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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

489 replies

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 22/09/2025 20:10

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

OP posts:
MissFitss · 25/09/2025 17:56

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 25/09/2025 09:03

No.
The scooter was a different day.
I was actually using my rollator when I couldn’t get into the pubs and cafe but it would be the same for a wheelchair user.

Why could you not get in?
Was it a tiny doorway or were there steps?

JDM625 · 25/09/2025 19:05

MissFitss · 25/09/2025 17:56

Why could you not get in?
Was it a tiny doorway or were there steps?

20 pages in and the OP still hasn't explained the actual issue with the 3 restaurants!

ExperiencedTeacher · 25/09/2025 23:45

moresoup · 25/09/2025 17:56

The difference is (and I say this as a disabled person) it doesn't usually require considerable expense and construction to make a restaurant accessible for someone of a different sex or ethnicity

No, absolutely. But all too often this is modern buildings that have been poorly thought through but tick the “accessibility” box because theoretically you can get a wheelchair in. The reality is that the ramp is too steep for a manual wheelchair user to get up independently (in the case of my local leisure centre, built in 2019), but it’s ok because you can call for a member of staff to come down to push you up.

Or the very modern multiplex cinema that has two wheelchair spaces in three of the 9 screens. The wheelchair spaces only have one companion seat beside them so a group of 4 can’t sit close together.

I totally understand (working in an old school building) that adjustments for access have to be accessible. But all too often this is in modern buildings too.

moresoup · 25/09/2025 23:55

ExperiencedTeacher · 25/09/2025 23:45

No, absolutely. But all too often this is modern buildings that have been poorly thought through but tick the “accessibility” box because theoretically you can get a wheelchair in. The reality is that the ramp is too steep for a manual wheelchair user to get up independently (in the case of my local leisure centre, built in 2019), but it’s ok because you can call for a member of staff to come down to push you up.

Or the very modern multiplex cinema that has two wheelchair spaces in three of the 9 screens. The wheelchair spaces only have one companion seat beside them so a group of 4 can’t sit close together.

I totally understand (working in an old school building) that adjustments for access have to be accessible. But all too often this is in modern buildings too.

Oh I completely agree it's enraging in modern buildings where they clearly didn't consult with a single wheelchair user

My big issue is doors to disabled loos that are manual opening. Either someone has to open the door for me (and risk getting their toes run over) or I have a ridiculous battle to get in/ have to shove my way in using my feet like a snowplough. My arms are weaker than my legs, but everyone seems to assume disabled people have magic super strong extendable arms

Sadworld23 · 26/09/2025 04:19

OP, I did not know some mobility scooters ard road legal. Totally not up to you for educating the masses, but i think you've helped a bit.
If it was me, I would have ROAD LEGAL emblazoned on a flag visible front and back if I planned to use on a road.

And you are right, disability can happen to anyone. Your circumstances sound particularly difficult and distressing, I hope you get the support you deserve to help you though dark times.

sashh · 26/09/2025 06:43

Just to add a couple of comments. I have arthritis in every joint in my body and sometimes my eyes.

I cannot use a manual wheelchair as I do not have the strength and/or I am in too much pain to self propel so I use a wheelchair that someone else pushed which is handy because the chair will go in the boot of a car.

I also have a mobility scooter. Mine is the smaller type so it is meant to be on the pavement but as everyone around here parks on the pavement and Friday, which is bin day, forget it. The smaller scooters can go on a bus and some of them can go on a train.

As has been said the larger ones are road legal and can only be used on the pavement at low speeds.

Yesterday I went to the pub, on my scooter. I was able to take it in and order a drink from the seat.

As for leaving the scooter outside the pub, I currently have cuts on my face, particularly my temple, nose and under my nose and bruises on both knees and one cheek, I also have had to order new glasses as my current ones are now scratched.

This is what I risk whenever I am on my feet, add to that the constant pain and no way am I leaving my scooter out of the pub.

As for listed buildings.

