Aibu to think this is a good salary?

[jamsandwich5]

Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.

I work 30 hours, he works 38. He wants me to up my hours but I don’t see why as we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

AIBU to think 64k for a household (of4) is plenty?

Is he offering to up his contribution of domestic labour, life admin, AL days when the children are ill, drop offs and pick ups and after school clubs?
You can’t be expected to carry on doing all those things and up your hours.

FWIW OP I earn more than you and don't have anything like such a good work/life balance (hard to achieve in my industry). You sound to me like you have the ideal setup that so many people are striving for. Unless you DH has money concerns that he hasn't shared then I think you should talk to him about the bigger picture / money saved by you undertaking so much of the family admin and childcare.

My question is why? Why does he want you to increase your hours if you’re doing ok and have savings?

Just tell him that's fine but he'll have to do 50% of the school drop/ pick ups, house work, laundry, shopping, cooking, whatever else.

More important things than money, if you’re happy as you are and are managing financially spend the time with your DC while they’re little

I think you have a good balance here - I don't see how work extra hours would help unless you want to do more hours. Is offering to do more work around the home.

Add in child benefit for two children as under threshold?

That’s what her ‘plenty of savings’ would be used for.

The reason why the numbers don't add up for you is because you are calculating £64k as their income before Tax. The OP has stated in her first paragraph the figures she has given are after tax.

Point out the implications of you losing that time on HIM.
the drop off and pick ups the admin you do the cleaning yiu get done and the expectations on him to pick some of this up and see what he says

It wouldn't be enough for us (we private rent in the southeast)

Wildly depends on where you live and your outgoings. £64k a year wouldn’t even cover my basic bills.

That’s a good salary for the South West. Before any hours increase, trial life at 37.5 hours for 6 months. Split the school pick ups equally, school holidays, life admin, booking wrap around care, booking holiday club, food shop, cooking, meal planning, cleaning, homework etc etc

Make yourself unavailable for that extra time and see how you both adjust to doing 50:50 at home. I say this as it’s what I’ve been through in the last 3 years (without trialling) and it nearly destroyed our relationship. We’re coming out the other side now, however I think my OH underestimated how much I did and what it meant for me to increase my hours. I still do the majority but wish I’d never gone over 30 hours. The balance just isn’t there even with flexible working

We’d be broke on that but we have a big mortgage and live in London - so many variables it’s hard to say.

This data is useful as it looks at income by postcode

You're both on around £40-42K pa

That's pretty good for rural SW.

Your mortgage is cheap too.

If you can live comfortably then why increase your hours?

I think this is a question for you and him, not strangers. Not good to argue over money in a marriage.

Read ALL by the OP

OP has answered that.

oh dear. And poster is a commercial director.

at anyone not even taking in what is written in the first paragraph of the OP.

I know I read them. Calling something a ‘good salary’ is still very subjective though, and just because it covers what OP wants it to cover doesn’t mean her partner has to think it’s a ‘good salary’.

We earn nearly £100k combined and we don’t live the high life, can’t afford abroad holidays. 2 adult and 3 kids.

Well her partner earns less so maybe he could upskill and get a better paid job . He's the one who thinks they need more money. She already brings in more than him. Maybe a second job in a pub or something if he's so worried about only having 2k a month spare.

OK. I didn’t say he shouldn’t do these things. I’m simply saying a good salary is subjective. You seem to be taking how you feel about her partner out on me and that’s not necessary or relevant.

So, you both earn over 40k?
With, as most people calculate it, a household income in the region of 85k?
It's not mega bucks, but I'm not surprised you find it reasonably comfortable.