Aibu to think this is a good salary?

[jamsandwich5]

Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.

I work 30 hours, he works 38. He wants me to up my hours but I don’t see why as we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

AIBU to think 64k for a household (of4) is plenty?

I'd be pointing this out to your husband.

What does he want from you doing more hours? If you don't need the money, it suggests to me that either he wants to drop his hours (but surely he'd have said so), or that he's peeved at working eight more hours than you, and wants you to have it as 'hard' as him. It's a nasty, childish attitude if that's how he thinks.

Ask him. Ask him why he wants you to up your hours, and ask how he's going to facilitate that, e.g. by doing the school runs and the school admin. (No, you are not going to burden the grandparents needlessly, he needs to do it of you can't.)

(Edited for spelling)

we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

Then yes, it's a good salary.

Sounds like you've got good control over your money. What's his reasoning?

So you earn more than him (per hour), do ALL the drop offs and pick ups, presumably then do more cooking, cleaning, housework etc

Why isn’t he looking to bring in more money if he wants it? Why doesn’t he go for a promotion? Move companies etc, to at least earn the same as you.

You’re currently carrying him and he’s moaning about it 🙄

I’d ask if he should get paid more. You’re providing invaluable time with your kids, that’s worth a-lot more than more days salary if you can already manage financially

Yes that is plenty with a £900 mortgage.
So you're bringing in more working less hours? Why should you contribute more than him financially when you're not struggling and earn similar? Should be equal surely? If you did want to increase your hours I'd put the extra into your own pension pot or savings account. Seems fair.

From the OP's first sentence

'Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.'

So it's your job to earn more amd the grandparents' job to pick up the extra childcare? Even though you have plenty spare?
He's an idiot who sounds jealous of your time, yet unsupportive of the extra burden that time relieves him of.

I would say given outgoings that that is fine, but also, you're working 30 hours, not 20. With younger children and the extra time they take, I think 8 hours fewer a week is a reasonable trade-off especially if you're doing school runs. Is he planning to do more of that if you work more? Will you have to spend any more on child care?

I would ask him if he is going to get a better paid job to match yours.
Using those hours roughly you earn more per hour than him in a rudimentary calculation.
I would calculate the additional costs of pre/post school childcare and work out a budget and discuss further maybe he is jealous that he has to work so many extra hours for not much more money.

Maybe he should reduce his hours and your work full time? You clearly will bring home more than he does so you would be better if financially and no impact to home.

If you can get by and are happy then it's fine, but if you want more out of life be it holidays, bigger house, or whatever then you have the scope to do more hours and earn more.

It's not a bad wage for the number of hours you're working

Since you have a higher salary prorata I'd say it would make most sense for you to go FT and for him to drop down to 0.8FTE. That way you'd have a higher income and he could pick up the bulk of the childcare and wifework. Suggest that (maybe with a complete list of all the things that you currently do that he'll now have to cover), I doubt he'll accept. Seriously though, you are the higher earner so you hold the cards in this discussion, he needs you and your children more than you needs him. Tell him you are doing what suits you and he has the choice to accept it or prove he's capable of doing more at home.

If you can pay your mortgage and you are in your forever home, are putting enough in your pensions to be comfortable in old age, have a savings buffer in case your boiler packs up, and you are still able to afford the lifestyle you want, you are grand.

Sadly in many parts of the country you wouldn’t manage that on £64k (average house price is just short of £300k now). But if you can, fair play to you.

Sadly, knowing men like i do now: he is either jealous that you work fewer hours and/or peeved that you could be bringing in more cash (reflected status). Neither opinion is attractive.

If he sold it as a financial investment for your future, and wanted to chip in re admin, i could maybe get on board. But I am hearing man baby with selfish traits.

Does he want to reduce his hours, it that the issue? Its just in most families it is the lower earners that works part time and in terms of finance it does make sense.

Some valid points. I think the reasoning is, we always said once our youngest was at school I'd up my hours a bit. I'm going to show him this thread and gauge his reaction 😂

A good salary is relative to your circumstances. Are you happy with it, can you feed, clothe and house your family and do the things you want to do?
In the context of the wider country and average salaries, no it's not a good salary. But in the context of your family it might be more than enough.

Full time at my place of work is 35 hours so you work almost full time. That’s more than part time, you’ve found a perfect balance. You work a good amount and are around for your kids as needed too. He is being really unreasonable

You have plenty for now, you an save, pay into pnsions and holiday on this.

Just a warning about when they start school… the admin can be a shock. Scheduling and logistics, dealing with school comms and paperwork, paying for lunches, trips, keeping track of events, clubs, scheduling play dates, keeping on top of reading, homework, bloody annoying craft ‘projects’. You’ll be wanting to share that between the 2 of you.

How long have the hours been split like that? I can imagine he’d find it unfair that if you went full time you’d be bringing in a lot more, but he has to work full time!

If you're not struggling, and you don't need to up your hours, why would you? Life's not just about work, work, work. You need to live, too!

I'm willing to bet that she, like many other women, take on more of the household chores and mental load. So, in my opinion, the 8 hours a week difference in working hours probably make up for this. IMO it's the perfect solution!

A good salary is always going up be subjective, but you've said you've got £2.5k a month left over, so for your particular family it's very good. I'd be exploring his reasons why he feels you need to work more, especially as you earn more than him. Is he resentful that you have more free time?