to not be completely 100% aware of their surroundings

That's why parents need to be big grown-ups and be in charge.

Hold their hand, set expectations, follow through. Good grief.

Wow, several big leaps there! I was answering your question. You're then asking yourself even more questions that are not relenvant to.this thread and you seem to be even more confused

What don't you understand about being a blue badge holder? It entitles you to legally park in the relevant spaces, If you don't qualify for the badge, for whatever reason, then you don't get to legally park in them, whatever your age or disability

What a totally stupid argument, the parent and child spaces are for parents with children (up to 12 in most cases) you wittering in about choices doesn’t actually change that fact now does it? So it’s ok for someone who hasn’t actually qualified for a blue badge to use a space meant for someone else but it isn’t ok for the actual person it is meant for to use it? What absolute dumb logic.

Give over.

yes as they are offered as a courtesy space as disabled parking isa legal requirement people choose to have kids hence why this is offered as a courtesy offer not an enforceable thing
no one chooses to be disabled so yes they are more entitled then a parent to use these spaces as disabled people have less options and resources parents have several options and resources open to them