Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

I'm sorry there were so many inaccessible places but there are plenty of people who would have to call in advance of eating somewhere, those with allergies, bringing children to a licensed premises, vegan options....

@Mrsmunchofmunchington - it’s a really powerful analogy. Helped me understand. Must be really frustrating x

No.
My point was imagine a world where women cannot routinely turn up and buy lunch where ever. This is in fact normality for many disabled people.
MN is mainly a female place so hence the men being universally accepted example.
Nothing to do with men themselves in this instance.
Christ on a bike.
Clearly I have hugely over estimated people’s understanding.
Lesson learned.

Why are we specifically having a go at women here? It’s a stupid analogy. And lots of people have to plan ahead when eating out for all sorts of reasons, it’s not that ridiculous

I think I am a little bit in love with you for understanding!
Thank you.

It’s a point poorly made, that’s on you. There are a lot of reasons people can’t just show up and buy lunch without looking ahead that don’t involve disability.

Recognising it as a poor analogy (which it was) doesnt mean that one doesnt recognise and understand how difficult access its for those with limited mobility/wheelchair users.

Im often left asking myself, how would I do this in a wheelchair or with a walking frame when Im doing something. Having had problems with mobility in the past, although not now, Im very aware of it anyway

It doesnt mean I expect every single place to be accessible becuase thats not possible

I get annoyed with things like crossings, public transport, car park surfaces etc rather than cafes and shops which may have been built many years ago and cannot convert.

I don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time OP, I got it from your first post.

i read it aghast that anywhere wouldn’t be suitable for women. And then the last sentence I got it.

It certainly had the desired affect for me when reading. Outrageous for you

It's not people's understanding that's the issue, it's the content of your OP-it absolutely missed the mark.

Some places just aren't modern enough to be accessible for the disabled.
Listed buildings can't just knock down walls and the like.
I'm sorry you struggled but maybe it would be better to plan your lunches out in advance so you know what to expect.

Yanbu. I am sorry that there wasn't anywhere suitable for you.

I live in a city where there are lots of places that are inaccessible like this. Steps, toilets that are too small, narrow entrances. It must be so frustrating.

You're not missing anything worth knowing.

Trust me on this.

I’m curious about where you live. I live in a city full of listed buildings and have a disabled family member. We once had trouble with a bar. Otherwise, nearly all cafes and restaurants in the city have some accessible entry system. I’m surprised to discover this is local. I wonder if it is the high density of listed buildings that has forced this to be the norm.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy! But it is always possible to enter.

Indeed!

Did you deliberately choose venues not at ground level, op?

The point she is making is that she shouldn’t have to plan in advance just to go out to lunch!

Maybe be a grown up, intelligent woman and explain your issue, without dragging men into into for gods sake.

I feel really sad reading the comments on this thread. What a depressing world we live in. Complete lack of compassion and empathy. I think your analogy was excellent and made me stop and think. Things i completely take for granted. Im sorry you had to come home and im sorry for responses to your thread.

Except there is a huge difference because denying women would be based on just not wanting women to enter.

Completely different to someone in a wheelchair being physically unable to enter due to structural issues etc.

It's a good analogy, once explained. We'd be furious if places were only accessible to men.

Your post is very confusing and fails to make the point you may be trying to make.

There are indeed many establishments that refuse to cater for women these days - refusing to provide suitable single sex changing or toilets facilities or services like bra fitting.

Sadly, thanks partly to the pandering to the demands of disordered men, many accessibility budgets are likely to have been diverted into things like putting rainbow logos on trains, ripping out perfectly good single sex toilet facilities to replace with horrible mixed sex ones and rewriting all policies to discriminate against women which also gets expensive when they lose discrimination court cases.

@Mrsmunchofmunchington so no female disabled toilets? Or just no disabled toilets?

I understand why you posted like that - it's exactly because nobody would tell a woman to call ahead to ask whether she could be accommodated/ would be allowed into a restaurant, but that's exactly what people with physical disabilities are told. In retrospect the fact that at the moment single sex spaces are politicised and frequently cause for heated debate and a lot of pick me style attempts to flex about not "seeing the issue" the analogy was lost a bit.

I suppose height would be a substitute analogy - but I definitely understand what you mean and why you wanted to make people actually think about how it would be to have to call ahead (possibly to multiple places) before being able to do things most people take for granted. If people actually spent a week in a wheelchair (without the luxury of being able to jump out and lift it up steps / nip through narrow spaces/ push it empty over grass or cobbles because it's just an experiment and they don't actually need it) they might be more sympathetic.

This . Many buildings are not suitable for loos being downstairs or to install lifts.

Why don’t you say men?