Aibu to think this is a good salary?

[jamsandwich5]

Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.

I work 30 hours, he works 38. He wants me to up my hours but I don’t see why as we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

AIBU to think 64k for a household (of4) is plenty?

Depends where you live?

it depends on which area of the country you live in to be honest and with kids whatever small extra you earn would that then need to go on wrap around care after school?

Sorry, not London - South West rural.

If you can fund what you need then that’s great but I don’t think we’d cover our mortgage, utilities and council tax with that.

It’s over £5k a month so unless you’ve got a huge mortgage or something it seems great for those hours.

64K after tax is over 5k a month. Yep. I'd say that's enough outside of expensive areas. That said, extra income will help to build savings, pensions, increase equity in house, or buy butter house, nicer holidays etc...

Mortgage is £900 a month.

For 68 hours a week between you, that sounds generous. However, what would you be able to differently if you did work full time hours? And what would be worse?

What's the pre tax salary?

For SW rural £64k joint salary is very good

Is 64k combined income over 5k a month? I thought it was less than that, especially factoring in pensions.
I think it is fine, depending on the area you live.
Some posters will say not because they live in expensive areas, where salaries are higher and paying for private school is normal.

I think my quality of life would just be worse? as it stands I am doing all the school pick ups and drop offs and working more would mean less of those (roping in grandparents probably) weighing up the money I’d rather spend the time with the kids after school while they’re little?

Missed the part which said after tax 🤣

Yes we are not paying for schools. We live quite simply and have plenty of savings.

It wouldn’t be enough for us and we live outside of London. We’d have no real money left over for a bit of cushion - e.g the clutch has just on DD’s car and she genuinely needs it for college and work. £750 needed overnight.

Ive checked the budget and after all the essential outgoings basically about £2500 a month is unaccounted for.

I think like everything else the conversation isn't just about money - what is he offering to pick up if you're working more. If the answer is that you can't make it work without relying on family, and you have any other options available, then you shouldn't do it.

I think 2500 spare every month is great. It will get easier as your kids get older and maybe you can revisit it then. For now I think he has a great setup - enough money to pay all the bills 'and' very little required of him to organise the house.

He sound jealous that you work less hours but I bet he isn’t seeing stepping up and doing the school runs in his future if you work more hours.
The managing life admin should not be underrated. Maybe point out how much more he will need to pick up if you work extra hours?

You bring in similar amounts. That should be enough.

This to me means more than money. I always worked part time, not in a school but school hours and holidays (I was very lucky), when the boys were at Primary school and I loved it. Obviously my pension has suffered but I’m glad I didn’t miss loads.

If you work more hours will he then spend more of his own time doing admin and kid stuff?

I think the value of you working 30 hours and having time/headspace to sort kids and life admin out would outweigh the benefits of working more whilst the kids are young at least- it’s a big undertaking to keep everything running smoothly and being on top of things, let alone actually spending time with kids after school/play dates one day a week, and not chasing your tail all the time!

does/would your husband help with the life/school adminy tasks, cleaning, shopping, cooking etc?

If you are comfortably off then I would table the idea for another few years yet until the kids are older at least.

Why does he want you to up your hours?

He must have given some reason.

I think my quality of life would just be worse? as it stands I am doing all the school pick ups and drop offs and working more would mean less of those (roping in grandparents probably) weighing up the money I’d rather spend the time with the kids after school while they’re little?
Men never ever get this- they think money is it and the kids will magically get themselves to and from school. Yet if you had to pay for them for childcare or collections they never make the connection that you working those hours is costing the house money!

You have struck a good balance of time v funds. No point being cash rich and time poor with no quality of life always chasing your tail.

How old are the kids? And would he be prepared to do pick ups/ drops offs if you were working full time?