Aibu to think this is a good salary?

[jamsandwich5]

Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.

I work 30 hours, he works 38. He wants me to up my hours but I don’t see why as we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

AIBU to think 64k for a household (of4) is plenty?

Without understanding why Your husband feels this way (and what he’s willing to sacrifice to make it work) it’s impossible to say whether he’s being unreasonable or not.
There are a lot of comments on here about time with your family being more important than money, but equally I also see a lot of comments on pension/retirement threads lamenting the fact that careers and pensions had been sacrificed to work part time for the kids.
If you worked more hours and saved £500 a month for your kids in 18 years that could be worth 170k+… does your DH think a big deposit for your kids to buy a house is worth the sacrifice now?
im not saying that should be your priority but without understanding why he thinks you should work more hours it’s impossible to say if it’s a fair ask or not.
whatever you choose should be what is best for your family, but ‘best’ is subjective.

@jamsandwich5 I think a lot of people missed the "after tax" bit. Over £5k a month in the bank account against a mortgage of only £900 is massive.

As always, the thread is full of jokers who claim that this household income is somehow poverty.

It baffles me how much money people need. I bring home 38k after tax etc and my DH brings home around 30k and we have plenty of money.

People sneering saying oh that’s barely enough to scrape by have shocked me.

I don’t know how old your kids are?

If younger I’d be inclined to wait a bit and enjoy the time with them as you are still working and having a career aswell anyway. It’s nice to pick up and take to school.

We did both of us full time plus and it’s not been easy- I’ve felt overwhelmed and resentful as times has gone on. And utterly exhausted. There is a lot to be said for a calm house and children will Thankyou for it plus you are around to supervise homework and routine when it comes.

That said I’ve built a significant pension pot and investments which should the worst happen I could survive on my own independently both if divorced or retired. But maybe working flat out makes a divorce more likely!!

Im honestly shocked how much of a pension pot you need for a comfortable retirement- it’s over a million. Very difficult to achieve that on your incomes unless you invest heavily now. So if you do have spare cash put it in a stocks and shares ISA and also as much as you can afford into pension. You will get the advantage of compound dividends

So you will end up paying a lot more down the line to top up pension.

The other thing to consider is career progression and how easy it might be to increase your salary down the line as it gets more difficult as you get older. Plus after 50 you get a lot more tired and May then want to cut back to part time just for your own time.

Personally I can’t comment on living on 64 k for a family of 4. We earn jointly a lot higher so I think you end up relying on that standard of living.So not really comparable.

The thing is what would he do in those hours, would they be fruitful spent at home? Somehow I doubt it.

If you work 31k for 30 hours, and he earns 33k for 38 hours then you earn more per hour then he does. He should aim to earn more too!

I do 3 days 22.5 hours. WFH 1 or 2 days per week. This means I can do school run 3 or 4 times per week and pick ups twice. We have help from family for the other days (he does none). It also means school holidays are easier as we are not looking for cover for full weeks. On my "days off" I will do shopping, laundry, cleaning, meal planning etc, household admin. All things he then doesn't have to worry about.
We do not have loads of money but we have moved house this year and had a foreign holiday so not doing too badly! The time is def worth more to me than the money.

If you spend your free time doing house things and school admin, does he suggest he will pick up this slack if you work extra hours?

Off over £5k a month after tax?! Where do you live?

If you can afford what you need and a bit of what you want, then it's enough. Not for me to judge anyone, but I would find it much easier to have a bit of time when the kids are still kids-you won't get this time back, so why not enjoy it if you can? If one partner can work a bit less than the other, and be available for kids/family emergencies/just to get more stuff done, it makes life much easier and nicer for everyone. Lots of arguments are caused be cause life is just so busy, and we're rushing around. If you work a bit less, but can get things done so everyone relaxes more, why not? I'd rather have that than a fancy car/extra holiday/bigger pension that I'm too stressed and ill to ever get to.
I wish I could work less and improve my family's balance (unfortunately due to personal circs this isn't an option for us, but in your situation, I'd make the most of it).

A two income household will always be better off than a single income householder earning the same amount. Because they get two tax free allowances, two chunks of income attracting only basic rate etc

The extra money is not worth the extra day at work. It’s a good wage. After your mortgage it’s still a good wage. As I’ve got older my priorities have definitely changed, what is the point in working if you can’t enjoy your life!

Why does he want you to increase your hours when you're doing all the school runs?

This is quite selfish of him. You'll just end up more run ragged.

Who supports the kids with homework? Gets their uniforms ready? Etc

Duplicate post

If he wants more money, he can earn it himself. You’re already bringing in more than him per hour and it’s not really that unchanged less in total, plus you're doing more unpaid work in the house. If you’re not actually struggling for money then the extra bit of time to get things done and ensure you are not run ragged is worth more than the extra money.

Unchanged is a typo, should read not that much less in total.

Depends where you live, that wouldn’t cover our basics - mortgage, bills,food, , car - where we are but we earn much more and Are comfortable

So subtracting even expensive CT and utility bills, is your mortgage 4.5k a month?! That's mental. Why do people buy houses they need to get into such daft amounts of debt for. a mortgage of 4k a month will be around 3.5k interest. So you are throwing away 3.5k, just like that every month.

If you are content, then it is plenty.

Some people will have double that and say they are unhappy and overstretched and in many instances this comes down to their choices so they will never have enough. Some people will have less and will look at your figure in envy.

I think if everyone took a leaf out of your box, we'd have a far less stressed, much happier and healthier society.

Of course the government prefer people to worry and work as many hours as possible for as long as possible for as much as possible - more tax for them!

Having a balance is what we should all aim for. Live simpler, have the time to cook healthy meals, consume less, less crap all over the house which adds nothing to our lives.

Continue as you are OP. You sound like you are content which is more than can be said for many.

So you're going back on your agreement? If you'd have put that in your OP I would have voted differently!
Lots of financial planning for the future will have taken into account you earning more once the children were both in school and now you've gone back on that agreement!

I work full time and probably don't need to from a financial perspective, however, both my DH and I work in precarious sectors. I have already been made redundant twice and my DH has also been managed out a couple of times (with compensation). There are always lots of restructures.

So we do have spare money but that's if one of us doesn't have a job for 6 months to a year. The first time I was made redundant I was absolutely floored and needed time to recover

I also would like to retire at 60

Wouldn't be enough for our family of 4 but if you're not struggling then you don't need to

Because often they cut their cloth.
A friend of mine is bemoaning the time it's taking to have their en suite redone as she has to use one of the kids' bathroom. 4 people, 3 bathrooms.
3 bathrooms = 3 x maintenance, 3 x the cleaning etc.

Those figures don’t look right. Our payments are about £4k but we are paying down about £1600 per month (small house in an expensive area - we definitely do not have three bathrooms!)

Of course 38 hrs is full time. I'm on 37.5 so a 7.5 hour day or 9am to 5.30pm including a 1 hour unpaid lunch break.

He can always work longer hours/ overtime. But that's definitely full-time.