Aibu to think this is a good salary?

[jamsandwich5]

Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.

I work 30 hours, he works 38. He wants me to up my hours but I don’t see why as we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

AIBU to think 64k for a household (of4) is plenty?

I work 24 hours a week (early.finish and one day off) Nd have been since DD started school. She's now well into secondary but I have no desire to increase.my.hours.

Actually.discussed it recently with DH because my days are less busy now she's older but we agreed that the extra money isn't worth it really because we are comfortable, go on nice holidays and dont really need more. Obviously if we had a lottery win I wouldn't say no but I'm not working more just for the money 😃

Once basics and a bit of fun are accounted for I would go for time over money every single time.
When you get to my age, you realise that time when they're little, is so precious.I've lost a few friends to illnesses and accidents, and life is ridiculously short, so grab it where you can.

I wouldn’t regard it as a good salary. It’s probably average though.

Is he going to share the load of doing the things you currently do with the 8 hrs off? I suspect not. He's probably not even aware of most of it. Make a comprehensive list of all the things you handle so you can have a discussion about what he would take responsibility for if you worked more hours.

You spend what you have. The more you earn the more you spend and the more you want. Like the Poster the other day who said 170k wasn’t enough to live on.

Why does he want you to work more hrs? You’re only working 8 hrs less and you’re able to balance work with family life.
Honestly, what goes on with some men? They’re happy to work their wives to the bone because most definitely don’t step up.

Well it must be going somewhere.

Is the 64k pre tax @jamsandwich5 or after tax, national insurance and pension?

We would struggle on a household income of 64 k as we are a 6 figure household. However, there’s no point in increasing your hours if your quality of life will reduce.

What does he want the extra money for? If you have enough that's fine.

There is more to life than money, I think not being over worked, stressed and resenting your partner because your working full time and also doing all the mental load is worth more than doing more hours at work. You'd have more money but wouldn't be as happy what the point?

Have you considered future costs? I know a lot of people who are regretting not saving more when their children were younger as the costs associated with university are horrendous now. When are you planning on retiring? Have you got enough in your pension? I'd factor all of those into your calculations, and check you are still happy, and if so, enjoy your time with them.

All the school runs and you do 30 hours.
What exactly does he do?
He sees you as a work horse OP, be careful.

Selfish men don't give a shit if the mother of their children is run into the ground, just as long as they get the max out of them.

My friend wiped the smile off her husbands face by taking the promotion he encouraged but then had to start an hour earlier.

He had to sort out the children as she had done, completely on his own.

He actually wanted her to change hours so he could avoid it.
She told them they would divorce first and meant it.

I have just changed my hours to do self employed work around the kids and I love it. I do all the drop offs and pick ups, I can make dinner from scratch every night, I clean and do the garden and laundry on my days off so the weekends are full on family time. Our quality of life is so much better as a family. It's worth the drop in pay. I appreciate we are very lucky though. My husband earns about 58k, I probably earn 18k now, and our mortgage is only £250.

Yeah is a lot more than our salaries and we have a bigger mortgage!

2500 extra a month is good, plus sounds like you have some good savings already. I probably wouldn't bother with the extra hours and spend the time with your family etc.

Is this about working hours/money or about something hidden under the surface, like some sort of resentment resulting from fatigue or depression.

Easy to get distracted by the surface discussion.

Sounds perfect. if you have 2.5k left over per month you could top up your pensions and retire super early!

The general convention is to list annual earnings pre tax and take home (post tax) earnings post tax.

I’m on my own with two teens and earn £55k so if you look at it like that then you have more earning potential. But you dont say what you do.

As you work 8 hours less I presume you pick up the majority of the household admin, chores and childcare?

So if he wants you to work more hours then he would have to take on more household stuff, or pay for a cleaner etc...

Sounds like he hates that he has to work more hours than you, simple as that.

If you did up your hours do you, hand on heart, think he would take on 50% of all tasks outside of work?

I mean...you only work slightly less than him so realistically you should be doing 60% of the home based tasks and him 40%, does he? Cos I am betting he doesnt.

You’re saying you could live on roughly half of what you bring in each month. You absolutely don’t need to work more. It’s a cliche but so true that time when kids are small is so fleeting. Don’t give that up for money you don’t need.

Your children are only young once, so if you've got £2.5k less over per month after essential payments, I'd choose the same as you and spend time with them. Do you really want grandparents picking them up at the end of the day, and to hear first hand how their day has gone before you do, when you don't have to. I guess getting home a bit earlier means the odd household job gets done in the week, you can start on tea if DH has a job where he doesn't get back until 6.30pm/7pm. All, that means less DH has to do and more quality hours together, even if it's enjoying a programme together in the evenings.

In time you can decide if you want/need to work extra hours.

Sounds fine to me. If you can pay all your bills and enjoy life and don't struggle then perfect. Obviously salaries stretch more in some areas than others, so "good" is subjective, but it sure isn't bad!

On paper yes it’s a good salary but in reality it depends on your lifestyle. My dh’s ex wife insisted that his salary was enough to live on and she didn’t want to work more than part time. They ended up getting into massive credit card debts, he was still paying it off when I met him.
so if you don’t go into debt and can afford what you need I’d say it’s ok

Your r DH is a twat.

Halve all the pick ups and drop off, wraparound care after school costs, wgy should grandparents be ropped in?

what about school holidays?

he looks at it on paper, not the reality of who does what.