Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

Have you juggled a 3 month old into their car seat in a busy car park and been ok with people telling you to stop so they can simply do something faster. It’s a parent and child space absolutely nobody who is assisting a child that needs help should be stopped or slowed down for the convenience of someone else.

What you on about? Who’s starting arguments? You’ve asked for peoples opinions and I gave mine

Apologies. Our supermarket limits it to under 5’s. I’ve only ever used these spaces there, so didn’t realise that the standard is under 12’s!

The other person did, they called me ignorant, hence me snapping back.

Not everywhere.
It’s under 5’s at Meadowhall for example.

I was pleased to see they’ve had a major clamp down on it last time I visited.

https://meadowhall.co.uk/news/parent-child-parking-permit

Hold onto your hat... I use them when I take my mum out - we are 50 and 70. She needs a wheelchair but doesn't have a blue badge yet. I won't use a disabled space, there's precious few of those available but I need to be able to get the wheelchair next to the car door and P & C spaces allow that.

I’m with you OP. I have three kids under 8 but I only use the parent bays when I’m with my youngest who is 3.

I might have raised an eyebrow and considered myself minutely inconvenienced by the experience of being asked. I wouldn't have been annoyed about it or considered it an unreasonable request.

On the contrary I have chosen to pause getting the straps on the baby and briefly closed the door to allow someone else to get out of their car because they are clearly going to be quicker than me.

If this is real, why would you even get worked up about it. Just say ‘I’ll close my door after I’ve put my child in their seat’ and then carry on with what you’re doing. Some people are rude, you don’t have to give them headspace.

and letting them learn how to get themselves in and out of the car independently is parenting.

I agree with you OP, when DS was old enough to get himself out the car seat, we just used regular parking spaces. I think parents with children who need to be got out the car by an adult should take priority.

BUT, that's not something you can police in any way, so I'd recommend you adopt the attitude referred to by a PP of extreme cheeriness and a chirpy refusal to notice their bad manners. It'll stand you in better stead than trying to shame the unshameable which isn't a word but damned if I can think of something better, cursed brain-fog

They are for all young children. To help parents get kids and out of cars and also to prevent damage to other vehicles by children shoving the door open. Which children have a habit of doing. Bu usually by the age of 10 or 12 they have learned how to behave and can be trusted to get in and out in a regular parking spot.

I completely feel your pain here. They were all taken up when I took my son to be registered for his birth so I had to park in a normal space. Was unable to get his car seat back into the car through the door as another car had parked so closely to me and had DD car seat at the other side so couldn’t put it through there, had to put him in the front seat and turn off the airbag. As I was driving out I saw a woman get into her car parked in the parent and child space. I was so tempted to say something but just wanted to get home at that point. I’ve seen it numerous times since but the people who do this will just argue with you because they think they have a divine right to everything and anything so i just don’t even think it’s worth it

I never bothered with them personally. It's not worth the kind of shit you both of you gave each other today. I've seen plenty of squabbles over the use of these spaces. Park at the back of the car park where nobody else can be arsed to walk from, preferably with a fence, wall or end of row the baby side and park with enough space that side to get a seat in and out. Never had an issue.

Op last year I got a filthy look from a number of people when I parked in the kids’ space. Ds was 12 and could barely walk having just gotten out of hospital but actually it was as much for me, I was after spending 6 days on a fold out bed with him with practically no sleep. One woman marched over, looked at the pair of us, obviously realised we were struggling and asked did we want a hand. I know this wasn’t the case here but just leave people alone. I’ve also had a woman ready to give out and then realise I was pregnant and getting a school child and a toddler out (I don’t know how she’d already decided I wasn’t deserving!!!) I’m so fed up of the world trying to put people in order of worthiness to catch a bit of a break!!

I'm not getting into if they needed the space or not but you should have continued what you were doing for the safety of your DS. It would have delayed them by a minute or two.

Next time ignore or tell them you be a minute.

i think they should be recategorised so that it's ok to do that. I need to take my mum out with a wheelchair sometimes (sometimes she doesn't need it) and using one of these spaces would be great. Unfortunately we usually go to meadowhall so can't use the P&C at all.

Need the laugh emoji 😂

I woulda told a 10 year old to wait, teach them manners young

I wouldn’t mind this at all, I know disabled people have said they park here when there are no spaces and that’s fine. I’m sure it’s very clear that your relative needs some extra space and time. I’m sure you will also be respectful of the people in the next bay and be as patient with them as you’d like them to be with you.

This is what I did and she barked “ignorant” at me.

My DC is 10 and Ive not used the parent and child parking spaces for years, its called not being selfish!

They are for under 12s our way. It sounds like you were blocking someone from getting out of the adjacent vehicle and you have no way of knowing as to why a hasty exit was perhaps required. It’s not your role to police or determine if someone with a child of the appropriate age should be using the space or not.

If you had not blocked the exit from the vehicle, everyone would have continued their day without argument.

We find that parking at the furthest end of the car park is generally easier than the allocated spaces, but that depends on individual car parks and how many children you have walking. They didn’t exist when I had my DC and we don’t use them for our GC.

I thought the point of the spaces was that they are wide enough to open door

You’re probably right, if she hadn’t of called me ignorant I would have just silently left. It just got to me!