There is a hotel nearish to me that claims it cannot have accessible entry and a lift because they are 'listed'. But they have a newish extension with modern rooms. In the extension is a fire door that actually gives you level access to a number of rooms. Buildings that are are type two listed can't make changes to the outside but they can inside.

As I said further up the thread information about the accessibility is what people need to know.

Soontobe60 · 26/09/2025 07:22

asrl78 · 24/09/2025 15:32

They should be ridden on the road if they are being ridden above a certain speed (can't remember what that speed is). Riding them on the road isn't dangerous, it is careless/gormless drivers that are dangerous and should be called out, and this sort of victim blaming needs to be stamped out now. We wouldn't say dressing sexily is dangerous because you might get raped.

https://www.gov.uk/mobility-scooters-and-powered-wheelchairs-rules/driving-on-the-road

Using mobility scooters and powered wheelchairs

The rules for driving mobility scooters and powered wheelchairs on roads, pavements and footpaths.

https://www.gov.uk/mobility-scooters-and-powered-wheelchairs-rules/driving-on-the-road

Soontobe60 · 26/09/2025 07:28

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 25/09/2025 09:01

I did not try to take my scooter into a pub or cafe.
And they are road legal, so you might want to rethink that position.
Plus some people get angry if you are on a pavement and frequently pavements are blocked or have no dropped kerbs.
Thanks for illustrating my point though.

The point being made was that not all electric scooters are road legal. Presumably with your comment yours is.

Soontobe60 · 26/09/2025 07:31

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 25/09/2025 09:23

A bit about scooters as it seems there is general misunderstanding.

Not meaning you at all asrl78 but thought I would include this when clarifying your point about speed and thank you for your support.

Road legal scooters are limited to 8 mph.

You can also buy scooters which are only for pavement use which self limit to 4mph.

I am fully insured and have an exemption from the DVLA.

It is very much regulated and correct.

I take every care and consideration when using the road or indeed the pavement. On pavements I change the speed setting to lowest so as to not bother pedestrians.

The man who called me a crippled cunt and told me I should get off the road was frustrated because he had to wait behind me for approximately 100yds due to all the parked cars on the opposite side of the road.

There was no way for me to pull in and let him past.

His rudeness was no fault of mine, though some here have assumed it must be which just illustrates the view of disabled people as of less worth, a drain, an annoyance to “normal” people.

I also have a full driving licence but can't drive anymore due to pain.

I wasn’t always disabled.

I was diagnosed with cancer aged 46 which is now terminal.

It could happen to you or your family today.

Road legal scooters have to have a maximum speed of AT LEAST 8mph, not limited to 8mph.

sashh · 26/09/2025 10:33

Soontobe60 · 26/09/2025 07:31

Road legal scooters have to have a maximum speed of AT LEAST 8mph, not limited to 8mph.

Class 3 scooters can be used on the road and they ARE limited to 8mph.

You can get bigger scooters that are not in a class. They can go faster than 8mph but you have to register them with the DVLA and you need a driving licence.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 26/09/2025 10:35

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 22/09/2025 20:14

I honestly thought it was clear enough but replace not catering for women with not catering for disabled people.
I substituted women to try and give some insight into the injustice to a wider audience.

Edited

How tedious.

MeatballMenu · 26/09/2025 10:55

Road legal scooters have to have a maximum speed of AT LEAST 8mph, not limited to 8mph

@Soontobe60 is that what you meant to write because it doesn't make any sense? Surely a "maximum speed" is the limit?

How can it be a maximum speed of 8mph and not limited to 8mph?

Politygal · 30/09/2025 13:51

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 22/09/2025 20:10

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Complain to the equalities commission or similar body? Put a comment on TripAdvisor? Put it on your Neighbourhood app if you are a member?
Good luck

Change2banon · 02/10/2025 00:00

Politygal · 30/09/2025 13:51

Complain to the equalities commission or similar body? Put a comment on TripAdvisor? Put it on your Neighbourhood app if you are a member?
Good luck

Yeh, but if you do any of these OP, best not do what you did here, eh?

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